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Reviewer: zzzzq (Signed)
08 Nov 2017 9:23 am
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zzzzz
Chapter 33
Reviewer: anon (Anonymous)
14 Sep 2009 7:00 pm
This squicked me rather a lot I'm afraid. You really don't seem to acknowledge how difficult and really quite unpleasant the possesivness John has over Rodney is, and furthermore by implying that Rodney has *learned not to anger* this overbearing "Alpha" you are making it seem like it's a good thing that Rodney has rightly and justly adjusted to Johns awful behaviour. Having Carson tell Rodney that "maybe next time he won't anger the Alpha" as if Rodney is a naughty child whose behaviour must be modified by the stern but fair parent is unbelievably patronising. Why shouldn't Rodney anger John? John angers Rodney and doesn't get disciplined for it. The gas station scene and its aftermath was another example of this. Having Rodney just go along with it (why didn't he just call the police? or a cab, or anything to get him out of Johns reach?) as if he realised that he had been naughty, even if he didn't agree with his punishment was just ridiculous. Saying that having a cell phone is a privilege that Rodney has to earn or be worthy of is just nauseating.

Even if it's to "protect Rodney", even if it's for "his own good", even if John has the "best of intentions", it makes John a very unlikable patriarchal idiot, and Rodney into an out of character doormat. I really hope you don't intend to move this into an actual romantic relationship without some severe attitude adjustment on both John and Rodneys sides. At the end of the day, to give John that kind of authority over Rodney, even if he doesn't use it, is akin to abuse. Any "independent" action on Rodneys part (such as going to work under the mountain) would simply be John indulging him by allowing him to have his own way, rather than Rodney making choices that are his to make.

A real relationship is a partnership between equals, not between one partner who is basically in charge and chooses to indulge the dominated person by being nice to them and giving them the illusion of free will. This especially includes partners who are in bdsm power exchange relationships. It may *look* as if it is all one sided but the choice to submit is the submissives alone and is not just something that the dominant "allows". Try to think of it this way:

Imagine two fics, one features a loving hardcore bdsm relationship between John and Rodney, the other features John raping Rodney. These two fics both have the exact same setup - Rodney is tied down to a table, gagged and brutally taken by John. Rodney suffers the very same injuries in both fics and John calls him the same derogatory names. Is the relationship between the characters the same because of this? No, obviously not. The difference is that in one scenario Rodney has given John that control over him and in the other John has taken it without permission. The control that John has claimed over Rodney in your fic is taken without permission. That in itself could be an interesting plot device if followed up realistically, ie having Rodney take back control over his own life leaving John to earn back Rodneys trust (yes, even if controlling Rodney would keep him safer, control over your own life is a right not a privilege that John can give or take), but instead you have Rodney not only not fighting back, but eventually coming to LIKE John and worrying that John would send him away! That is either a massive case of Stockholm syndrome or a Rodney with literally no self respect who bears no resemblence to canon Rodney at all. I know you had John being all "nice and understanding" as the fic progressed, but once again, he is indulging a Rodney who has been left in no doubt who is really in charge.

I know you can handwave a lot of this by going "It's an au, it's werewolves, of course it's different, that's how Alphas are *supposed" to behave!". But consider this - if the characters that we are familiar with from SGA are not recognisable (by which I mean their personality is different, not that they occupy different roles) in a fic, the fic suffers. If any modern day human character in a fic (such as Rodney) has their control taken away by someone else who then proceeds to kidnap them, punish them, force them to do things they didn't want to do, take away basic human privileges such as being responsible for their own health (and again, yes, even if it's for their own good), and the authorial tone is basically saying "yes, this is a good thing, there is an adjustment period but this is the Right Thing To Do and the kidnapped character will just have to adjust to it and eventually learn to be grateful and like it because it's for their own good", then the fic suffers for it as not only is it out of character, but the story ignores basic human reactions. To go back to the earlier rape fic example, it's as if after John unties Rodney and leaves, Rodney then realises that John only raped him because he loved him and needed to teach Rodney a lesson in respect and who is in charge, so therefore John was right to brutally rape him after all. Next time they meet John is tender and careful and a respectful Rodney falls deeply in love with him. The fic is basically saying good old John, Rodney is so lucky. See the problem?

I hope you can take this as the constructive critisism that it's intended to be. Please believe me when I say that I wouldn't write several paragraphs about a fic/writer that I didn't think had at least some potential.

Good luck with future writing

Author's Response: Whew. Okay. A lot to say here, and I'm not sure if you're even going to read it since this is an anon review. First off - I think you've seriously misunderstood what I was *trying* to do, which is, of course, through no fault of your own. I'm sorry if I've squicked you, but I think you've taken some things that I've had happen in the story the wrong way.rn
rnFirst off, with showing John as the parent and Rodney as the child: not what I intended at all, but, in a way, an apt metaphor. I meant to show Rodney as new to the situation, misunderstanding and learning. That put John in the position of being a fumbling parent in a new situation since, as I tried to make clear, this has never happened before. So they are both learning and both adapting and making mistakes along the way. It happens. John's not used to the way Rodney behaves and Rodney's not used to John - and so on and so forth.rn
rnWhile it does come out as "I'm bigger, I'm better, listen to me," I wanted the argument between John and Rodney (I'm thinking of after the gas station here) as an actual fight, not as a way to achieve dominance. That's what it looks like, and that's what you get - and part of this is supposed to be Rodney misunderstanding that as part of a bigger/better/stronger mentality, but I tried to show through other examples that, hey, he could really do what he wanted so long as he didn't do anything stupid like shout out to the world "hey, I'm a wolf!" In a way, I'm kind of happy that you saw it that way, because that is what the initial reaction is supposed to be. On the other hand, it is only supposed to be a fight that has John taking his anger and frustration out the only way he knows how, so yeah - not so good.rn
rnI'm going to be honest here and tell you that the rest of your comment through me for a loop. I get what you're saying, and I totally agree with you, BUT - and here's where I think we disagree - I don't see it as being applicable here for a few reasons. One, John is emphasizing choice here. Yes, he's made it clear he'd like a relationship, but he's left it up to Rodney. He's also told Rodney he can leave. Rodney also has been "gifted" for less than a year, and a good portion of that was while injured and recovering. I don't see him as acting like a doormat; I see him as learning, observing, and trying to process everything because OMG-what-a-change-is-this-really-happening-to-me? He hasn't reached the "I should be fighting this" stage, and I don't see him as getting there in the concluding fic because Rodney is a scientist, and he's going to figure things out and then call John an idiot.rn
rnPlease don't think that this is meant to write off your review or anything like that - it was good to see and something I need to consider as I am (slowly still) editing these. Scenes that I have previously cut are working their way back in and scenes I included may be phasing out, because there are moments where Rodney and John butt heads that I didn't include because it just didn't seem relevant at the time.rn
rnLastly, on your ending rape example, I just have to say that I see the *moral* problem with a fic of that plotline but, if done well, I think such a fic could be both moving and scary. And I don't mean that in an "Oh, that's so sweet" way, but in an "Oh my god, I want to cry, John you bastard" kind of way.rn
rnThank you for your review, and I'm sorry if I didn't quite get what you were saying right - like I said, it through me for a loop, and for a few minutes I was just thinking "What in the world?" If you'd like to email me ( fluffydemonkitty@aim.com ) please feel free, although I don't promise to be prompt (I've got a lot of schoolwork this semester, along with my job). It sounds like you would be a wonderful person to talk to just to make certain I'm getting across what I would like to and not just what I think I am. Please remember that these fics are still undergoing changes - and probably will for quite some time. I never really feel like a story I've written is finished, which doesn't necessarily mean I'll write more, but that I'll constantly be tweaking it to tell the story better. There's no moral lesson in these, good or bad, just an outlook on what might have been and what changes might be enough to effect someone's character. I think part of the reason why you might have issues with Rodney in this is that his "change" comes so early, but I'm not sure.rn
rnI'll stop rambling now. If you'd like to email me, feel free; if I don't respond try again with the name of the fic in the subject line - sometimes it goes to spam.
Chapter 33
Reviewer: Saharra Shadow (Signed)
07 Sep 2009 6:01 am
I love this series! It's amazing and wonderful. I just read it in one sitting. It was the perfect activity for the day. Thank you so much and I'm really looking forward to the next story.
Chapter 33
Reviewer: Stormraven (Signed)
24 Aug 2009 1:33 am
Just got through reading your wonderful fic! Great read, had a lot of fun, interesting premise (shape-shifting) and can hardly wait for you to really get into writing the next fic in the series. Also, you know SyFy (*snerk* something nasty in Polish) is running syndication of all the seasons of SG:A in the afternoon?
Chapter 33
Reviewer: Haruka83 (Anonymous)
19 Apr 2009 5:32 pm
fantastic story, i hope you write a sequel
=^-^=
Chapter 1
Reviewer: Kit (Anonymous)
06 Apr 2009 9:33 pm
Great story. Are you goin to write a sequel?
Chapter 33
Reviewer: korilian (Anonymous)
09 Dec 2008 3:07 pm
Cool. There could clearly be more of this (Atlantis!) and I hope there will be someday. Great story.
Chapter 33
Reviewer: Lee (Anonymous)
22 Sep 2008 7:02 am
This fic is awesome. Love the characterizations. A definate favorite.
Chapter 33
Reviewer: Mystic (Signed)
17 Sep 2008 7:24 pm
I so hope there will be more of this wonderful story. You left it with them 'thinking' it might be love, but I so wish to see that bond expand, the bond known to be among wolfs and I'd love to see more of the universe w/ the boys in general. I really enjoyed it.
Chapter 33
Reviewer: Akuma (Anonymous)
14 Sep 2008 12:56 am
I sure hope there's more in the future. LOVE this AU - !!!
Chapter 33
Reviewer: B_C (Anonymous)
14 Sep 2008 12:32 am
A good ending but I am sorry for that too. :)
Chapter 33
Reviewer: Fenchurch (Signed)
13 Sep 2008 12:52 pm
I have really enjoyed all of this - I've been checking periodically to see if you had updated and YAY you did! Your Rodney is so exactly like canon Rodney - brash, unsure, terrible with people and yet gooey in the middle and John makes a great dominant male! Thank you for all your work on this and I have no objection if you fancy writing more!
Chapter 33
Reviewer: sgakaz (Signed)
13 Sep 2008 2:45 am
"Mostly, though, it's because I want to be with you – wherever you are, and whatever it is you decide to do with your life."

"You can't be with me on a military base, especially not when you're in the military," Rodney pointed out crossly.

John's eyes gleamed for a moment as he pulled Rodney close and met the pouting mouth in a harsh and fierce kiss. Pulling away, he whispered: "Just let them try to stop me."
Sweet! One day I hope you'll write them going to Atlantis and with Weir's pack.
Chapter 33
Reviewer: velvet_mace (Signed)
10 Sep 2008 5:17 am
I'm a sucker for miscommunication. And I love this uncertain!Rodney, protective!John dynamic.
Chapter 1
Reviewer: bridgie0202 (Signed)
05 Sep 2008 11:01 pm
ahh...this just keeps getting better!! keep going whenever you have time. we'll keep reading!! :-D
Chapter 32
Reviewer: Mystic (Signed)
05 Sep 2008 6:13 am
It seems way too short to be so close to the end. I hope you make a nice long ending for such a wonderful universe. Perhaps you'll consider letting others play in it as it is really truely marvelous.
Chapter 32
Reviewer: ladyholder (Signed)
05 Sep 2008 12:37 am
Uhmmm... Chapter 32 as it currently is, is the same as chapter 31... Oops?

Author's Response: oops. sorry. Only the first half is; the second half is the new part. I accidentally copied both, it seems. ^^; *goes to fix*
Chapter 32
Reviewer: sgakaz (Signed)
05 Sep 2008 12:20 am
So sad about Ford and thankful the rest of the pack have recovered.

What about a real bed?" Rodney whined.

"Tomorrow, Rodney," John answered, pulling the other man down with him as he laid back on the air mattress. "Promise." So are we in for some werewolfy loving *fingers crossed*:)
Chapter 32
Reviewer: crystalball (Anonymous)
04 Sep 2008 11:20 pm
Yay! It's wonderful! This made my day!
Chapter 32
Reviewer: B_C (Anonymous)
04 Sep 2008 11:10 pm
Excellent addition to the chapter. :)
Chapter 32