Summary: The concept of "Sentinels and Guides" has been borrowed from "The Sentinel", but this is not a crossover. This is a concept that has been applied to SGA before by several other talented authors and this is just my take on it. Sentinels and Guides are a known and accepted minority of society in this alternate universe.

Categories: Slash Pairings > McKay/Sheppard
Characters: None
Genres: AU - Alternate Universe, Humour, Series
Warnings: None
Chapters: 1 [Table of Contents]
Series: McKay and Sheppard are Probably the Worst (and Best) Sentinel and Guide in History

Word count: 2293; Completed: Yes
Updated: 09 Dec 2009; Published: 05 Dec 2009

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Story Notes:
Sentinels and Guides form a juvenile pair bond in childhood in order for Sentinels to survive. Neither John or Rodney formed that bond until they were older, which shocked both their parents, the academic community, and their governments. McKay and Sheppard are off to MIT and they leave a paper trail in their wake.

The (Scary) Paper Trail Left in the Wake of Sheppard and McKay


To: T. Rexford, MIT Housing Director
From: G. Fairlamb, Sentinel and Guide Association
Date: August 15, 1984
Subject: Housing Assignments

Mrs. Rexford:

I am contacting you as the newly appointed advocate for Sentinel John Sheppard and Guide Meredith McKay. As you undoubtedly know, they plan to make their home on-campus. However, it has come to my attention that you intend to leave the assignment of their rooms to chance by including their names in the Undergraduate Housing Lottery. I would strongly advise you to reconsider this decision immediately.

Sentinel Sheppard and Guide McKay are guaranteed any reasonable accommodations under section 2.0 of the MIT's Sentinel and Guide Regulations. This includes the right for Sentinels to be assured housing with their Guide.

I look forward to you contacting me with several options of housing for these students to choose from.


Gerry Fairlamb, Advocate
Sentinel and Guide Association


To: T. Rexford, MIT Housing Director
From: G. Fairlamb, Sentinel and Guide Association
Date: August 16, 1984
Subject: Update Housing Assignments

Mrs. Rexford:

On behalf of Guide McKay, I promised to pass onto you several messages. First of all, he has a severe allergy to citrus and has threatened litigation if he is exposed to even a minuscule amount in what he colourfully termed our "sub par slop bucket".

Second of all, he stridently insisted on being referred to by his middle name of Rodney. He did not appreciate his Letter of Admittance being addressed to Miss Meredith McKay.

Thirdly, he has demanded to be housed in graduate housing in a different building separate from Sentinel Sheppard. While I believe we can accommodate his first two requests, I cannot in good conscience allow him to be housed away Sentinel Sheppard. Housing the pair in graduate housing may be a wise option as Guide McKay is proving to already be particularly exacting. As well, the more sedate environment would be a better choice for Sentinel Sheppard's senses and I trust an exception can be made even though he will be an undergraduate. In closing, I must remind you that Guide McKay may be a graduate student with several scholarships, but he is still a minor.


Gerry Fairlamb, Advocate
Sentinel and Guide Association


To: G. Fairlamb, Sentinel and Guide Association
From: T. Rexford, MIT Housing Director
Date: August 17, 1984
Subject: Update Housing Assignments

Mr. Fairlamb:

May I remind you that we treat all of our students in a fair and equitable manner. While Sentinels and Guides are guaranteed reasonable accommodations under section 2.0 of the MIT's Sentinel and Guide Regulations, the key term is reasonable. Our office has received several objectionable phone calls from Meredith McKay demanding anything but reasonable requests. Saying Meredith lacks social graces is being kind.

That being said, I also received a call from John Sheppard. He, in all regards, appears to be a reasonable young man and apologized for any troubles his Guide may be causing, or future troubles. John was kind enough to explain the unique circumstances he is facing as a Sentinel. For his sake, and only his sake, I am willing to overlook Meredith's blusterings.

To accommodate John's requirements as a Sentinel, I have personally placed him in a double occupancy room in our building with Meredith and instructed staff to direct Meredith's inevitable complaints to me. Both young men have been placed on a floor with a seasoned Supervisor whom will assure disturbances are kept to a minimum and report any inappropriate behaviour to you as their advocate.

I trust this will be the end of this matter.


Mrs. Trudy Rexford
MIT Housing Director

"I've died and gone to hell. No, no. This is worse than hell. This is intolerable. They can't expect a human being to live like this. They can't expect me to live like this!"

"We're not human beings. We're students." John pushed past Rodney and looked around the small room. It smelt of something indefinable, but John could detect cheap tequila and what might be Cheetos. "Chill. It's fine."

Rodney was still standing in the doorway. His mouth was hanging open in horror. "Are those... bunk beds?"

"We can throw the mattresses on floor to make enough room for both of us." John closed the door and was glad to finally be alone with Rodney.

Rodney went from gaping to his pissy face in no time flat. "I've told you, I am not sleeping with you."

John liked Rodney's pissy face. He shrugged and threw his backpack on the top bunk. "So you say. I'll take the top bunk."

"Maybe I want to be on top?"

"You got vertigo going up the escalator at the airport."

Rodney made a dismissive grunt and pointed at the desk in front of the window. "That's my desk. And, if I wanted a double bed, I would buy one. I don't sleep on the floor. Did I mention this place is a dump?"

"Actually, it's one of their best rooms. Trudy said..."

"You mean, T-Rex?" Rodney snorted. He turned quickly and stomped over to John, pointing his finger at John's chest. "What did you say to her exactly? She was all stone -faced and acted like she was wearing sandpaper panties, but when it came to you she giggled."

John stood his ground and smirked. "I can't help it if I'm charming."

Rodney poked his finger against John's chest. "You flirted with a woman old enough to be your mom."

"Jealous?" John caught Rodney's arm, holding him just under his elbow.

"I-" Rodney was flustered. The other boy seemed to do that to him a lot. "I am not."

John leaned in and pulled Rodney in closer. He whispered into Rodney's ear. "You are."

"You're making assumptions, again. That would assume I even like you that way. Which I don't. I like blondes of the female persuasion, thank you very much. Hot blondes."

"Uh huh." John sniffed Rodney and nuzzled in behind his ear. He already knew that Rodney talked a lot of bullshit.

"Stop that," Rodney complained, but didn't move away. "I'm not some sort of animal you can scent. I'm not a bitch-in-heat."

"You smell jealous. I like it." John licked behind the curve of the ear until his tongue came to the hairline. Rodney shivered and groaned. "But, middle aged ladies aren't my style. Apparently, I think annoying, know-it-all geniuses are hot."

Rodney snorted from the back of his throat, but tilted his head to allow John better access to his neck. "You'd better not be thinking of bringing any dumb co-ed back to our room. I won't allow it."

"Why's that, Rodney?" John nipped above Rodney's collarbone. "I thought you didn't want me that way."

"I don't." Rodney tried for firm, but it sort of came out a whimper.

"You're fighting a losing battle. But-" John nipped once more and stepped away. "I've always enjoyed a challenge."

Rodney's huffed loudly and blinked a few times. John seemed to be able to catch him off guard and he didn't like it in the least.

The bunk bed frame rattled and there was a plenitude of rustling noises from the bottom bunk, followed by loud, dramatic sighs.

John starred up at the ceiling. "I swear, if you tossed and turned any more you'd be a pancake. What's wrong, McKay?"

"I can't sleep." The tone was petulant.


John scratched his scalp, knowing his hair was by definition bed-head. He had caught Rodney watching him as he changed for bed. Rodney had thought he was being subtle, but he was about as subtle as a bull in a china shop. John tried to bring his wild hair under control because he didn't want to look like a complete idiot in front of Rodney.

"I can't sleep either if it helps," John offered.

"I don't understand," Rodney huffed. "I was able to sleep on the plane."

John remembered Rodney snoring with his face pressed against John's shoulder. He had drooled slightly, but John hadn't woken him up. It had given him the opportunity to run his fingertips over the back of Rodney's neck and up through his hair.

"You were drugged up on Gravel," John reminded him.

"I'm a terrible Guide, ya know. I probably should've helped you cope with the flight. I think I'm supposed to do that."

John didn't say that he was fine with taking care of Rodney. The textbooks said he was supposed to want a calm Guide to help centre his abilities. But, Rodney's constant babbling was like white noise and his hectic nature was easy to focus on. As far as John was concerned, Rodney was a mess of a Guide, but he was a perfect mess.

"My blanket's itchy," Rodney complained.

John smiled in the darkness. He shifted on the top bunk until he was hanging over the side upside down. Refocusing his eyes, there was enough light to see Rodney on the bottom bunk. The blanket was pushed down around Rodney's ankles and he was dressed in a pair of ridiculous boxers. His skin was so pale John could almost swear it glowed.

"Be careful," Rodney warned. "Even though you act like one, you're not an ape."

"You need to get some sun."

"Don't mock my snow tan." Rodney's tone was biting, but he pulled the blanket back up self-consciously.

Grabbing the edges of the bunk bed, John tumbled off the top in a move that would have made an orangutan proud. He landed on the floor in a crouch right next to Rodney's head. Rodney jumped up and promptly slammed his forehead against the post.

Rubbing the sore spot, Rodney complained, "Ow!"

John tapped Rodney's leg, running his hand up a thigh higher than was really necessary. "Shove over."

"What are you doing?" Rodney squawked.

"Sleeping." John shoved at Rodney's midsection this time and crawled onto the mattress. "You're against the wall."

"The bed's too small!"

"We'll make do." John's fingers found a ticklish spot under Rodney's ribs and he squawked again, pressing himself against the wall. John flopped down, taking up most of the bed.

"This is my bed."

John ignored him and fluffed the lumpy pillow.

Rodney shifted away from the cold wall. It wasn't his fault if that brought him closer to John.

"I'm not sleeping with you every night. And, I know you making me take the wall is some sort of misguided attempt to protect me from your imagined intruders. The worst I'll face here is drunk undergrads. I knew you were a throwback."

"Uh huh." John pulled Rodney against him and heard a satisfying indignant grunt. Rodney's ranting was soothing.

Rodney shifted against him and poked him in the ribs. "You're boney."

"I'm lithe."

John smiled when Rodney settled his head on the pillow next to his. Through a yawn Rodney grumbled, "It's like sleeping with a skeleton."

"Well, then you can't complain if I get a boner..."

Rodney groaned and half heartedly smacked at John's face. He also pulled the itchy blanket over both of them.

"I hate you."

John chuckled and sniffed at Rodney. His Guide smelt happy. John scratched at his chest under the blanket.

"This blanket is kinda itchy."

Rodney ran his fingers up and down John's arm. It was a clumsy gesture since he was half asleep, but comforting none-the-less. Whatever Guide abilities Rodney had, they were naturally attuned to John and appeared to be subconscious.

"I'll get you something with cashmere," Rodney promised. "Tomorrow. Shut up and sleep."

In the middle of the night, when John left the bedroom to use the communal washroom down the hall, Rodney locked him out. As John stood in the hallway in his underwear, banging on the door, he could hear Rodney snickering on the other side.

Life with his new Guide was going to be interesting and it was only their first night alone together. John was already plotting his revenge.


September 7, 1984

John and Meredith,

I have received numerous complaints about loud noises coming from your suite. This behaviour is unacceptable, especially at that volume and after 3:00 am.

The official policy of the building states that quiet hours are in effect after 11:00 pm.

Please keep in mind that you have neighbours and they have the right to reasonable enjoyment of their quarters and the building as a whole. Additionally, this is also a reminder of our dress code which states that pants and/or shorts are not optional and must be worn at all times.

I trust you will give strong attention to this letter.

Bud Ginkins
Floor Supervisor

cc: Gerry Fairlamb, Sentinel and Guide Association


I left this note in a place I hope Meredith wouldn't find it. I heard that you filled his study cubicle floor to ceiling with popcorn. Nice one, dude!

This is completely unofficial. Don't pull that shit on my floor and expect to get away with it. Also, I'd better not be caught in the crossfire when he retaliates. He's a scary little shit.


P.S. The walls are thin. Some of us need sleep. Next time, try sticking a sock in his mouth. The boy's a screamer.