Summary: The long and winding saga of John and Rodney's love begins with hot & dirty sex in Antarctica. But it is impossible to say where it ends.

Dark romance, angst, & so much homoerotic tension. In Pegasus a true bond and friendship deepens. The real story of the first 5 years must be told to understand the next 5 years and beyond. Warning: Non/con/Hurt/Comfort -but no bad stuff between John & Rodney. A very happy ending.

Updated: 08 Sep 2017; Published: 05 Nov 2016

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Author's Chapter Notes:

Chapter 2 takes place during the pilot episode 'Rising'

Sheppard starts to thrust, pumping in and out. Rodney feels like a ragdoll, skewered on his huge cock. He is slumped over the side of the couch, letting Sheppard use his body however he wants to. But dammit it feels good.

. Major Sheppard has his way with McKay

When Rodney looks up, Sheppard is naked next to him on the couch. Oh my God. His cock is enormous, very long but thick, too. Rodney can't believe that thing is going to fit inside him. Is it even possible?

The cock is straight and has a clean peach tone, not too veiny, not too anything- It is perfect, like Sheppard himself. Rodney gapes at it feeling a bit scared, as it stands to attention, ready to fuck. He can't believe this is even happening. This hot pilot guy wants to sleep with him?

He isn't used to really good-looking people wanting him back. And Sheppard is so, so incredibly hot. Rugged and yet boyish, with those long lashes over big green eyes. His skin is clear and light but not pale.

And that head of hair. That thick crop of dark hair pushing itself out from all angles -it almost looks too messy to be military. Sheppard's body is lean and strong. He looks so long and graceful, ready to pounce.

Rodney suddenly realizes he is still wearing boxers and a T-shirt. He is really just some average nerd, not out of shape exactly, but not toned or chiseled either. Feeling inadequate, he wishes the lights were off or at least lowered.

Sheppard grabs Rodney familiarly around the waist and turns him onto the arm of the couch. He palms one of Rodney's cheeks and makes a noise of approval. His hands push up under Rodney's shirt, along the curve of his back. Then he lowers them, catching and tugging on the waist of Rodney's boxers. This is all happening so fast. Rodney's head is spinning.

Easing Rodney's boxers down and pulling them off, Sheppard kneels behind him. Oh God, he can feel Sheppard's cock brushing against his balls. He pulls Rodney's shirt up over his head and runs his hands across Rodney's skin before bringing them back to rest on his ass. Sheppard seem to delight in his ass, playing with it and squeezing it. He even gives it a light swat or two, making a small smacking sound.

He leans away and Rodney hears him squirting the lube. Oh Fuck. This is really happening. Sheppard runs a reassuring hand under his chest and then grabs Rodney's cock.

Oh. That. Is good. Sheppard is stroking him, teasing him. Rodney has butterflies in his stomach.

Then Sheppard stops. He uses both of his hands to spread Rodney's cheeks and wet his hole with the lube on his cock.

Feeling afraid again, Rodney shivers. How did he end up here with this stranger? The size of that thing- Rodney feels Sheppard's fingers enter him, stretching him in preparation, then he feels something much bigger pressing against him. It almost feels like a fist. Sheppard pushes and pushes.

Rodney breaks out into a light sheen of sweat and bears down as hard as he can. He can feel the head start to work its way in.

He stifles a cry of pain as Sheppard holds onto his hips and uses them to push himself in past the ring. The head is all the way in and it burns, it's on fire. Rodney bites his lip and lets his head fall over his hands, onto arm of the couch.

Oh fuck. Fuck-fuck. It really hurts. He shouldn't be doing this. Sheppard is pushing in for more. He's just going to- Oh God. Sheppard tries to get it all the way in one intense thrust, but it just doesn't give. It's too big and Rodney isn't ready.

"You feel so good, McKay. Fuck. I can't believe how tight you are."

With smaller movements, Sheppard begins to grind instead. Rodney sighs in relief. This is better. The burn starts to ebb into a pleasant ache where his prostate is being stimulated. The sheer pressure of a cock this size is overwhelming, but Rodney starts to relax enough to accommodate it.

He feels Sheppard start to slide deeper and deeper into him. The pain is gone but he still feels afraid, vulnerable with someone he doesn't even know. No one has ever been this deep inside him.

Sheppard's hand closes around Rodney's cock again and he forgets about the fear. 'Oh yes. Touch me like that. Yes. Like that'.

Then Sheppard starts to thrust, pumping in and out. Rodney feels like a ragdoll, skewered on his huge cock. He is slumped over the side of the couch, letting Sheppard use his body however he wants to. But dammit it feels good.

His body shakes and heaves as the base of Sheppard's cock and balls ride up against his ass. Hearing the smacking sound as they slam into him, Rodney feels ashamed of himself for being such a slut.

But he is burning with pleasure now. The way Sheppard's hand is pumping his cock is- Oh, but the ache inside him is even more intense. That huge cock is driving him mad with desire, it feels even better than the hand job.

Major Sheppard is fucking Rodney hard. He has taken him completely, and Rodney feels so out of control. Helpless, he wants to resist this somehow, but he is about to cum.

Helpless. Please, oh, please. God. Sheppard's cock is so deep. It feels like it is reaching up Rodney's throat, squeezing the wind out of him. He breathes in time with the thrusts. Oh fuck. Fuck. He is going to cum. Rodney's body shakes and spasms under Sheppard's hard shaft, cumming in bright white shock.

Sheppard lets go of Rodney's sticky cock and uses both of his hands to grip Rodney's hips, pumping into him intensely. Rodney feels the cock in his ass tighten, the cum gushing into him.

"Oh God!" Sheppard screams. He leans his sweaty brow against Rodney's back, trembling a little, "Ohhh. Oh my God-Jesus, you are so tight."

The two of them breathe together for moment. Then Sheppard pulls out of his ass unexpectedly. Rodney makes a noise of discomfort. Sheppard presses his dry palm to Rodney's back and holds it there for a second, then he stands up. As he hears Sheppard getting dressed and getting his things, Rodney stays hunched over with his face hidden against the couch.

Is Sheppard leaving? Is he going to say anything at all? Rodney starts to feel small. His face is burning with shame. Why did he let this happen? This was a huge mistake. He can't face this man now, not after letting him do this to him.

Rodney hears the sound of the handle turning and then the door closing. He keeps his face hidden out of fear that Sheppard might still be there. Then he remembers that the door is unlocked and jumps up fearfully, locking himself back in the empty room.

In a panic now, he wants to put his clothes on but he has cum all over him. Rodney rummages and finds some paper towels, wiping his dripping ass and stomach. As he cleans up the spot on the couch as best he can, he feels the wetness dripping out of him again. Sheppard's cum in his ass. Rodney dries himself once more. He feels so hollow and empty.

It's like Alex said, no one would ever want him for anything more than just a cum-rag. Rodney vows not to let this happen again, no matter how hot a guy is. Probably just best to avoid guys all together, stick with women- not that they usually want him. Feeling humiliated, Rodney pulls the towel from his crack; the cum is probably done leaking out of him by now.

Collecting himself, Rodney hurriedly pulls his clothes back on. Then taking a deep breath, he opens the door. No one is there. He makes his way to his room and hides in the darkness.

The next day Rodney is sore. When he sees Sheppard in the lab, he can barely make eye contact. He tries not to think about last night, but he still feels the ache of Sheppard's cock deep up inside him, nearly into his chest.

Strange, Sheppard seems the same as before, casual and easygoing. Throughout the day he makes trips to the lab to speak with Rodney and Carson. They run several tests with Sheppard in the chair. Rodney monitors the results and tries to maintain the same kind of professional detachment Sheppard seems to have. He keeps the dialogue as limited as possible.

When the day is over, Rodney opts to stay out of the mess hall and hides in his room, eating some MRE's instead. Later than night, once he is in bed, there is a soft but unmistakable knock at the door. Bleary eyed, Rodney answers in nothing but his boxers.

It is Major Sheppard. He seems a bit drunk leaning in the doorway. There is a dark and dangerous look in his eyes. Rodney feels his stomach flip-flop. Oh no. He had told himself he was not going to do this.

No, he is not going to- Sheppard's hand presses onto Rodney's bare chest pushing him backwards to the bed. Rodney lets himself fall back onto it far too easily. He gives a soft whimper as Sheppard pulls off his shirt. It is dark but he can make out the solid sinewy lines of Sheppard's chest.

He can't take his eyes off the man as he unbuckles his pants and swings sloppily onto the bed. Bumping into Rodney as he takes off his shoes, Sheppard lolls his head into him.

The attraction is making Rodney's mind cloudy. His cock begins to harden as he feels the contact of Sheppard's bare arm leaning against him. This is the point where he should say no, he should stop Sheppard now. But he doesn't, God help him he wants this man. And he wants Sheppard to want him.

The Major pushes his pants and boxers to the floor and then pauses. He lifts a finger and smiles like he forgot something and reaches to his fallen pants pocket to retrieve a small bottle. Lube. Rodney swallows hard as he thinks about how big Sheppard's cock had felt in his ass last night.

"Take them off." Sheppard gives Rodney a smoldering look.

Rodney knows what to do. He pulls his boxers down and moves up on the bed a little defensively. He lays flat on his back, unsure of himself and worried Sheppard might be too rough given his intoxication. Last night had been rough enough.

As Sheppard lays next to him, Rodney's feels the inviting warmth of his skin make contact. Sheppard's hand pushes against Rodney's hip and rolls him to his side, where Sheppard is guiding him. The Major's body is warm against his back, he is breathing into the nape of Rodney's neck, heavy and deliberate. He moves in closer, his cock between Rodney's cheeks. It is hypnotic as Sheppard moves his body, pulsing and writhing against him. Rodney's cock is rock hard now.

Sheppard leans in closer, pressing his lips into Rodney's neck, trailing them until he reaches the curve of the shoulder. Rodney lets out a soft cry of surprise when Sheppard's teeth bite into his flesh. It is enough to let Rodney know The Major is taking possession of him, but not enough to really hurt.

"McKay." Sheppard releases and exhales in lust. He inhales just as deeply, raking his fingers down McKay's stomach.

Self conscious of his body, Rodney is glad that it is dark. Sheppard moves his hand to Rodney's hip and squeezes. He feels his own cock pulse in anticipation. The strong hand rocks Rodney's hip, sliding his ass against the waiting cock nestled in his crack. Rodney goes limp and lets the man move him any way he wants to.

His cock is bursting now and he feels so guilty that he wants to be used like this. Sheppard reaches back to the table for the lube, then Rodney can feel Sheppard's cock back between his legs, slick and ready. His fingers are wet too and they press into his tight crease.

Rodney widens his legs to help Sheppard find what he is looking for. The fingers fumble over Rodney's balls before they find their way up to his hole. Then Sheppard wobbles back away from Rodney, to make more room for entry. He knees one of Rodney's legs, making him spread wider.

Now Rodney is at an awkward angle, halfway between lying on his side and bending over. He grabs at his pillow with his free arm and hugs it into his chest to stabilize himself. Sheppard sits up with one of his hands resting on Rodney's back and the other working its way into his pucker. The finger moves inside, opening him, playing just enough to get him wet.

Then Sheppard lies back down, guiding his cock between Rodney's cheeks. He finds his target and begins to push against the entrance. It is so impossibly big; it feels like it can't possibly get in. But Rodney knows Sheppard will breach him, just like he did last night.
Oh, God. It is moving in past the ring and it hurts.

"Ohh." Sheppard gasps with the effort and stops there for a moment.

Rodney exhales, trying to relax into it; his hard cock is pressed into the bedding, aching.

The Major leans his body up again holding himself up with one arm and grabbing onto Rodney's shoulder with the other. Sheppard pushes his cock deeper and Rodney chokes, trying to catch his breath. It is so intense. Fuck. Breathe. Fuck.

Thankfully, Sheppard has stopped moving momentarily, he pants on Rodney's shoulder, heavy with lust and the smell of beer.

"So good." He mumbles.

It isn't even close to being all the way in. Rodney squeezes his eyes in fear and anticipation. He knows what it feels like when Sheppard is all the way in. Like a punch somewhere up inside his stomach that makes his whole spine go to jelly. At first it burns, and then after it stretches, it aches so good, sending waves of pleasure down his legs and up his into chest.

He feels like a puppet that Sheppard controls, completely at his mercy, being used and loving it. The cock slides in deeper, he is grateful that so far Sheppard is being more careful with him than he was last night.

Sounding frustrated that this angle won't allow him to go as deep as he wants to, Sheppard prompts Rodney "Up."

He obeys, bowing to his stomach with his legs spread wide for the Major, taking care not to dislodge Sheppard's cock in the process.

Sheppard moves Rodney into the new position and groans, "Yeah."

Here it comes. Rodney breathes. Sheppard pushes in all the way. So big-so big-so big. Rodney concentrates and he tries to relax, to get used to the size of the thing. But Sheppard doesn't wait and begins thrusting deeply into Rodney with desire.

Oh God. It is too much. Rodney squeezes his eyes tight from the pain. He feels like he is isn't going to be able to take it, he's still so sore from last night. Sheppard quickens his pace, slamming in balls deep. Rodney gasps as Sheppard grips his legs, spreading them even wider and pulling Rodney up into him with each thrust.

"Please- please-please" Rodney whimpers, as his eyes water from the pain.

Alex said Rodney liked to be hurt. He must have been right. He shouldn't have let Sheppard in when he saw he was drunk. He shouldn't have let him in at all. Rodney breathes in time to the thrusts.

The pain subsides a bit and then Rodney starts to feel some enjoyment from all the deep pressure. The friction on his prostate is intense. And the sensation of been fucked so deep, so far inside, is starting to ache so good.

Rodney's skin burns with passion and shame. He shouldn't want this, to let someone use him like some kind of disposable toy. It feels wrong and dirty but he can't say no this man. He wants Major Sheppard to fuck his ass. Even if it means he will hate himself later, Rodney wants it now. It feels so good to be wanted by somebody, even if it is just for a moment.

He fists the sheets to keep himself in place as Sheppard's thrusts propel him forward. It is all Rodney can do just to breathe and accommodate the cock moving inside him.

"Fuck, McKay." Sheppard gasps.

Feeling Sheppard's hand curl around his cock, a thrill races through Rodney's body. The pleasure begins to overload as Sheppard pumps his shaft, and he feels like a puppet again.

Sheppard is taking him from inside and out. Rodney gives into the sensation, letting Sheppard ride him to the brink of an orgasm. As Sheppard squeezes his cock Rodney explodes, pulsing in staggered waves. As his orgasm slowly subsides, the cock in his ass swells even bigger as Sheppard cums inside him.

"God! McKay." The Major grips Rodney's shoulder as he spasms.

He waits quietly to see what will happen next. Sheppard stops shuddering and pulls out. Rodney hears him picking up his clothes off the floor and getting dressed.

Right. Of course. Rodney stays on his stomach but presses his legs back together. He doesn't want to look any more pathetic than he already feels. The Major finishes getting dressed and Rodney hears the door open and close.

Did this just happen? It seems so surreal. He just lies there for a while in the dark. Rodney starts to move and moans. He puts his hand on his lower belly. God, it really aches. Doesn't hurt too much, but he feels the ache deep inside him every time he moves. He is probably going to be feeling this for days.

Every step he takes, every time he sits down, he is going to be feeling like he got fucked hard by Major Sheppard.

So stupid. Thinking about it now gives him a flutter of butterflies in his stomach. He shouldn't be doing this. Sheppard is so far out of Rodney's league and he obviously doesn't want anything more from Rodney than a quick fuck. As afterglow of the deep orgasm fades, Rodney gives into the great sadness that has overtaken him

He sighs and turns the light on to clean himself up. After changing the sheets and wiping himself down with a damp cloth, he puts on some fresh boxers and gets back into bed. He feels so pathetic and worthless. To hide his shame and let the oblivion of sleep take him, Rodney turns the light back off.