Spoiler: minor spoilers for "Duet" (02x04)
Type: kink, ER, humor, PWP, slightly AU
Thanks to my beta salsatiable!
Releasing a pleased sigh, Carson rolled onto his side and snuggled closer to Rodney, draping his arm across his naked lover's sweat-soaked chest.
He loved these amorous tête-à-têtes in the afternoons, in between endless meetings and boring work in the lab. Having to sit in the same room with Rodney - unable to touch him - was starting to wear down the limits of his self restraint. They had both had busy schedules for the last few weeks and seldom returned to their quarters at the same time or were simply too tired for sex when they finally fell into bed together.
So they seized every opportunity to get at it, as Carson secretly refered to it: "like hormone crazed teenagers". Most of the times the furthest they'd managed to get from the briefing room was to his or Rodney's lab.
But today he'd insisted they go to his quarters. A comfortable bed, time to get undressed and much naked skin - instead of a hectic intermezzo with only their hands in each other's pants, pressed against his lab desk or the wall, which - at least for one of them - ended rather unsatisfyingly, because there was always the danger of someone rushing in or when someone called on the radio to demand his or Rodney's immediate attention to fix a problem.
There was something about a closed door behind which you could do as you pleased. To rip off each other's uniforms and - even more importantly: their radios - exchanging passionate kisses and finally falling into each other's arms on the bed.
Rodney kissed his chest and untangled from his embrace. "As much as I hate to, I have to leave this bed without delivering the promised encore..." He rose with an almost graceful motion and threw Carson a lusty gaze. "But before I'm able to show up in my lab, I need to use your shower. You really made me," he lowered his head and brushed his lips across Carson's chest, "...sweat." He bit Carson's nipple, but before the physician had the chance to grab his lover by the shoulders, he rose from the bed and disappeared into the bathroom.
Lost in thought, Carson stared after him and brushed his hand across his belly. Was there anything better to do during a late afternoon break? He still felt Rodney's touches on his body, his lover's sweat and semen on his skin.
If someone had told him three months ago that Rodney was a passionate lover he might have believed it. But who'd have thought that the cynical and at times apparently unskillful scientist was when in bed not at all cynical and unskillful but rather tender and completely focused upon his partner's pleasure and satisfaction?
With a smile on his lips, Carson slid his fingers through the warm, sticky, wet spot below his belly button. And always willing to try something new, he added in thoughts.
"Are you trying to kill me?" He suddenly heard Rodney screech in panic from inside the bathroom.
Naked feet tapped across the floor. One hand akimbo and the other carrying a washcloth, Rodney stood by the door, throwing killing looks from sparkling eyes at Carson. "Would you please care to explain what exactly this is?"
Carson frowned and sat up. "What's what?"
"What does this look like?" Rodney tilted his head to the side and presented him what he held in his hand.
"Looks like a piece of soap to me. A normal piece of soap," Carson replied, confused. "Why?"
"Why?" Rodney monkeyed him, rolling his eyes. "This is anything but a simple piece of soap! This piece of soap could cause my death!"
Carefully eyeing his raging lover, Carson asked: "Did you slip on it and hurt yourself?"
"No, I didn't!" Rodney exclaimed and stepped up to the bed, putting the piece of soap he carefully held with the cloth directly under Carson's nose. "Do you notice anything about this piece of soap? Hm?"
Carson reached for the washingcloth and sniffed. "Lemon. This is standard soap. I just put it in the shower yesterday. I like the smell of lemon."
"Lemon! Correct!" Rodney pointed his finger at Carson. "In case it hasn't come to your attention, being my attending physician and all: I have a deadly lemon allergy!" He made a pause and threw a punishing gaze at his lover.
"No, you don't." Carson contradicted calmly and put the washing cloth back into Rodney's hand.
"One single drop of citric acid is enough to give me an anaphylactic shock - I... What? I don't?" Confused, he stared at Carson.
"No," Carson affirmed with a small grin. "You're not."
Rodney stopped dead in his tracks for a moment, then he put his hand on his side and gasped. "And how can you suddenly be so sure about this? Did you perform some voodoo ritual or..." He gestured wildly with the washing cloth.
"No, I performed an..." Carson hesitated for a moment. "... allergy test."
"Ah. An allergy test." Rodney snorted and critically eyed the physician. "Shouldn't I have noticed anything about this allergy test?"
The big grin that showed up on Carson's face suddenly made him shiver.
"Rodney, you have to trust me. I can tell you for sure - you have and you are quite many things" Carson got up and put his hands on Rodney's shoulders. "And one day you even may die. But the cause won't be your lemon - or to be more precise: your citric acid allergy. You can very well use this to soap up under the spray."
Rodney held Carson's gaze then looked down to the washing cloth in his hand.
"But... but how do you know?"
Carson smiled and kissed him. "Well, if you really need to know... You know what's in human semen? It's the fluid and the spermatozoa. It's a little salty and contains proteins..."
Rodney pulled a face. "Why did I get involved with you at all?"
"Amongst other things it also contains citric ions, that's the salt of the citric acid."
"Carson, do you know..." Rodney's face filled with colour and he gasped. "The first time I... Couldn't you have told me before I put your dick in my mouth and...? Oh my god, I'm..." Flailing his arms about he started pacing in front of the bed, angrily murmuring to himself.
"I must have been crazy to get involved with a physician. Ha!" At this point he threw Carson, who eyed him silently, a nasty look. "A charlatan! I'm gonna die because of..." With a theatrical gesture he put his hands in front of his face and lowered his voice to a dramatic whisper: "... a mouthful of semen!"
Carson stepped into Rodney's way and put his hands on the scientist's shoulders. "Rodney, trust me, you're not going to die because of one mouthful of sperm."
Rodney slowly pulled his hands from his face and icily glared at is lover for a moment, then his face lit up a little bit. "I won't?" He asked sceptically.
"You're really sure about this?"
"Yes, Rodney," Carson told him determinedly. "I am. Do you really think that I hadn't performed an actual allergy test before I put your life at risk - and with this pauperise two galaxies from one genius?" He winked at his friend and softly kissed him on the mouth.
Rodney frowned and obviously seemed to consider the question.
Carson started to explain, "Shortly after the incident with the Wraith-teleporting device when you collapsed and were brought to the infirmary..."
"Did you...? I was unconscious and helpless..." Rodney flared up. "You didn't! Did you?"
Carson nodded. "I did an allergy test. First I took a sample of your blood and then I did another test to make sure, because I know you." Lovingly, he looked at Rodney. "You'd never agree to it, but Elizabeth insisted that I performed a series of tests and..."
Rodney raised his hand to stop Carson's explanation. "She did what?"
Carson released a deep sigh and decided to cut the discussion short. Placing his hands on Rodney's cheeks he leaned forward and passionately kissed him. He pushed his tongue deep into the other man's mouth and moaned when he tasted himself on Rodney's tongue. When he pulled away from the kiss, his lover looked at him with a blissful smile.
"Carson, I'm starting to enjoy our discussions more and more..." Rodney admitted with a cheeky grin and pulled Carson closer to bestow a kiss on him.
"If you delay your meeting with Dr Zelenka for an hour, I'll delay mine with Dr Heightmeyer," Carson panted breathlessly. That analogy with lustcrazed teenagers wasn't that far fetched, he thought. Fifteen minutes ago he'd been coming down Rodney's throat and after only two kisses his body was demanding more.
With a grin Rodney pushed Carson towards the bed. "You need a shrink to complain about your neurotic lover?"
"You've definitely got neurotic traits, Rodney, my dear, but as long as the sex continues to be so fantastic you won't find me complaining..." Carson dropped down onto the bed and pulled Rodney along with him.
He quickly reached for his radio to contact Dr Heightmeyer to delay their meeting.
"Dr Heightmeyer? I'm still tending to a patient and I'm afraid it'll take a little longer. I'm sorry but I'm going to be late for our meeting."
The moment Rodney slid next to him, he carelessly dropped the headset to the floor.
Propping himself up on his ellbow, Rodney reached for his own radio. He plugged it into his ear and tapped on it lightly. "McKay for Zelenka," he started and brushed his hand over Carson's hip.
Carson put his hand on Rodney's side and slowly slid it down towards his thighs, not breaking their eye contact.
"Listen Zelenka, I'm going to be a little late" Rodney explained and mirrored his lover's motions, sliding his hand gently between Carson's thighs. "Dr. Beckett just performed an allergy test on me. But you can't be too careful with this modern diagnostic technology, can't you? I demanded a repeat of the test, just to make sure." He slowly cupped Carson's penis.
Carson closed his eyes and bit his lower lip to suppress a moan. He was so glad that after the incident with the Wraith-Teleporter about two months ago he'd summoned all his bravery and seduced Rodney. To everybody else he still was the honourable Dr. Jeckyll-McKay and in their beds he was the sexually insatiable Rodney Hyde.
He didn't catch much of the rest of the explanation addressed at Zelenka because Rodney started to move his hand, slowly and steadily. But then his talented lover loosened his grip and upon opening his eyes Carson saw Rodney throwing the radio over his shoulder.
"Now, where were we?" Rodney asked with a smirk and started dropping feathery kisses on Carson's chin.
"A few years ago I read an article in the 'New Scientist' about a study done by Gordon Gallup," Carson moaned and wrapped his arms around Rodney's frame.
"Did you? Was it an interesting article?" Rodney asked conversationally and trailed little kisses towards Carson's neck while sliding his knee between his lovers thighs. "I guess it must have been, because otherwise you wouldn't have remembered it, right? What was this article about, anyway?"
"Clinical tests showing the anti-depressive effect of semen..."
Rodney raised his head and looked deeply into Carson's eyes. "I think this is the beginning of a wonderful satisfyingly friendship, Dr Beckett. So let's start the therapy immediately!"
Add: There actually was a study by Gordon Gallup from the New York State University, as refered to in the New Scientist in an issue from 26th of July in 2002. The article said, some ingredients of male sperm could actually have anti-depressive effect. And some people actually are allergic to sperm. But mostly because of the protein. (; Just in case you wonder I made these facts up. (;