Results May Vary by sabinelagrande [Reviews - 17]
Chapter or Story - Text Size +
Category: Threesomes and Moresomes > Strictly slash, Slash Pairings > McKay/Sheppard, Slash Pairings > McKay/Zelenka, Slash Pairings > Sheppard/Zelenka
Characters: Aiden Ford, Carson Beckett, John Sheppard, Radek Zelenka, Rodney McKay
Rating: NC-17
Genres: First Time, Humour, Pre-slash, PWP - Plot, What Plot?, Series
Warnings: Adult themes
Series: None
Word count: 4344; Completed: Yes
Summary: Four ways John, Rodney, and Radek got high (and together). Side effects may include euphoria, blackmail, dry mouth, confessions, headache, altered libido, irritability, and the ability to taste colors. Consult your doctor before use.
"You are so fuckin' cute," John tells him, rolling his head over on his shoulder at what looks, from where Radek is standing, to be an extremely uncomfortable angle.
"Thank you?" Radek answers, uncertainly.
None of them knew exactly what was in the tea that John and the high priest had consumed in the overly long ritual of welcoming- but the last time Radek had seen somebody look like that, they'd accidentally eaten half a pan of his sister's very special brownies.
To John's credit, he finished the trade negotiations, though declaring Atlantis and the people M3R-514 "best buds forever" was possibly a bit too exuberant. The effects of the cup they'd shared during the closing ceremonies, though, were enough to make Ford break things off with a smile and shuffle everybody back into the jumper.
"McKay!" John calls suddenly.
"Here!" Rodney yelps, despite himself, clutching at John's shoulder in surprise.
"There you are. This man," he explains to Radek, pointing at Rodney with an unsteady finger, "this man right here, he is my friend." John pronounces the words with all the gravitas of a skilled orator, a very serious look on his face.
"Yes, yes," Rodney says, looking rather embarrassed.
"He's not cute though. He's like, y'know, one of them things. With the claws." John draws his hands up to his chest, aping something with talons, and growls the most pitiful little growl Radek has ever heard.
"A T-Rex?" Rodney asks, in genuine confusion.
"Medvěd," Radek tries, not able to remember the English off the top of his head.
"Doesn't he sound so fuckin' cute when he says that?" John says to Rodney, in an extremely loud whisper, amid fits of giggling. "I wanna put him in my pants and take him home." He frowns. "That doesn't sound right. McKay, why do I sound stupid?"
"You've been drugged, Major," Rodney tells him. "We're taking you to see Carson now."
"It sucks," John says, passionately, his head flopping straight back. "Oh my god, how long have we been in a puddlejumper? Who in the fuck is driving?"
"We're two minutes out from the gate," Ford replies from the cockpit.
"Hey Ford!" John says cheerily, but Rodney and Radek both push him down when he tries to sit up. "When did you get here?"
"Please relax," Radek urges him, his hand still on John's chest. John rests his own hand on top of it, looking up at him for a moment before turning to Rodney.
"I like his hair," he explains. "It's all crazy, like, I dunno, like he doesn't really give a shit. Like he gets up in the morning, and he's like," and John puffs himself up slightly, but he doesn't put on the ridiculous accent everyone else does when trying to imitate him, "'Fuck my hair, I got science to do.'"
"Maybe he's sobering up," Rodney deadpans, above John's head.
"But it's really fuckin' cute. He's really fuckin' cute," he continues. "Pocket! That's what I meant. I wanna put him in my pocket. Don't tell him I said that."
"Dialing the gate," Ford says, and Radek is a little glad that John can't see it activate- otherwise, they'd have to sit here for twenty minutes so he could look at the pretty colors.
The med team Rodney's called for is waiting in the jumper bay, and John lets himself be maneuvered on to a stretcher without complaint.
"Carson!" John says emphatically. "Carson," he repeats, dropping his voice into a very serious whisper. "Carson, I am really high."
"I know, Major," Carson replies, examining his pupils. "Let's get you to the infirmary."
"Can I bring Dr. Zelenka?' John asks, sounding like he's asking about his teddy bear.
When Carson looks over at him, Radek throws up his hands and shrugs. "Of course, lad," Carson assures him. "He's right here, see?"
"Yay," John says, reaching for Radek's hand again. "He's so cute," he whispers to Carson.
To Rodney's credit, he waits until Carson decides John's in no danger before he goes out into the hallway and dies laughing.
--
To Radek's credit, he lets the matter lie for a whole week before saying anything. John comes out of his experience with the hangover of a lifetime, a new trading partner, and a complete inability to look Radek in the face- but, otherwise, unchanged.
Eventually though, even Radek's well-tested patience wears thin, and he goes down to John's quarters one night after dinner.
"Major?" he says to the closed door, in between persistent knocks. Radek is, as usual, defenseless against the Ancients- John could leave him in the hallway, and that would be the end of that- but the door hisses open, and Radek thinks that must mean something.
John is standing stiffly next to his bed, which takes up so much of the small room that they're already quite close, an uncharacteristic blush on his cheeks.
"We should talk, yes?" Radek says, smiling at how unexpectedly endearing it is.
"I apologize for anything I might have said the other day," John says, his posture straightening even more unnaturally, reciting the words- which don't sound anything like him- rather than actually meaning them. "I was given hallucinogens against my will. I am deeply sorry if I made you uncomfortable with any of my actions."
"Maybe is hallucination," Radek says, shrugging. "You thought Rodney was a dinosaur." He takes another step into John's space, but John doesn't back away. "Perhaps is not." John bites his lip when he realizes that denial is not working, but he still doesn't move.
"But if you really think I'm 'fuckin' cute'," he continues, and his atrociously fake American accent makes the other man laugh, despite himself, "then I would like to know."
John doesn't kiss at all like he'd imagined. He keeps things light and soft, letting Radek take the lead. When Radek takes his face in both hands, teasing his mouth open with his tongue, making it last, John moans, ever so softly, and Radek can feel him blushing furiously.
It's really fucking cute.
Chapter or Story - Text Size +
Category: Threesomes and Moresomes > Strictly slash, Slash Pairings > McKay/Sheppard, Slash Pairings > McKay/Zelenka, Slash Pairings > Sheppard/Zelenka
Characters: Aiden Ford, Carson Beckett, John Sheppard, Radek Zelenka, Rodney McKay
Rating: NC-17
Genres: First Time, Humour, Pre-slash, PWP - Plot, What Plot?, Series
Warnings: Adult themes
Series: None
Word count: 4344; Completed: Yes
Summary: Four ways John, Rodney, and Radek got high (and together). Side effects may include euphoria, blackmail, dry mouth, confessions, headache, altered libido, irritability, and the ability to taste colors. Consult your doctor before use.
"You are so fuckin' cute," John tells him, rolling his head over on his shoulder at what looks, from where Radek is standing, to be an extremely uncomfortable angle.
"Thank you?" Radek answers, uncertainly.
None of them knew exactly what was in the tea that John and the high priest had consumed in the overly long ritual of welcoming- but the last time Radek had seen somebody look like that, they'd accidentally eaten half a pan of his sister's very special brownies.
To John's credit, he finished the trade negotiations, though declaring Atlantis and the people M3R-514 "best buds forever" was possibly a bit too exuberant. The effects of the cup they'd shared during the closing ceremonies, though, were enough to make Ford break things off with a smile and shuffle everybody back into the jumper.
"McKay!" John calls suddenly.
"Here!" Rodney yelps, despite himself, clutching at John's shoulder in surprise.
"There you are. This man," he explains to Radek, pointing at Rodney with an unsteady finger, "this man right here, he is my friend." John pronounces the words with all the gravitas of a skilled orator, a very serious look on his face.
"Yes, yes," Rodney says, looking rather embarrassed.
"He's not cute though. He's like, y'know, one of them things. With the claws." John draws his hands up to his chest, aping something with talons, and growls the most pitiful little growl Radek has ever heard.
"A T-Rex?" Rodney asks, in genuine confusion.
"Medvěd," Radek tries, not able to remember the English off the top of his head.
"Doesn't he sound so fuckin' cute when he says that?" John says to Rodney, in an extremely loud whisper, amid fits of giggling. "I wanna put him in my pants and take him home." He frowns. "That doesn't sound right. McKay, why do I sound stupid?"
"You've been drugged, Major," Rodney tells him. "We're taking you to see Carson now."
"It sucks," John says, passionately, his head flopping straight back. "Oh my god, how long have we been in a puddlejumper? Who in the fuck is driving?"
"We're two minutes out from the gate," Ford replies from the cockpit.
"Hey Ford!" John says cheerily, but Rodney and Radek both push him down when he tries to sit up. "When did you get here?"
"Please relax," Radek urges him, his hand still on John's chest. John rests his own hand on top of it, looking up at him for a moment before turning to Rodney.
"I like his hair," he explains. "It's all crazy, like, I dunno, like he doesn't really give a shit. Like he gets up in the morning, and he's like," and John puffs himself up slightly, but he doesn't put on the ridiculous accent everyone else does when trying to imitate him, "'Fuck my hair, I got science to do.'"
"Maybe he's sobering up," Rodney deadpans, above John's head.
"But it's really fuckin' cute. He's really fuckin' cute," he continues. "Pocket! That's what I meant. I wanna put him in my pocket. Don't tell him I said that."
"Dialing the gate," Ford says, and Radek is a little glad that John can't see it activate- otherwise, they'd have to sit here for twenty minutes so he could look at the pretty colors.
The med team Rodney's called for is waiting in the jumper bay, and John lets himself be maneuvered on to a stretcher without complaint.
"Carson!" John says emphatically. "Carson," he repeats, dropping his voice into a very serious whisper. "Carson, I am really high."
"I know, Major," Carson replies, examining his pupils. "Let's get you to the infirmary."
"Can I bring Dr. Zelenka?' John asks, sounding like he's asking about his teddy bear.
When Carson looks over at him, Radek throws up his hands and shrugs. "Of course, lad," Carson assures him. "He's right here, see?"
"Yay," John says, reaching for Radek's hand again. "He's so cute," he whispers to Carson.
To Rodney's credit, he waits until Carson decides John's in no danger before he goes out into the hallway and dies laughing.
--
To Radek's credit, he lets the matter lie for a whole week before saying anything. John comes out of his experience with the hangover of a lifetime, a new trading partner, and a complete inability to look Radek in the face- but, otherwise, unchanged.
Eventually though, even Radek's well-tested patience wears thin, and he goes down to John's quarters one night after dinner.
"Major?" he says to the closed door, in between persistent knocks. Radek is, as usual, defenseless against the Ancients- John could leave him in the hallway, and that would be the end of that- but the door hisses open, and Radek thinks that must mean something.
John is standing stiffly next to his bed, which takes up so much of the small room that they're already quite close, an uncharacteristic blush on his cheeks.
"We should talk, yes?" Radek says, smiling at how unexpectedly endearing it is.
"I apologize for anything I might have said the other day," John says, his posture straightening even more unnaturally, reciting the words- which don't sound anything like him- rather than actually meaning them. "I was given hallucinogens against my will. I am deeply sorry if I made you uncomfortable with any of my actions."
"Maybe is hallucination," Radek says, shrugging. "You thought Rodney was a dinosaur." He takes another step into John's space, but John doesn't back away. "Perhaps is not." John bites his lip when he realizes that denial is not working, but he still doesn't move.
"But if you really think I'm 'fuckin' cute'," he continues, and his atrociously fake American accent makes the other man laugh, despite himself, "then I would like to know."
John doesn't kiss at all like he'd imagined. He keeps things light and soft, letting Radek take the lead. When Radek takes his face in both hands, teasing his mouth open with his tongue, making it last, John moans, ever so softly, and Radek can feel him blushing furiously.
It's really fucking cute.