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Reviewer: ldarkphoenix (Signed)
26 Feb 2013 11:42 pm
I know this is soooooo very long after the story was written, but damn do I wish there had been a sequel to this.

Excellent fic!
Reviewer: Hollow Echos (Anonymous)
18 Apr 2010 11:25 am
What a great story! Thanks for sharing, I love post-Arcturus fics, and the way you wove this plot line around it was flawless.
Reviewer: Juniperbreezie (Anonymous)
24 May 2009 11:33 pm
Really good story.
Reviewer: Cae (Anonymous)
09 Sep 2008 8:11 pm
That was so damn beautiful and heart-breaking and ultimately hopeful and just so bloody well-written.
I love the way you dealt with his situation realistically and the quotes were a fantastic addition.

This is one of those fics you just want to bask in for a while.
Reviewer: darkmuadib (Anonymous)
10 Jun 2008 10:49 pm
This was a good fic... I loved how this fic went beyond just the post trinity confines and went into an examination of rape and abuse, and the psychology of the victim, being trapped in his/her bubble of shame. And I loved how the fic was separated in stages with poignant quotes. The writing was great. And the ending was good too. How there wasn't that "healing sex" that bring everything back to the way it was.

However, for me, two significant things detracted from this.
1) The explanation for why rodney had allowed him to suffer for two years for food. The event of the explosion of the Daedalus should have been mentioned much earlier in the fic then rather at the end as a side note. It confounded me why the food was that important.

Even with that, I felt that Rodney would have tried to tell more than just John, but Elizabeth, Carson, others if he tried to tell John about it after the first rape. Wrote a letter, send an email... so it would have been nice to see mention that each of his attempts would be shut down. Especially if the reader knew that food was a priority since the Daedelus was out of commission.

2) I feel a lot of post-Trinity fics suffer from this, Rodney forgave John (and I am assuming others since it was not mentioned at all) too easily and too quickly. Even if the timeline was not short between finding out and forgiveness, I was unsatisfied. With all that happened I would imagine that Rodney would not be as forgiving. I felt that Teyla's statement that "it is not you who need to take on the blame. There is no one in Atlantis who can do that", was glossing over the situation and everyone's complicity in allowing the situation to happen. If people didn't hold onto their anger for so long and allow Rodney to come into their fold, and for one sec show some concern, he would have been able to if not enter the rape situation, at least get out of it sooner.

Maybe its a visceral thing, maybe I am just the type of person to hold grudges...but considering what went on, raping for TWO years for food that they could have gotten through another alliance, and the lack of support Rodney had, even through the therapy after his ordeal, allowing him to come to terms with the situation, it felt that John and others got off too easy. John and the others in my mind did not work hard enough to merit the forgiveness that Rodney doled out. From John's perspective, while there was mention of his guilt, I did not feel there was much depth to that guilt and the magnitude of his complicity in it(real and imagined), did not come across.

Mentally keeping hold of anger and holding grudges isn't healthy, but on a visceral level, it shouldn't be that easy to just let go and forgive.

If that section of the story was expanded where we as the reader see the numerous times John did try to make it up to Rodney, and see the angst from John trying his damnedest, then it would feel forgiveness is deserved.

It was a nice story, but I think if those two issues above were addressed this could have been a great story.
So great concept, great writing style, but the follow through should be developed a bit more. I am sorry if I am being a bit blunt but I figure its best you know what I believe is lacking to make this a great story.
Reviewer: darsynia (Signed)
23 May 2008 1:11 am
A painful but rewarding read! I really appreciate that you didn't end it with 'healing sex' or something that would have cheapened the entire story.
Reviewer: Amanda Beckett (Signed)
27 Jan 2008 5:30 am
.......You've left me speechless. I think I cried at least five times during this story. I don't think i've ever read a fic or story that has had me feeling as if it had happened to someone close to me, you made them feel real and it was sad yes but it was touching and just so beautiful.....I can't think of anything more to say. You are an amazing writer, good work.
Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous)
25 Sep 2007 1:21 pm
I love the story. It is hearbreaking that Rodney felt he had to endure all of the abuse. However, I have two little nit-picky things. I don't think the abuse would have gone on over two years, because of annual physicals and I don't care how adept at ducking Rodney had become, Carson would have nailed him on that. The other had with Sheppards speech to his men about rumor and gossip. He referred to Rodney with his first name, in address of that sort to his subordinants, he would have used Rodney's correct title: Dr. McKay. Other than those two little niggling points, this story rocked.
Reviewer: Cassima (Anonymous)
27 Aug 2007 9:11 pm
I come back to this fic a lot--it's dark and painful and twisted, and I love the characterizations, but it's really the imperfect ending that's a big draw. It's bittersweet and perfect in its imperfection, and it always leaves me torn in the heart. Sometimes, you just need a little heartache to get you through the day.

Excellent fic.
Reviewer: Korilian (Anonymous)
27 Jun 2007 9:32 am
Oh boys. You are so far from fine, fine is in another galaxy. But I have faith that... no wait, Rodney's pretty much screwed up for life. Nicely done. Please don't end it here.

Author's Response: Thank you. I've been trying to work on something to continue this but life got pretty heady for a long time. I'll see about finishing it. :) Thank you again.
Reviewer: margie (Anonymous)
23 Nov 2006 2:10 am
oh god. poor rodney. i think you did a really nice job with rodney's internal thoughts. the angst was definitely believable. nicely done.

Author's Response: Thank you. I always strive to make the story be believeable so I'm happy to hear it came out well.
Reviewer: adafrog (Anonymous)
22 Nov 2006 8:00 pm
Oh man, I still hate this story because I still makes me cry like a baby. Well done.

Author's Response: Thank you. *hugs*
Reviewer: CJ (Anonymous)
17 Sep 2006 6:18 am
Very beautiful, very heartbreaking. I cried, I laughed, and I loved every moment of reading this. Thank you.

Author's Response: Thank you. I loved writing every moment of this.
Reviewer: duff (Anonymous)
14 Jun 2006 9:51 pm
Beautifully written story! You made me cry for alot of this story, which is very unusual for me. I think you ended in the perfect place. Realistically it would take time and work to fix a friendship, much moreso in a relationship based on love & trust. Rodney's fragile self-worth, shattered by the people he cared most about abandoning him emotionally, was one of the most heartbreaking things I have read. That John (and Rodney's other friends) realize what they did so carelessly had such huge & detrimental consequences and are willing to take responsibility and work very hard to mend relationships/friendships is so much more satisfying than any quick fix. Thank you for sharing your talent. I'm off to read more of your work.

Author's Response: Thank you. Nothing makes me happier than when someone can see the depth of a situation and enjoy it. Thank you again.
Reviewer: brandinsbabe (Signed)
19 May 2006 4:00 pm
this was fantastic. it was so very sad but written so wonderfully. and i really loved the quotes inbetwen each part. it added a nice touch to the story.

Author's Response: Thank you.
Reviewer: ames (Signed)
29 Mar 2006 10:43 am
When he was sixteen, he realized outgoing was good -- in moderation and not outside a club where gay men were known to frequent. Wow, that's kind of offensive. Hanging outside gay clubs being outgoing automatically leads to rape? I don't think so - there are other less offensive ways to write that, you know. Instead of "where gay men frequent" you could have said that he was raped by one man, or a few - but the way it's written, it comes across as "hang around outside gay bars, get raped".
Reviewer: adafrog (Anonymous)
25 Mar 2006 1:04 am
Wow, what an impactful story. Very well done. Made me cry. A lot. Thanks. (I think.)

Author's Response: Thank you. :)
Reviewer: Tonia Barone (Signed)
24 Mar 2006 11:34 pm
Fuck. Damn. Whoa. Awesome fic. I mean. Wow. Damn. So emotional. So...wow. Rodney's pain...wow. Thank you so much for sharing this!

Author's Response: And thank you for reviewing! I'm glad you liked it. This is one of my favorite fics and I'm happy to hear that even months after I posted it, it's still well recieved. :)
Reviewer: miscbills (Anonymous)
04 Jan 2006 7:26 am
That was so sad for Rodney to suffer, but I am glad he will be okay and John did suffer some guilt but stood up for him once he find out from Bates what was happening. Plus I am glad John stood by Rodney side to help him recover. Great story, had me hook from beginning to end.

Author's Response: Thank you. Glad to hear that it brought you in and that you liked it. Secrets was definitely the story where I wanted a little bit of guilt on John's part and to stand with Rodney instead of abandon him. Thank you again.
Reviewer: Krysalys (Signed)
03 Jan 2006 10:48 pm
I never tire of reading this supremely saddening and yet heartening story. Exquisitely written, and it never fails to wrench my heart and soul. ----}-@ Krys

Author's Response: Thank you. It's glad to hear that it effects you the way I wanted it to affect people. :) Thanks again, Krys.
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