Summary: "Don't argue with me, Rodney!"

Categories: General
Characters: Jennifer Keller, John Sheppard, Rodney McKay
Genres: Drabble, Friendship, Humour
Warnings: None
Chapters: 1 [Table of Contents]
Series: None

Word count: 607; Completed: Yes
Updated: 02 Sep 2009; Published: 26 Aug 2009

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Story Notes:
For Perfica

"Don't argue with me, Rodney! You're going to stay off that foot for at least three days or so help me, I will give you a neon pink cast and hold you down while every single child in the Athosian settlement signs it. In purple!"

Rodney sat on the edge of the examination table with his arms crossed high on his chest and his sprained ankle propped up on a nearby stool, glaring at Dr. Keller as she puttered around on the other side of the room preparing a swab to wash the blood off of his scraped knee. It had been a simple, stupid fall down the stairs (three stairs!) caused by one of John's incompetent grunts not watching where they were going and now Dr. Controlling here wanted to keep him trapped in a wheelchair for the rest of his life.

Evil, evil woman.

He had things to do, missions to go on, experiments to maintain. He had people in serious need of berating. How the hell was he supposed to do that when he had to look up at everyone he talked to?!

Keller came back and non-too-gently pulled his leg over into a more suitable position to begin administering torture.

"Ow!" he cried as soon as the alcohol touched his abused skin, "Are you trying to kill me here?!"

Keller rolled her eyes at him and said, "Rodney, it's a scrape. Stop being such a baby."

"Scrapes can be deadly you know. Have you ever heard of tetanus? I could be dying right now and because you're not taking my injury seriously... Would you like to be sued for malpractice?"

Keller gave him a defiant glare and with a deliberate motion, pressed down a little hard than was strictly necessary with the cotton swab.

"Ooooww" Rodney said slowly through gritted teeth, countering her with an equally fierce look.

"Hey, Rodney," John greeted as he strolled (possibly pranced) through the door, "So, Dr. Keller, what do you think? Will we have to amputate?" he asked, coming to rest slouching against the exam table beside Rodney.

"No, unfortunately it's just a sprain." Keller replied.


"Awww, too bad. It would've made it a lot easier to keep track of him," John sighed.

"Too ba-!"

"Yes well, I'm afraid you'll just have to find another way." Keller said with a smile then slapped her hands down on her lap with an air of finality, "Okay, I'm done here. Colonel, you're free to take him off my hands. Please."

John grinned and nodded then swooped his arm upwards, tossing the object he'd been holding high up into the air before catching it again and holding it out towards Rodney with flair. It was a cane and for a cane it was actually pretty cool: made of dark polished wood decorated with gate symbols and topped with a carving of a puddle jumper for the hand hold.

"Ronon made it for you." John shrugged in answer to Rodney's question look, "He's actually pretty good at carving; must've learned while he was a Runner as a way of keeping occupied when he was hiding."

Rodney took the cane and slid off the table as John moved towards the door, pausing when he reached it to look back over his shoulder and, giving Rodney a mischievous grin, he called out, "Come along my delicate little flower, grab you wacky stick and haul ass!" Then he ran for it, Rodney chasing closely behind.

The sound of Keller's laughter followed them out and down the corridor.