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Reviews For Beautiful Disaster

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Reviewer: Bana (Anonymous)
29 Jun 2007 1:13 am
Adorable!
Fifteen - Tag
Reviewer: Buggin3 (Anonymous)
11 Sep 2006 5:36 pm
Thank you so much for such a wonderful story. She's every woman and I like that Ronon saw her when others didn't. I know I have felt invisible some days. Thanks again for a fantastic story!
Fifteen - Tag
Reviewer: kribby (Anonymous)
09 Sep 2006 8:11 am
Well done! Very good! I gotta admit, I don't agree with your supposition that 'rough sex' or minor bondage should be reserved for casual sexual encounters. Though with the way you set up the story-- Ronon is supposed to be the primative-- the exotic. Perhaps the women from earth found that attractive-- or a fantasy. I honestly believe such sexual behaviors best work in a long term relationship where you have trust. In such a relationship you can fulfull your inner desires-- because you trust your partner implicitely. But that's just my opinion. It is also odd that Ronon and Sheppard were allowed to screw their way through the women of Atlantis... you do know their are non-fraternization rules... (though I haven't a clue what they are...) Radner-- do you mean Radek Zelenka? Have you answered the question why I was so clumsy in high school? :) thanks for sharing!
Fifteen - Tag
Reviewer: kribby (Anonymous)
09 Sep 2006 7:58 am
Oh! What a well written loving sex scene...
Fourteen
Reviewer: kribby (Anonymous)
09 Sep 2006 7:49 am
this woman's self esteem issues are irritating. I dont' think I have read such a story like this (and i read a lot) I bet writers don't explore this theme because it is gag inducing. Your last chapter was quite well written. It is obvious that as you continued the story your writing improved. great job.
Thirteen
Reviewer: kribby (Anonymous)
09 Sep 2006 7:39 am
You continue to do this weird tense shift thing--- in this chapter (the first paragraph) you write * He doesnt' under... * Or something like that. Stories are always told in the past tense (it is just a rule) so it should be * he didn't... * good job on this chapter
Nine
Reviewer: kribby (Anonymous)
09 Sep 2006 7:34 am
that was cute and believable chapter. I could totally see Ronon doing something like that. nice work.
Seven
Reviewer: kribby (Anonymous)
09 Sep 2006 7:31 am
Um. funny chapter-- but not true to sg-a not believable. funny though
Five
Reviewer: kribby (Anonymous)
09 Sep 2006 7:27 am
Hi, The last chapter was necessary because of the previous events... but it seems a little immature. Definitely not believable for SGA.
Four
Reviewer: Kribby (Anonymous)
09 Sep 2006 7:18 am
ronon's love interest is still a little flat of a character. You have an opportunity to develop her a bit more. Get into her character by using indirect characterization. Ronon is staring at her in the mess hall or whatever-- have him describe her face-- 'unveil her'
Three
Reviewer: kribby (Anonymous)
09 Sep 2006 7:16 am
Hi, I think this chapter is a little over the top-- One disaster incident would be enough-- then you should expand on that incident and tell the full story. She shouldn't cut her hair -- 'cause Ronon likes it-- and that is a little extreme. she should instead wear it up and give Ronon the joy of letting it down. dont' consider this a flame-- constructive criticism from a geeky high school English teacher...
Reviewer: kribby (Anonymous)
09 Sep 2006 7:08 am
nice romance novel setup.
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