Indulgence's Domain by ForCryinOutLoud [Reviews - 13]
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Category: Slash Pairings > McKay/Sheppard
Characters: John Sheppard, Rodney McKay
Rating: R
Genres: Angst, Character Study, Established Relationship
Warnings: Adult themes
Series: None
Word count: 1373; Completed: Yes
Summary: They're off-world the first time it happens.
__
They're off-world the first time it happens. Yet another alien ritual that has them buzzed off the local wine, the natives getting close and definitely friendly.
Rodney is being fawned over by their 'scientists' and he can practically see McKay making air quotes over that. But he's grinning drunkenly, and letting them praise him for his big fantastically brilliant brain and he's not watching the rest of the team at all.
So when A'isha with her soft curves and sweet laugh takes his hand, pulling him along, John goes without much thought.
Her hair is long and dark, curling seductively over her exposed breasts, her lips plump and red and parted just waiting for him to touch her. And he's missed this, the way she fits so perfectly against him, small and soft and willing and familiar. He kisses her mouth, trailing his lips down her satiny smooth skin to capture one of her tightened nipples between his teeth, biting gently and grinning at the way she arches into his touch.
When he's moving inside her, her slender legs wrapped around his waist, her eyes bright and pleasure glazed he presses his face into her neck, breathing in her sweet perfumed scent, moaning when she flutters around his cock, her orgasm pushing him into his own.
And when they pull apart, straightening clothes, and smiling awkwardly all he can picture is Rodney's crooked mouth, his bright blue eyes and all he feels is the overwhelming sensation of 'I fucked up'.
--
John and Rodney have been together for five months now and though he'd give up flying before he'd ever admit this to Rodney, John thinks he might be in love...just a little bit. Rodney's everything every one of his former lovers wasn't. He's loud and arrogant and pushy and demanding and when they're alone together he's still all those things but his edges are softened, his mouth quirking crookedly, eyes shining with amusement and exasperation and affection all for John. And that scares John more than Wraith or Genii or any of the other things he's seen in his life because John thinks maybe Rodney's a little bit in love with him too.
He knows he's never been good at relationships, never able to give the other person exactly what they want, everything that they demand, but with Rodney, there are no demands, no expectations. It's easy and that somehow feels wrong to John. It shouldn't be easy, experience has taught him that, if nothing else.
So the third time it happens he ignores the voice in his head screaming at him ignores the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, because he knows he shouldn't, knows, really, that he doesn't even want to. And yet he finds himself above another pretty face, cock buried in wet, welcoming heat, and he closes his eyes and tells himself this is the last time.
--
He's still with Rodney, still goes to him when the halls are empty and Atlantis keeps him safely hidden from censors. He slips inside Rodney's quarters, quickly yanking off his own clothes before crawling into bed beside his lover; curling around him, kissing him awake and begging Rodney to fuck him.
He wants it hard and rough, wants it to hurt—wants to be punished for fucking up something that means more to him than any other relationship he's ever been in. But Rodney never gives in to his begging, his demanding. Rodney is slow and gentle and strips John so bare he can't breathe before he finally slides inside and it's so good, so right that John has to bite his bottom lip, the coppery taste of blood in his mouth, to stop himself from saying all the things he wants to...all the things he can't. Because there are so many things John wants to say, so many things he wants to confess, beg forgiveness for but he knows he'd lose Rodney for good and he can't...he can't risk that by telling. So he keeps quiet, arches off the bed, wrapping arms and legs around Rodney and just hangs on.
--
It's months later when he says, "I was married once," out of the blue and he watches as Rodney's eyebrows rise in surprise because John Sheppard doesn't offer information about himself easily. They're in Rodney's quarters, after another shitty mission, and while normally they'd be naked now, John finds himself talking, Rodney sitting quietly, watching. He shrugs. "I wasn't very good at it."
He's standing at Rodney's window, leaning against the wall and watching the sun as it sets over the water. It's beautiful and home and..."I did something really stupid," he rasps because fuck this is harder than he thought it would be.
Rodney's sitting propped against his headboard, one leg bent, his arm wrapped around his knee. "Just one thing?" he asks with a grin, trying to lighten the mood and John wants to laugh, make up some story about accidentally breaking an Ancient gizmo, spilling Rodney's good coffee...anything but the truth.
Instead he takes a deep breath, eyes firmly fixed on the fading sun and says, "I cheated on you." He's terrified and sick and relieved all in one because god, god he couldn't keep lying to Rodney anymore, not about this.
There's silence from the bed and John dares a look, sees Rodney frowning, head tilted and he looks confused for a moment before he narrows his eyes. "I know," he says, shrugging and shifting on the bed so that both his knees are drawn up. "I've known for a while," he continues and John feels himself sliding down the wall, draws his own knees up and wraps his arms tightly around them, his heart pounding wildly in his chest.
Rodney quirks a half smile, his eyes staring at the foot of his bed. "I knew what I was getting into," he says quietly. "I never asked you for anything more, I never expected anything more."
John feels sick again because it sounds like Rodney is saying that this, what's between them was just... "It wasn't a buddy fuck," John says quickly, his voice strained because Jesus the last thing this was to John was some fling.
Rodney's nodding, propping his head on his knees. "I know," he says softly. "But we never made any promises to each other, John. We never said we'd be faithful and I don't really have the right to be upset over something that wasn't mine to start with. Your fidelity wasn't a given," he says seriously, turning to look John in the eye. "We never said we wouldn't see other people—I can't hold you to a promise never made."
Shaking his head John crawls over to the bed, stopping beside it, on his knees and staring at Rodney still feeling sick and scared and... "It was yours," he says fiercely because they might not have said it but that didn't make it any less true. "I was stupid and scared," John stutters, hands fisting the sheets as he tries to get this out, tries to make Rodney understand. But suddenly he can't think of anything else to say and he climbs onto the bed beside Rodney, tugs his arms away from his knees, buries his face in Rodney's neck, breathing him in and mumbles brokenly, "It is yours."
Rodney's arms wrap around him, pulling him closer and John hears him whispering, "Okay, okay," into his hair, against his temple.
And it's easy with Rodney. There still aren't any demands, still no expectations, just a promise that John holds close to his heart and he doesn't miss anything anymore because he has Rodney and that's all that matters.
- Text Size +
Category: Slash Pairings > McKay/Sheppard
Characters: John Sheppard, Rodney McKay
Rating: R
Genres: Angst, Character Study, Established Relationship
Warnings: Adult themes
Series: None
Word count: 1373; Completed: Yes
Summary: They're off-world the first time it happens.
__
They're off-world the first time it happens. Yet another alien ritual that has them buzzed off the local wine, the natives getting close and definitely friendly.
Rodney is being fawned over by their 'scientists' and he can practically see McKay making air quotes over that. But he's grinning drunkenly, and letting them praise him for his big fantastically brilliant brain and he's not watching the rest of the team at all.
So when A'isha with her soft curves and sweet laugh takes his hand, pulling him along, John goes without much thought.
Her hair is long and dark, curling seductively over her exposed breasts, her lips plump and red and parted just waiting for him to touch her. And he's missed this, the way she fits so perfectly against him, small and soft and willing and familiar. He kisses her mouth, trailing his lips down her satiny smooth skin to capture one of her tightened nipples between his teeth, biting gently and grinning at the way she arches into his touch.
When he's moving inside her, her slender legs wrapped around his waist, her eyes bright and pleasure glazed he presses his face into her neck, breathing in her sweet perfumed scent, moaning when she flutters around his cock, her orgasm pushing him into his own.
And when they pull apart, straightening clothes, and smiling awkwardly all he can picture is Rodney's crooked mouth, his bright blue eyes and all he feels is the overwhelming sensation of 'I fucked up'.
--
John and Rodney have been together for five months now and though he'd give up flying before he'd ever admit this to Rodney, John thinks he might be in love...just a little bit. Rodney's everything every one of his former lovers wasn't. He's loud and arrogant and pushy and demanding and when they're alone together he's still all those things but his edges are softened, his mouth quirking crookedly, eyes shining with amusement and exasperation and affection all for John. And that scares John more than Wraith or Genii or any of the other things he's seen in his life because John thinks maybe Rodney's a little bit in love with him too.
He knows he's never been good at relationships, never able to give the other person exactly what they want, everything that they demand, but with Rodney, there are no demands, no expectations. It's easy and that somehow feels wrong to John. It shouldn't be easy, experience has taught him that, if nothing else.
So the third time it happens he ignores the voice in his head screaming at him ignores the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, because he knows he shouldn't, knows, really, that he doesn't even want to. And yet he finds himself above another pretty face, cock buried in wet, welcoming heat, and he closes his eyes and tells himself this is the last time.
--
He's still with Rodney, still goes to him when the halls are empty and Atlantis keeps him safely hidden from censors. He slips inside Rodney's quarters, quickly yanking off his own clothes before crawling into bed beside his lover; curling around him, kissing him awake and begging Rodney to fuck him.
He wants it hard and rough, wants it to hurt—wants to be punished for fucking up something that means more to him than any other relationship he's ever been in. But Rodney never gives in to his begging, his demanding. Rodney is slow and gentle and strips John so bare he can't breathe before he finally slides inside and it's so good, so right that John has to bite his bottom lip, the coppery taste of blood in his mouth, to stop himself from saying all the things he wants to...all the things he can't. Because there are so many things John wants to say, so many things he wants to confess, beg forgiveness for but he knows he'd lose Rodney for good and he can't...he can't risk that by telling. So he keeps quiet, arches off the bed, wrapping arms and legs around Rodney and just hangs on.
--
It's months later when he says, "I was married once," out of the blue and he watches as Rodney's eyebrows rise in surprise because John Sheppard doesn't offer information about himself easily. They're in Rodney's quarters, after another shitty mission, and while normally they'd be naked now, John finds himself talking, Rodney sitting quietly, watching. He shrugs. "I wasn't very good at it."
He's standing at Rodney's window, leaning against the wall and watching the sun as it sets over the water. It's beautiful and home and..."I did something really stupid," he rasps because fuck this is harder than he thought it would be.
Rodney's sitting propped against his headboard, one leg bent, his arm wrapped around his knee. "Just one thing?" he asks with a grin, trying to lighten the mood and John wants to laugh, make up some story about accidentally breaking an Ancient gizmo, spilling Rodney's good coffee...anything but the truth.
Instead he takes a deep breath, eyes firmly fixed on the fading sun and says, "I cheated on you." He's terrified and sick and relieved all in one because god, god he couldn't keep lying to Rodney anymore, not about this.
There's silence from the bed and John dares a look, sees Rodney frowning, head tilted and he looks confused for a moment before he narrows his eyes. "I know," he says, shrugging and shifting on the bed so that both his knees are drawn up. "I've known for a while," he continues and John feels himself sliding down the wall, draws his own knees up and wraps his arms tightly around them, his heart pounding wildly in his chest.
Rodney quirks a half smile, his eyes staring at the foot of his bed. "I knew what I was getting into," he says quietly. "I never asked you for anything more, I never expected anything more."
John feels sick again because it sounds like Rodney is saying that this, what's between them was just... "It wasn't a buddy fuck," John says quickly, his voice strained because Jesus the last thing this was to John was some fling.
Rodney's nodding, propping his head on his knees. "I know," he says softly. "But we never made any promises to each other, John. We never said we'd be faithful and I don't really have the right to be upset over something that wasn't mine to start with. Your fidelity wasn't a given," he says seriously, turning to look John in the eye. "We never said we wouldn't see other people—I can't hold you to a promise never made."
Shaking his head John crawls over to the bed, stopping beside it, on his knees and staring at Rodney still feeling sick and scared and... "It was yours," he says fiercely because they might not have said it but that didn't make it any less true. "I was stupid and scared," John stutters, hands fisting the sheets as he tries to get this out, tries to make Rodney understand. But suddenly he can't think of anything else to say and he climbs onto the bed beside Rodney, tugs his arms away from his knees, buries his face in Rodney's neck, breathing him in and mumbles brokenly, "It is yours."
Rodney's arms wrap around him, pulling him closer and John hears him whispering, "Okay, okay," into his hair, against his temple.
And it's easy with Rodney. There still aren't any demands, still no expectations, just a promise that John holds close to his heart and he doesn't miss anything anymore because he has Rodney and that's all that matters.