Summary: The long and winding saga of John and Rodney's love begins with hot & dirty sex in Antarctica. But it is impossible to say where it ends.

Dark romance, angst, & so much homoerotic tension. In Pegasus a true bond and friendship deepens. The real story of the first 5 years must be told to understand the next 5 years and beyond. Warning: Non/con/Hurt/Comfort -but no bad stuff between John & Rodney. A very happy ending.

Updated: 08 Sep 2017; Published: 05 Nov 2016

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Story Notes:

This story spans the five seasons of the show and many years afterwards
Credits for inspiration:
-A story I read once about John and Rodney in Antarctica. (details are different but the frenzy sexual passion is similar. Sorry I don't remember who wrote it, it was years ago)
-A story that featured Vegas John in an Aurora pod. Details are different, but I loved that AU Rodney kept going in to 'rescue' John. "Highway to Nowhere' by Madison.
-'In the City of Seven Walls' by Auburn. A story completely different than mine, but so epic in scope that it made me want to write something as grand and long (though mine is not quite so elegant).
-Also probably a lot more. I've read so many McShep stories over the years, I think there is a bit of inspiration from everyone. Somehow, it all coalesced in my mind until I had to write something myself and get it all out.
*previous count from old story page 46617

Author's Chapter Notes:

Chapter 1 Takes place during the pilot episode 'Rising'

"Are you as hard as I am right now?" John licks his lips.
"Yes." McKay closes his eyes and lets his head fall back onto the couch.
Standing up, John adjusts his painfully crowded cock in his pants. He sets his beer down to the side of the couch and walks in front of McKay, touching his arm to get his attention.
"Do you want to do something about it?"
"Y-Yes. Yes." McKay looks up at John with his mouth hanging open in disbelief.


. Step One: Get McKay out of that fleece

The man in the orange fleece stares at him with startling blue eyes. He seems excited, holding John's gaze and gesturing with his hands.

"Major, think about where we are in the solar system."

John does as the man asks and a holographic display of the galaxy appears above his head. He blinks up from the throne chair, weapons platform, or whatever it might have been before the whole complex was buried under the ice and left by aliens thousands of years ago.

"Did I do that?" He looks up in wonder.

This day has turned out... Well, not at all as he expected. John starts to feel excited by all the strange alien things around him. The lights dancing above his head entice him to feel something other than the numb detachment he is used to. He blinks again and looks back down to the people in the room.

The General that John flew in earlier, the one who warned him not to touch anything, is speaking with that woman who seems to be in charge, Dr. Weir. General O'Neill, Weir, and another man talk amongst themselves and then leave the chamber. Beckett, the Scottish doctor John just met, introduces him to the fleeced man.

"This," Beckett gestures to the man in the orange fleece, "This is Dr. Rodney McKay"

They don't shake hands. John stays sitting in the contraption like a kid that just broke something he wasn't supposed to.

"Pleased to meet you." John says in astonishment, "I'm, uh-"

"Major John Sheppard, yeah, I heard." The man in orange, Dr. McKay, interrupts sounding irritated.

"Don't mind him," Beckett waves his hand, "he's just jealous that he doesn't carry the advanced gene."

"For the last time," McKay makes a sour face at Beckett, "it has nothing to do with being advanced. It is a random genetic characteristic, nothing more."

Tilting his head toward Beckett, McKay continues, "Random or not, it does seem you have a certain proclivity for activating Ancient technology."

"I imagine that Dr. Weir will probably want to see if you can assist with some of the additional testing." Beckett adds.

"Oh. Well, I've got my thing back at McMurdo, so, yeah." John smiles at them both, noticing how the orange jacket makes the blue of McKay's eyes stand out dramatically.

"If Dr. Weir is interested." McKay blinks flatly, "I doubt this would interfere with your 'thing'. We all work for the Air Force here."

"Interesting." John is puzzled. When he was told this might be an extended trip he packed a duffel bag, but he doubts he'll be here long.

McKay steps up on the platform and John find himself staring at the man. There is something about the way McKay looks at him. Something as rare as they say this Ancient gene is; something John has gotten good at detecting after all these years.

In the military, it is really important not to read these things wrong. Sure, the guy acts abrasive, but he is sure that McKay is attracted to him by the way his eyes are flitting over John's body.

"You can probably get out of the chair now." McKay sounds dismissive as he barks the command.

But John doesn't move. He smiles up at lazily at McKay and gives him a long, sure gaze. McKay flushes but holds the gaze. Then, his eyes get big before he blinks and looks away, seeming flustered.

John is confident that there is something of interest here. He likes this bright-eyed scientist. He isn't flashy but he is good looking. Honey colored hair, high angled cheekbones, John likes what he sees so far. It is hard to tell with that fleece on, but John imagines his body. McKay looks like the kind of guy who wouldn't have too much hair on him. Smooth arms and chest, maybe?

It has been so long since John got laid. Finally, he stands up out of the chair and rubs the back of his neck. He eyes Beckett who is busy on his computer and looks back at brusque scientist.

"Well" John steps in close to McKay, leveling his eyes flirtatiously with an easygoing smile, "That was different."

He watches McKay's face closely; he seems nervous but interested. John will have to make the first move with this guy, but he can tell McKay wants him. Besides, this whole outfit will be out of here soon. No one stays Antarctica unless they have to, not even for alien technology; John will never see the guy again.

It's worth taking the risk before he loses the chance. No one at McMurdo will find out. He wants to fuck McKay and he is going to see if McKay will let him.

"I'll see you later." John says softy, squeezing McKay's elbow as he walks by.

Walking down the platform, he speaks more loudly, "It was nice meeting both of you."

As he exits the room, John lets his cool demeanor fall away. He wanders through the busy corridors full of scientists wondering if they all work for this Stargate program. Beckett said it has been active for over seven years.

Undoubtedly, these people were recruited for specialized talents. These days John's nothing more than a glorified chauffeur. If he hadn't fallen backward into that chair... If he hadn't been asked to fly General O'Neill here... he never would have known about this secret base.

John's whole worldview is going through a radical readjustment It is really possible that influential leaders around the world are aware of this interstellar travel? The Air Force is sending people to other planets through a wormhole device located in Colorado? Right now, in 2004? And literally just 45 minutes SSE from where John has been stationed at McMurdo the last 11 months, there is an ancient alien weapons platform?

If he hadn't disobeyed a direct order, John would have still been fighting the Taliban in Afghanistan. Or maybe deployed as part of the new US invasion of Iraq. But all the guys John knew are dead now and he's not really a soldier anymore. He just pilots a chopper in and out of McMurdo.

There hasn't been much to disrupt the glacial pace of his routine; quite different from his life as a pilot in a war zone. In a way he's come to admire the serene beauty of the landscape. At first, it all looked the same, but then John started to pick out the subtleties, the ripples in the snow, the undulating tufts.

Antarctica is a lonely continent, a good place to be in solitude, to disappear from your past. With a lot of drinking and a little Johnny Cash, it isn't so bad.

He's almost at peace here doing his penance. Ever since they exiled him here, hoping he would fade into obscurity. And John's has been happy to oblige. Well, not happy exactly, nothing ever feels happy anymore. Numb, it has gotten numb. Cold and quiet like the drifts of snow outside.

He stares in silence for a while and tries to make sense of the alien artifacts in the rooms around him, but the ideas swim in his mind. It seems like an elaborate joke. How can there be a battle waging beyond Earth itself without most of the world knowing about it?

"Colonel Sheppard, I've been looking for you." Dr. Weir, the woman from the chair room calls out to him.

John gives a friendly nod and walks her way.

"Rodney no doubt told you about the expedition?"

Feeling out of his element, John shakes his head apologetically.

"Well," she smiles, "as long as you're here with us, I'd like you to help test this Ancient technology. Dr. Jackson believes he may have found another outpost. If O'Neill allows us to use the ZPM to get there, we want to be prepared for what we'll find."


"Oh, yes. Short for Zero Point Module; it taps enormous amounts of energy from subspace, though explaining how it works is really more of Rodney's department. The ZPM we have here is what keeps the Earth defense platform working, and we would need to use some of its power to dial a gate that far away."

John squints in her even more perplexed and Elizabeth continues.

"See, if Earth is attacked again, the ZPM will be needed to send out a fleet of drones. A Naquedah reactor isn't sufficient to do this, so we'll need to make sure there is enough surplus energy. Rodney seems to think there will be, provided we can find a way to channel the ZPM through the gate."

"Naquadah? What –what do you mean, attacked again?"

Dr. Weir, or Elizabeth as she insists he call her, takes him by the arm and explains further as she shows him to some temporary quarters. The more she talks, the less John feels he understands what is really going on here.

The small bedroom is spacious by McMurdo standards. Elizabeth tells him that the members of the expedition will be in Antarctica for a few more weeks. She would like him to stay and assist with testing as long as he is able to. Providing his commanding officer and General O'Neill are in agreement, John consents.

Before she leaves, Elizabeth gives him directions to the mess hall and John asks for a favor.

"What is it?" She looks curious.

"Beer?" John asks hopefully, "You guys have that kind of thing here?"

She laughs and takes him to room nearby with a giant Television screen and a small bar, "Help yourself to anything you want while you're here."

For the rest of day, John makes himself available to the various people working with the Ancient technology. Nothing is as exciting as the chair, mostly interfaces for the outpost operating systems.

In between projects, John lurks around the chair room, waiting to see when McKay will be done. As the evening goes by, other people leave. The chambers get quiet and empty. But McKay types away at his computer, eating his ready-made snacks instead of dinner. John leaves to get himself some food.

When he comes back McKay is still working. John wants to get him out of that fleece. He has to have him and it has to be tonight. He doesn't know how long he will be here.

"Hey." John steps up close.

"Hey." McKay looks up casually and returns to typing.

John leans over the table where McKay is working, "I was hoping to get your help with something."

"Oh yeah." McKay rubs his brow, "What's that?"

This is not going to be easy. John sighs, tilting his head playfully, "Well, it's just, I'm really bored and I heard there was a game room."

"There is?" McKay blinks, "Oh yeah, there is. It's pretty small. Mostly some computer games, no one uses it really."

"Can you take me there?" John lifts his eyebrows.

Looking around the room uncertainly, McKay seems to decide it is okay to leave and stands up, "This way."

John follows McKay a short way and then tells him, "Hang on. I forgot something. Be right back."

Making a quick stop in his room, John dashes to the bar to grab some beer. When he returns with a six-pack under his arm, McKay looks irritated. They continue down a hall until they reach a small room at the end of a corridor.

Again it is luxurious compared to McMurdo, but no TV screen. That is probably why people opt for the movie room Elizabeth had shown him. Other than some board games and some older computers, it has a couch, some chairs, and a table.

As John sets the beer down, he sees McKay turning to leave, "Wait, you're not going to keep me company?"

"Oh." McKay turns confused, "You- Okay."

After he ushers McKay back in, John shuts the door behind them. The handle has a lock on it and he discretely turns it in his fingers.

"Here," John grabs McKay a beer, "have one."

"I don't usually." McKay frowns.

John shrugs, "Today has been an unusual day?"

Twisting the top off of his own drink John sits on the couch and sets McKay's beer on the table next to him, hoping he takes the hint. Picking up the bottle dubiously, McKay sits where John wants him.

To close more of the distance between them, John stretches his long legs up onto the cushions. Sitting with his back on the armrest, he lounges casually, facing McKay

"It's good." John takes a sip.

"Hmm." McKay takes off the lid and gives it a try, "Yeah, okay."

Next steps, figure out what makes this guy laugh and get him out of that fleece.

It turns out that McKay loves Sci-Fi movies and TV shows, anything to do with physics or math, and his cat. He likes to make fun of his coworkers, telling John stories about how brilliant he is and that they are not worthy to be his sidekicks.

"Really?" John teases, "'Cause you seem like more of a Robin than a Batman to me."

Though McKay gives him an infuriated look, John feels a growing familiarity between them, as if they have known each other longer than a day.

By the time they are on their second beers, John purposely turns the conversation to sex. He asks McKay questions, like if he's has ever done it in public.

Joining in the spirit, McKay asks John if he's ever had sex on a plane. They take turns asking questions and McKay looks less grumpy now, almost cheerful, laughing easily.

"Ever done it with a guy?" John asks when it is his turn.

McKay just blinks and doesn't answer.

"I'll take that as a yes." John smiles.

"Have you ever done it with a guy?" McKay takes a sip on his beer.

"Well, since I'm in the military and all," John looks at him seductively, "no comment."

McKay's eyes get big, like he finally understands that John is flirting with him.

"Have you ever," John pauses and looks at the other man with open desire, "let another man be inside you?"

The scientist seems shocked, flushed with arousal, looking down and then back up to John, "Yes."

"Would you," John asks without giving McKay his turn, "ever consider letting me-?"

As John tries to think of a sexy way to proposition the man, he falters. When he's done this before, there hasn't been a lot of talking.

McKay's mouth falls open. He stares at John, taking in short breaths. Worried, he may have gone too far, John's hands fumble with his beer. McKay looks like he might panicking.

But McKay doesn't panic; he holds John's gaze and nods decisively.

"I can tell you would make me cum really hard." John's chest is warm with growing confidence, "I could make you feel good, McKay."

 "O-oh." McKay's breath hitches.

"Are you as hard as I am right now?" John licks his lips. 

"Yes." McKay closes his eyes and lets his head fall back onto the couch.

Standing up, John adjusts his painfully crowded cock in his pants. He sets his beer down to the side of the couch and walks in front of McKay, touching his arm to get his attention.

"Do you want to do something about it?"

"Y-Yes. Yes." McKay looks up at John with his mouth hanging open in disbelief. 

John pulls the lube out of his pocket before he starts to take his pants off.

"What, here!?" McKay is stunned.

"Locked the door." John points.

Incredulous at the obvious premeditation of this seduction, McKay shakes his head.

"Take this off." John tugs on McKay's fleece.

Staring at John's tented boxers, McKay flushes and willingly takes of the jacket.

"Mmm." John looks him over, pleased as he runs his hand up McKay's perfect nearly hairless bicep. He kneels down and slides the table away from them, pushing McKay's shirt up and feeling the wonderfully smooth skin on his chest.

McKay starts to looks uncomfortable.

"So nice." John assures him. That seems to relax him. Running his hands up the inside of McKay's pants, John squeezes his cock.

Impressed, John tells him, "Very nice."

He starts to undo McKay's pants but McKay takes over to do it himself. So John pulls off his own shirt and boxers.