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Reviewer: Rexy48 (Anonymous)
25 May 2007 2:24 am
Wow, really good story! Those people gave me the creeps from the beginning, a whole world of 'suits'? Just goes to show you should always listen to McKay.
Chapter Seven
Reviewer: Silverthreads (Anonymous)
26 Nov 2006 7:53 am
I love your writing. You always leave me with more questions. Like, how did the stargate get square in the first place? How did everything change so quickly at the end? Was it the "others" Josiah alluded to? I bet the gunshot was not so much a gunshot but a different sort of bang. Of course now the kid has to go through puberty all over again. Are there other children? Are they all just the same people repeated? Ohmygosh! The possibilities are endless! Does that mean more stories will descend from this one? Wow.

Author's Response: I'm thinking about it. Seems I opened up more cans of worms than I knew what to do with while writing this. I sort of intrigued myself. LOL! Thanks so much for the detailed responses! Darn those typos, I really did try to catch them. Sometimes the mind shows the word as you want it to be, and the typo slides by. Oh well. Thank you again!
Chapter Seven
Reviewer: Silverthreads (Anonymous)
26 Nov 2006 7:41 am
Whoa, a tonne of revelations in this chapter! Apparently they are wharehousing weapons that are as much people as machine? Gruesome, especially for Teyla who probably would not have read science fiction and never been exposed to the idea. Banneth and Rodney... How did Banneth fake what he was doing to Rodney with all his assistants on hand? And he is "not alone?" Meaning others have not yet lost their humanity. Very nicely complex!
Chapter Six
Reviewer: Silverthreads (Anonymous)
26 Nov 2006 7:22 am
Great chapter! Was encountering Banneth a set up for Rodney? Apparently, though, at least Banneth still has the internal fire that makes him want to create something of art. And who made the earrings that the chief Legit wore? Ah, I bet they are artifacts left over from earlier times - the room's decor as well, I suspect. Fascinating details here.
Chapter Five
Reviewer: Silverthreads (Anonymous)
26 Nov 2006 7:04 am
So rodney has something they want (as well as aspects that they wouldn't be interested in such as his passion but I guess if they know what gene expresses that they could avoid it). On the other hand, are his assumptions that he will get something back (long life, etc) valid? They could just take what they want of his DNA and give nothing back in return, He'd be unchanged.
Chapter Four
Reviewer: Silverthreads (Anonymous)
26 Nov 2006 6:47 am
I like how Rodney seems to have two conflicting views; the first, that the society is wonderfully efficient and productive and the second, that they are lacking in something of passion and art. They are to be admired on the one hand yet are "freaky" if not downright frightening on the other. Several spelling errors in the chapters but the story is so compelling I can ignore tham and insert mental corrections (eg, later when you meant latter). Excellent piece.
Chapter Three
Reviewer: Silverthreads (Anonymous)
26 Nov 2006 6:27 am
Most intriguing development here. though, in a world of blacks and greys and no personal expression I do wonder where Josiah obtained his paints and canvases. Is there an underworld we know nothing about?
Chapter Two
Reviewer: Silverthreads (Anonymous)
26 Nov 2006 6:06 am
Excellent visuals, dialogue, set up of the story. I especially enjoy your use of the Tao te Ching at the start of the chapter. You use a slightly different version from mine, but it's similar enough.

Author's Response: Thank you! I prefer Stephen Mitchell's interpretation, I've worn out that little brown book. Which do you use?
chapter one
Reviewer: ankhmutes (Anonymous)
25 Nov 2006 10:11 pm
Stunning work! It is thought-provoking on several levels, deep and intense. You can see the reflections of our world in the one they visit and that is what makes it truly horrifying. And I love the idea of Rodney painting. Excellent!
chapter one
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