Reviews For Broken Pieces

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Reviewer: Syl (Signed)
07 Jul 2010 4:12 pm
This is the kind of story that shows us that romance plots can work, if handled as delicately as you have. Your characterizations are well done and the plot flows nicely (with the insertion into canon being quite plausible). I think it works so well in fact that I would love to see a sequel--although, you should probably leave it where it is, for how can you improve on "happily ever after"? Thank you for a beautiful love story.

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I love being able to twist little canon points in where I can (lol boy do I make myself nuts with timelines sometimes!). I have an idea for a short sequel, more of an extended epilogue, but we'll see. I really did write this as a one-shot! Thanks for the feedback!
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Reviewer: Amy (Anonymous)
06 Aug 2009 11:55 am
I really enjoyed this unlikely pairing.

I have to agree with one of your previous reviewers however - not telling Rodney was pretty awful and I felt it detracted from the story. It kind of made John and Jeannie out to be rather foolish, not to mention a tad selfish, whatever their "good reasons" which I'm sure wasn't your intention. Seriously, he is the best friend and brother of the couple. While he is still clearly trying to rebuild his relationship with Jeannie from a galaxy away, he both works with John closely every day and socialises with him a lot. While I'm sure he wouldn't resent them getting together, I *am* certain he would have felt far more hurt at the blatant deception from the two people he probably trusts most in the world, especially as it was clearly long term concealment rather than just until they could get the time to tell him together. I can't help thinking that John and Jeannie would have been more than aware of this and would have acted accordingly. You seem to imply that Rodney will slowly come around to the idea of John and Jeannie being married - I think he would be fine with it, even pleased (after getting over the suprise), but the complete deception? That would be very difficult to forgive. And he would be entirely justified. To have him start organizing bachelor parties is laughable. Considering a most (if not all) of the Jeannie episodes on the show are about Rodney rejoining his family after all these years, the lines "She looked to John for approval. And it was in that moment Rodney realized that John wasn't just married to his sister, John had also gained a step-daughter in the deal and was now a father. And the three of them were a family. A real family", and
"a second blue line can appear on a test stick to make a family of three unexpectedly become a family of four" were particularly dismissive of Rodney.

Even if you don't buy into the "John and Rodney are actually pretty good friends" thing, given Johns canon characterisation I can't see him damaging a member of his teams trust even in such a personal matter such as this (to be clear I'm talking about the lying, not the marrige). Jeannie has just got her brother back after all these years - I don't think she would shut him out like this herself, nor allow John to do it. Imagine how canon Jeannie would react if Rodney secretly
married her best friend and didn't tell her for whatever "good"reason. Would she be understanding? I highly
doubt it. The undermining of Rodneys position (with Madison, at the SGC) was subtle but definately noticable.

Of course it's not all about Rodney but when something like this happens it complicates matters. Completely secret
romance may be fun in a Harlequin kind of way, but considering the better than average writing here, it seemed out
of character for John and Jeannie not to tell him even if they didn't tell anyone else. I don't point this out from a "oh my god, don't be mean to Rodney!" stand, but rather as a plot point that warped the believability of the characters and situation. SGA can be crazy at times, both in the show itself and in the fandom that surrounds it, but for a fic to really work the characters need to be true to their own internal logic. Whether it's straight up gen, rare pairings such as this, the ever present McShep, or an AU where everyone is a seagull, out of character is out of character.

If handled more realistically it would have changed the story from merely "quite good in a romance novel way" to an very good piece of writing. There are far worse depictions of the characters out there but as they are usually accompanied by far worse writing, the discrepencies are just one part of the mess.

I can't see the pairing ever happening on the show, but the fun of fan fiction is to speculate.

Author's Response: Thank you for taking the time to con-crit this. I guess one of the things that I don't interpret from canon/fanon is the supposed "close" relationship that magically appeared between Jeannie and Rodney after her first visit to Atlantis. When I wrote this, I included my own sense of a distance still between them, personally I don't see them really mending fences until *after* "Miller's Crossing" which is where this fic ends. As far as the "family" aspect- Rodney in canon is always "I have a sister" but is very dismissive of her husband and child, ie her "family". So yes, while Jeannie is his sister, and technically family to him, I don't think he really gets the concept of "having" a family. The John-Rodney dynamic is also something I tend to interpret a little differently. Yes, they're friends, but John by nature isn't a sharer, not with Rodney, and not really with anyone else for that matter. So the idea that John would be in a long distance friendship/relationship with someone and not tell anyone (regardless that it's Rodney's sister) wouldn't surprise me. Rodney's dismissiveness of Jeannie's choices and her family (ie Kaleb & Madison) is what influenced me to not have them tell Rodney right away that they got married. Their marriage was important to John and Jeannie and maybe they just didn't want to deal with him further belittling her choices. I guess overall I don't interpret John-Rodney or Rodney-Jeannie's dynamics the same way as others do and I wrote this fic according to my own interpretation. I'm glad you enjoyed the pairing, and again I appreciate the feedback! :)
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Reviewer: joey (Signed)
24 May 2009 11:24 am
This was very lovely. Are you going to write a sequel to this, please

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it! I don't really know about a sequel- it was supposed to be a one-shot, but we'll see :)
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Reviewer: Emma (Signed)
15 Apr 2009 4:19 am
This is a very sweet story. I love the pairing of Sheppard and Jeanie Miller second after McShep.

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it! Can you just picture Mckay's hands when he found out? *grin* Thanks for the feedback!
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Reviewer: Galaxy Song (Anonymous)
14 Apr 2009 2:50 pm
I really enjoyed this fic John/Jeannie make a sweet couple but as a big man of Rodney I did feel a bit sorry for him. His best friend and sister go of and get married and don't bother telling them until they don't have a choice. Still good fic

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! I can see John's point in not wanting to wait, his job *is* dangerous and this way Jeanie and Madison would have his benefits if something happened. And they really did plan on telling Rodney- they were just waiting until they could both be together with him to tell him in person. But then... well you know the rest ;) Thanks for the feedback!
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Reviewer: Emmie (Anonymous)
14 Apr 2009 3:48 am
I absolutely loved this fic. The relationship between John and Jeannie progressed appropriately. I haven't seen this pairing before, and you wrote it wonderfully. I know this may be as far as you intended to take the story, but I would love to see more -- especially the new baby, and maybe a future where Jeannie and Madison (and baby) join John on Atlantis.

Author's Response: Thanks! I did write it as a one-shot but I've learned to never say never :) Thanks for the feedback!
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Reviewer: encchick (Signed)
12 Apr 2009 10:09 pm
Thanks for this one! I Love John/Jeannie stories, and this was really quite lovely. I'm glad I found it. :D

Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed it! I love the idea of John/Jeannie so much and there just is not enough of it out there!
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Reviewer: KateCayce (Signed)
12 Apr 2009 9:34 pm
Awesome story! You can't leave us hanging!

Author's Response: Thanks! I really did write this as a one-shot, but I do have a little tiny bunny for a sequel living in my "to write" folder. Maybe after NaNoWriMo this year :)
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