Author's Note: The problem with writing "fan 'ship" fiction for an ongoing program is that you have to keep the main players "in character" for the show – which makes writing 'ship tough. But I like to think that there has been something going on between J and E behind the scenes since mid-Season One, and so far there's been nothing on the show to dissuade me from this belief. Maybe this is one way something might have happened. This story would take place shortly after "Sanctuary", when John and Rodney were still angry with each other, and before Teyla's psychic powers fully manifested. Thanks to OboeCrazy and LillieWescott for the beta. Please, enjoy!

*

Their young guide stared wide-eyed down the darkened passage. "You can't go in there."

Elizabeth Weir ran her hand along the iridescent inlay of the burnished wood handrail near the opening to the passage. "This is beautiful." She looked up at the handsome features of her military advisor. "Isn't it?"

Major John Sheppard glanced at the decorative paneling and muttered, "Yeah, it's great."

Elizabeth turned to study him. He was surveying the hallway, quietly alert, his standard issue P90 rifle held up in readiness. Across from him and a few feet down the hall stood her head scientific advisor, the third member of her top-level group that she knew some of the mission specialists referred to as "The Trinity." In contrast to John's laid-back manner and common sense logic, Rodney McKay was in a constant state of stream-of-consciousness nervous energy. Even now, Rodney was passing his hand frenetically over the paneled walls and grinning madly, completely unaware of John's sudden tension.

John turned back to the adolescent girl that had accompanied them on their mission for the last two days. "Why can't we go in?"

Rodney stopped short and looked over at the girl. "What? Is there something dangerous in there?"

"The Council wouldn't like it." The girl hung her head, her long dark hair falling down to hide her face.

Elizabeth looked at John with worry. "Maybe we should wait for permission."

John bit his lip, glancing down the shadowed hallway, and then back out the large door they had just managed to unlock after two days of effort. It was still early afternoon outside, and he preferred the crisp coastal air of the Alelic world to the stale dryness inside this room. The Ancient structure they were investigating was set on the rocky cliffs overlooking a vast grey sea, and it was constructed of a salt-resistant metal rather than the carved marble-like stone they usually encountered. The holographic printing on the metal surfaces had made photographing the inscriptions impossible, and Rodney had insisted he needed Elizabeth's help with the translations.

She had jumped at the chance to help, and John had a sneaking suspicion that she and Rodney had conspired to get her away from the relative confinement of Atlantis in order to see the white cliffs and forested countryside where the Alelics made their home. He'd have to remember to grill Rodney about it when they got home. Which he wanted to be soon. Every minute they stayed here was another minute that Elizabeth was away from the relative shelter of Atlantis. He found himself constantly glancing at her, to reassure himself that she was safe. And it wasn't just because she was his boss. When it came to Elizabeth he was definitely overprotective.

John turned to the guide again, turning his charm full-blast on the young girl, feeling a tinge of guilt as he did so. He knew full well the girl had developed a bit of a crush on him. "Listen, Aleia. You could help us out, right?" Her wide blue eyes gazed back up at him as he assaulted her with his most charming smile. "How fast could we get permission from this Council?" He glanced at Elizabeth, and faltered, seeing her arched brow.

Rodney clucked in annoyance, as much at John's lack of decorum as being hindered from continuing their exploration of the structure. He turned to Elizabeth, "They let us come here to investigate the site. Why wouldn't they want us to finish the job?"

Elizabeth shook her head wordlessly and considered her options for negotiation. The locals had been leery of letting them near the ruins to begin with. The Alelic people had a rather strange society. Everyone was related to everyone else in some way, and they were extremely xenophobic, not allowing any strangers to settle or marry into the village. Teyla had said that despite this they were open to trade, and they were rather famous in the rest of the Pegasus galaxy worlds for having unusual longevity. Although their guide looked to be about fifteen, Elizabeth had no idea how old she really was. Even now, Carson was in the village looking for clues as to the population's good health. More impressively, the Alelic people hadn't suffered a Wraith culling in anyone's memory, and the Atlantis crew was here to find out why. They needed to finish this mission.

Elizabeth placed a hand on their guide's shoulder, turning her around to face her. "Aleia, has anyone ever been inside this structure before?"

"I don't think so."

John grunted, "Well, why don't you get some folks to come with us? We'll all have a look around together."

Elizabeth nodded. "We can work with your people. What we find may be very helpful to them as well."

Aleia frowned and rubbed her pale hands down the front of her blue, roughly woven tunic. She hesitated a moment before saying, "I will go with you. We can tell the others later." She looked up at John shyly. "I trust you, John Sheppard."

Rodney rolled his eyes and pulled out his flashlight, switching it on. "Whatever, look, let's go already."

John didn't move. He clicked on his radio. "Lieutenant Ford?"

"Yes sir?"

"We've managed to open up the ruins and we are going for a look inside. Get Beckett and Teyla and come down to back us up. And check in with Shelby and Waters, I'm out of range. Stay sharp."

"Yes, sir."

He switched off the radio and turned to Elizabeth. She looked so out-of-character in her Marine-regulation fatigues, but she still looked good. He felt a little embarrassed, flirting with the girl in front of her. He didn't want Elizabeth to think he was some sort of indiscriminate cradle robber, and he knew she had disapproved of his affair with the Ancient woman Chaya. He mentally chided himself for caring. Why was any of it her business? Even if she weren't his boss, it wasn't as if he had a chance in hell with Elizabeth anyway. She was too classy.

He leaned down towards her and rumbled, "Stay behind me..." The words came out a bit more sharply than he intended, and he paused, expecting her to object. She didn't and he smiled gently. "...and don't touch anything."

Elizabeth nodded and then glanced doubtfully at Rodney, who had returned to running his hands along the wall carvings. John followed her gaze. "McKay! Jeez, can you control yourself? All we need is for you to set off some booby trap."

Rodney pulled his hands away from the wall as if they'd been burned. "You really think the Ancients would set traps for human beings?"

"Ancient ruins, right? Didn't you ever see an Indiana Jones movie?"

"Oh, very funny. Can we not play 'Screw with the Scientist' today?"

"I'm not playin', Rodney."

Rodney set his jaw. "Fine."

The little group moved cautiously down the winding passageway, their flashlights sweeping over the walls, sending multi-colored beams of light bouncing off of the rainbow-reflections of the wall inscriptions.

After another turn they came to an abrupt halt as the passage ended in a heavily decorated solid wall. With John's permission, Rodney and Elizabeth stepped forward to examine the engraved images of men and women with arms outstretched over a crowd, the twin moons of the Alelic world overhead. On the right side of the picture there were a number of inscribed panels. Rodney nodded at John, "You should try to activate this. If the Ancients do have this place booby-trapped your natural gene might give us safe passage."

"Okay." John took a breath, glancing at Elizabeth. "What do you suggest I touch?"

Rodney grinned at Elizabeth and pointed at the top panel. "Oh, I don't know, how about this panel that says 'Touch Here for Access'?"

Elizabeth looked back at John, "It seems like a good place to start."

John narrowed his eyes and then motioned for Elizabeth and Aleia to stand back. He muttered to Rodney, "Smart ass."

Rodney bounced on his toes with anticipation. "Just trying to be helpful, Major."

John hesitated and then laid his hand flat on the panel. After a brief moment, there was a loud click and the ceiling began to glow with a gentle amber light. Seconds later the wall sank back and slid to the side with a hiss of air, revealing a brightly illuminated inner room.

John couldn't resist grinning: first the door outside and now this one. He loved the fact that he could jumpstart most Ancient technology. It just never got old. "Let's take a look inside."

As they moved into the room, Elizabeth turned to gaze around her. "No wonder you all enjoy going on missions so much. Are all of the Ancient ruins this magnificent?"

The decor of the large room was in keeping with the embellishment of the hallway outside. Large, overstuffed recliners were scattered over a dusty but plush wheat-colored carpet, and the walls were clad with gleaming panels of wood, glistening golden in the reflected light of the overhead lamps.

"Nope, Elizabeth, we got this place especially for you."

Elizabeth's eyes sparkled. "Why thank you, Major."

"You got it."

After satisfying himself that there were no other doors and nothing immediately threatening them, he clicked his radio on. "Ford, what's your status?"

"Almost there, sir."

"Good." John nodded and cautiously sank into one of the chairs, sighing in pleasure as he pushed back in his chair and propped his long legs up on an ottoman. He rested his head back, looking at Aleia, standing uncertainly by the door. "You can come in. I think it's safe for now."

She stepped tentatively into the room, gazing around her.

John settled his shoulders into the chair and drawled, "You know, the Ancients really knew class, didn't they? If only I had a cigar." He smiled broadly up at Elizabeth.

She shook her head with amusement, taking John's cue and starting to relax. "I'm sorry, Major, I left all my cigars in my other jacket."

Rodney was murmuring in excitement as he scurried around the room, looking at inscriptions and studying the intricately carved statuary mounted in the walls behind each chair. Elizabeth glanced at the one behind her and called over to him, "What do you think, Rodney? Any clues as to how the settlement is protected?"

Rodney passed his hand around the room. "I'm not sure, but we might be able to find out. I think that this," he swept his hand around the room, "is a library."

Elizabeth felt a wave of relief. Maybe they would actually find something helpful on this trip after all. She sank into the recliner next to John's and pushed her hands into her dark hair, fluffing it out around her head. "It's so luxurious."

John mumbled contentedly, "It's the Barnes and Noble of the Pegasus Galaxy." This was the part of the mission where he could let Rodney take over for a while. He'd learned when to stand back and let the man work. He shut his eyes and savored the comfort of his chair. He had a fleeting desire to take off his boots, but he figured he should spare his teammates, at least until his backup arrived.

Aleia frowned. "What is Barnes and Noble?"

John smiled. "A place with lots of comfy chairs."

Rodney snorted. "It's a place with lots of books."

Elizabeth looked around the room. "So, I see the chairs. Where are the books?"

Rodney grimaced and held up a finger. "Well, therein lies the rub, if you will." He ran his hand along a tall cabinet near the center of the room. "I think this is all data storage in here. The Ancients were so efficient at data storage that you could probably fit every bit of literature, audio or video ever created by humans in every language for the last thousand years into this little cabinet. With room to spare." He leaned his stocky frame into the cabinet and looked down at it longingly. "I'm not sure how to get at it though. You'll have to give me some time."

John opened one eye to look at Rodney. "Would they keep weapons research in there?"

"What did I just say, huh? I have to get it open before I'll know anything." Rodney shook his head and ran his hand over the inlaid wooden facade of the cabinet, muttering. "With our luck it will be something useless like art or music."

Elizabeth cocked an eyebrow and met eyes with John.

He smirked, "I wouldn't mind hearing some new tunes."

Rodney shook his head. "There may be aesthetic advantages to uncovering Ancient masterpieces but they wouldn't help us fight the Wraith, would they? Regardless, there's no access panel here. It might be a wireless connection or it might be telepathically controlled... That would be a little harder to access." He sighed and turned back to look back at Elizabeth. "SG-1 ran into some Ancient databases that allowed for direct download of information into the mind of the receiver. But in those cases there was so much data that it was nearly fatal."

Elizabeth nodded, remembering the sight of General O'Neill frozen in the lab in Antarctica, his mind so burdened with Ancient knowledge that he had been forced to go into suspended animation to survive. She sighed with disappointment. "So, we can't get at this information?" She looked down at the soft fabric of the chair she was sitting in, and rubbed her hand over it in appreciation.

"Okay, hello? I never said that. Look, I just got here. Give me some time to examine it." He pulled out his scanner and walked around the room muttering. "There isn't anything else in the room that has even the tiniest energy signature. It'd be nice to find one of those interfaces O'Neill used, but there's nothing like that here."

Elizabeth heaved a sigh. "Even if there was, we wouldn't want to risk using it. We don't have the luxury of having an Asgard fleet commander around to help us if our brains overload." She looked over at John pensively. He frowned back at her, chewing on his lip the way he always did when he was thinking. She sighed, "Well, just be careful what you touch."

He didn't look up, but she heard Rodney mutter sarcastically, "Yes, thank you."

She glanced at John and he rolled his eyes.

Elizabeth considered getting up to help Rodney, but she knew he would just push her aside. She also knew when to stand back and let him work. So, she and John let Rodney work and enjoyed the respite. Eventually even Aleia succumbed to temptation and settled into a seat.

A short time later they all looked up as Lieutenant Ford, Teyla Emmagan and Carson Beckett entered the room, looking around in amazement. Carson exclaimed in his gentle brogue, "This is fabulous."

Rodney popped his head up and grinned at the physician. "Carson! Pull up a chair." He sank down next to the data cabinet again and continued scanning it.

John nodded to Lieutenant Ford. "Anything to report?"

"No, sir, and Waters reports the stargate is secure."

John beckoned to Ford and Teyla. "Well, come on in and get comfortable. McKay's in his groove, so we'll be here a while."

Although Teyla remained guarded and lingered by the door, Ford didn't hesitate to bounce into a seat, grinning widely. "Nice! About time we found a new place to hang."

John jerked a thumb towards Rodney. "That's just what McKay said."

Rodney looked up in indignation. "I did not!" He considered the room, "But it does seem fairly high-end, doesn't it?"

Carson headed toward a recliner near Rodney, its plush surface decorated with golden scrollwork and glinting threads. He tentatively sat down and smiled. "This is absolutely lovely. Do you think there are many spots like this on this planet?"

John muttered from his chair. "Depends on how many rich folks lived here."

Elizabeth sighed. "From what I understand, the people of Atlantis didn't have a class system. Everyone was prosperous and followed their own interests."

From his place by the cabinet, which evidently did have an access panel, because it was now lying beside him, Rodney said, "Ah well, Carson, no special doctor's privileges for you then." He grinned and switched on his flashlight, shining it into the data unit.

Carson sighed with mock indignation. "Aye, and it certainly hasn't helped my golf game a bit."

Elizabeth smiled. It was nice to see the group relax a little. "Actually, Carson, my understanding is that the Ancients were all very healthy before they came to Earth. I wonder if they would even have had many physicians." She paused. "Could the Alelic people be descendents of the Ancients? Aleia, do your people have any stories of your ancestors, about how they learned to live so long?"

Aleia shook her head wordlessly, staring in fascination at the crystalline innards of the cabinet Rodney was working on.

Over by the door, Teyla frowned pensively and glanced behind her, and that grabbed John's attention. When Teyla looked worried it usually meant trouble.

He cut off Carson's next comment and leaned forward in his chair. "Teyla?"

She met his eyes and shook her head slightly, passing her hand through her auburn hair wearily. "It is nothing, Major. I just had an odd feeling, and it has passed. Perhaps I am tired. Please, Doctor Beckett, continue."

Carson hesitated and then started again. "Well, I was going to say that the Ancients couldn't heal every illness or injury. Otherwise there'd have been no need for their infirmary or the advanced medical equipment in Atlantis."

Elizabeth sighed, "But wouldn't it be marvelous to learn all those secrets of the Ancients, to be able to heal people with just your mind? What I wouldn't give to know how they did it."

Carson smiled, "Aye, Elizabeth, I wish you could learn the fine art of healing as well. I would love your company in the infirmary." He pushed himself back in his chair, closing his eyes. He snapped them back open when he heard Aleia cry out in terror and bolt out of the room. "What...?"

Rodney looked in amazement at the inner workings of the cabinet, which had suddenly glowed to life. He turned towards Carson and saw that his recliner was ablaze with light. "That's a control chair!"

Carson looked down at his chair in confusion. "What the...?"

Across the room Elizabeth struggled with a metallic arm that had uncurled from one of the decorative sculptures on the wall behind her. It had unfolded like a flower and wrapped around her head, covering her face completely. John was already out of his seat and tugging at it. Teyla darted forward to join him.

John looked back at Carson and bellowed, "Sit up, Beckett, turn it off!"

Carson leapt out of the chair and it switched off. The hood over Elizabeth's face immediately folded back, the silver snake-like arm shrinking and curling up and away back into the wall.

Carson stared at the chair in misery. "That's it! I refuse to get into another chair in this cursed galaxy ever again!" He whirled towards Elizabeth with concern.

She was sprawled limp on her chair, her face flushed, her eyes rolled up. He rushed over to her side to feel her pulse. "Elizabeth, can you hear me?" Her lips parted and she let out a long breath.

John stared down at her in shock. "Dammit, I knew this was too good to be true." He looked up at Ford, "We're going, now." He grabbed Carson's shoulder. "Is it safe to move her?"

Carson looked back down at her silently writhing form and nodded. "I think so..."

John bent down and scooped Elizabeth up in his arms. "Let's go."

He turned and stopped short when he found the exit blocked by Aleia and several villagers, holding what were unmistakably Wraith stunners. "What the hell?"

Aleia's playful shyness was gone, and she looked ten years older. John sucked in a breath, realizing he'd been tricked. Aleia set her jaw, raised her staff towards him and everything went black.

* * *

Elizabeth was screaming. Or she would have been screaming, if she could have heard herself, or knew where her mouth even was.

Because she couldn't feel her mouth, or her face, or her body, or even the feeling of air going in and out of her lungs. Or maybe she was feeling those things, but she was feeling so very much it was hard to tell. She could feel every movement that every hair on her head had ever made, every breath she ever had taken, every jump or run or crouch or squat her legs had ever performed. She could feel with perfect clarity every cramp, climax, tickle, gurgle, sniff, cough, stretch, itch and twist. All at once. So she could feel everything and nothing, because whatever she was feeling now was lost in the ocean of sensations gathered over an entire lifetime.

And her eyes... her eyes were overwhelmed by the white hot Jackson Pollack overlay of every image she had ever seen or imagined. Every face, place, program and fantasy swirling and seething in an IMAX screen around her mind. She could see John reclining in the Ancient library and she could see the cake her mother had made for her first birthday. The entirety of every movie she'd ever seen was playing over the images of every college class and party she'd attended. The day-to-day tedium of the commute to and from her first job was overlaid with the Technicolor dreams of every night of her adolescent years.

She couldn't block out the images, and even if she could, she would still have been engulfed by the sounds and smells and tastes of a lifetime. All mixed together but distinct, an infinity of swirled particulate sensation.

She thought she must be screaming, because she was sure she would explode from the pulsating cacophony of light and color and rhythm and music and noise and salt and sweet and pain and pleasure.

But then suddenly she was in silence, and dark, and nothing. And she wanted to scream. But she didn't know if she even had a voice anymore. Because now there was nothing. And she was nothing. Nothing at all.

Slowly, slowly, after an eternity of nothing and no one and never there was something there. It was an odor. And it was distinct and significant and recognizable. And she knew with utter certainty that she was not alone.

More odors began coming to her in a rush. She could smell the tang of sweat of the people near her, and the coppery scent of the blood in their veins. Or was that her own blood? She thought it must be hers, because it smelled a bit like lilac. But that wasn't right, was it? And there was an overlay of the salt sea smell of the ocean of an alien planet. And a host of smoky unfamiliar memories just out of reach.

She felt a warm shock of recognition when she recognized John Sheppard was nearby, the unmistakable and tantalizing combination of masculine pheromones and gun oil and soap and aftershave and sweat and cotton. And he was frightened. Which didn't seem like him. Why was he afraid?

She wanted to call out to him, to ask him if he was dead as well. To tell him she wasn't in pain and that everything would be all right. But she was still mostly nothing, and had no voice or body.

So she drank in the essence of John Sheppard, and contented herself that he was nearby, and that, at least for now, there was no pain.

* * *

John slowly came awake and blinked, disoriented. He grunted as he struggled to sit up on the hard-packed floor and looked around the whitewashed walls of the small, bare room. There was a water basin and a bucket in one corner, and dim light filtered in through several small windows set high in the wall. A few feet away, Rodney lay on his back, his mouth hanging open and slack as he snored. The moments before John lost consciousness suddenly came flooding back to him and he whipped his head around in sudden fear, sighing with relief as he saw Elizabeth curled up on her side near the wall behind him. He crawled over to her and pulled her head and shoulders into his arms.

"Elizabeth?" He smoothed her hair away from her face and felt for the pulse at her neck. As his head cleared he studied the room around him again. There was a tall rectangular crevice in one wall that he guessed represented a door. He instinctively reached for his radio but wasn't surprised it was gone, along with his jacket, supplies and weapons. He was cold in only his shirt and trousers and boots, and he settled his back against the wall, taking Elizabeth with him, pulling her up onto his lap with her back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, trying to warm her as the cold of the floor and wall sucked some of his own body heat away. He worried for the rest of his team, and he cursed himself for having been fooled by Aleia and her people. They'd said they hadn't been visited by the Wraith, which was obviously not true.

After a few minutes, Rodney grunted and rolled onto his side. "What happened?"

"We got conned... again."

Rodney's head popped up. "They had stunners."

"I noticed."

"How'd they all get there so fast?"

"I don't know. Maybe they were following us the whole time. Aleia might have been wired."

Rodney groaned and rubbed the back of his head as he pushed himself up to sitting. "Everything's tingling. And I think I hit my head. Seriously, Major, this year with you has been unbelievably bad for my health. My cumulative brain damage is going to be reaching a critical level very soon."

"Soon?"

"Oh, nice. So, how is she..." Rodney squinted at John. "What are you doing?"

"Uh..." John squinted back at him. "What?"

Rodney gestured to Elizabeth. "What are you doing with Elizabeth?"

John rolled his eyes. "I'm keeping her off the cold floor."

"Is that all?" Rodney flinched at John's expression. "Well, come on, Major, given your behavior of late it's only natural that I thought..."

John felt his face flush with anger. "Do you want me to punch you in the mouth, McKay?" He shook his head. "Jeez, I'm keeping her warm. She's out cold. Fully dressed. Here are my hands, see? Nothin' goin' on. Get your goddamned mind out of the gutter."

Rodney swallowed, taken aback. "Well, I..." He rubbed his neck again and muttered, "How is she?"

"Unconscious. Like I said."

"It's cold."

"Yeah. Like I said."

"Sorry."

"You should be."

Rodney stood shakily and then sat down just as shakily next to John, rubbing his hands together and watching his breath fog faintly in front of him. He sat rigidly in silence for a moment, his arm about a millimeter from John's and then began stammering, "Listen, it's pretty cold, and we don't want to get hypothermic, but I wouldn't want you to get the wrong idea or anything..."

John narrowed his eyes and snorted. "You are absolutely unbelievable." He sighed heavily, willing his anger to subside. "You can lean against me for warmth, McKay, I'll still respect you in the morning."

Rodney hesitated, and then scooted over to press his entire right side against John's left. "Sorry, it's just..."

"Yeah, cold." John wrapped his arms more tightly around Elizabeth, pressing his cheek against her neck as her head lolled on his chest. Her hair smelled like flowers. He wondered vaguely if she'd smuggled some fancy shampoo into her pack. Although Rodney was totally out-of-line suggesting he'd take advantage of her when she was unconscious, John had to admit to himself that he liked holding Elizabeth in his arms like this. It felt... right.

Beside him Rodney drew up his legs and wrapped his arms around himself, his teeth chattering.

Rodney leaned his burly frame against John's lanky one and they sat in tense silence, shoulder-to-shoulder, drawing warmth and strength from the other, angry with each other but sharing their misery over their situation. They'd been through enough together to appreciate the support the other could give, but the constant fighting since John's affair with Chaya had taken its toll on their friendship, so there would be no words of comfort forthcoming. As Rodney leaned against him, John regretted that the camaraderie and trust between them had broken down so badly. He had started to get accustomed to Rodney's peculiarities, and they both owed the other their lives several times over. And he hated to admit it, but Rodney had been right about Chaya. Sort of.

Rodney's teeth finally stopped chattering long enough for him to nod towards Elizabeth and say, "Do you think she'll wake up soon?"

John craned his head back to study the side of her face. She looked peaceful enough. "I don't know. What the hell was that thing?"

Rodney shook his head, "I think it was a terminal. For downloading knowledge."

John tore his eyes away from Elizabeth's limp body to growl at Rodney. "I thought you said they didn't have anything like that in that library."

Rodney winced. "I didn't see it. It must have been completely shut down because there were no energy readings whatsoever. Look, I was only working in that room for ten or fifteen minutes; you can't blame me for this."

John looked back up at the door that was, despite his mental urging, still shut. "I'm not blaming you," he said wearily. "Tell me about this download thing."

"Colonel O'Neill... I mean, General O'Neill... he interfaced with an Ancient device that downloaded the Ancient database directly into his brain, giving him access to a complete storehouse of technology and knowledge." Rodney grinned slightly, warming to the subject. "It was actually pretty amazing. He built a device to power the gate to the Asgard, he powered the first control chair, modified a ship to increase its speed in hyperspace..."

John sighed, "Rodney."

"You have somewhere to be?" Rodney frowned, annoyed at the interruption. He continued, "Interestingly, he was even able to heal a colleague using only his mind. Can you imagine? But, there was so much information that it started rewriting the circuitry of his brain just to house it all and it overloaded his ability to think or communicate. The Asgard were able to remove the download eventually but it almost killed him."

"The Asgard are a bunch of aliens, right?"

"Yes. You'd like them, Major. They look just like the aliens in 'Close Encounters'."

John winced. "Sounds creepy. Listen, Elizabeth said they don't come around this part of the universe."

"No."

"So we're on our own for this one." John tightened his grip on Elizabeth slightly and leaned his forehead against her hair, hoping Rodney didn't see the depth of fear he felt for her. He took a breath and then looked back up at Rodney. "Wait a minute. O'Neill has the Ancient gene, right?"

"As far as I know. He's able to use the technology."

"So why'd this thing grab Elizabeth, and not me or Carson, or for that matter, you?"

Rodney frowned and looked back at Elizabeth. "That is a good question."

* * *

Elizabeth floated in a sea of aromas and sounds. The black silence of localizing odors had given way to a soft symphony of sound and color as well. She could still smell John Sheppard but there was an added texture now. His masculine scents had overtones of cinnamon and russet and gold and a low, clear sound that reminded her of the French horn her best friend had played in high school. And she could hear his breathing, a slow steady maroon sound that was regular and quiet and tasted like almonds. His heart was beating slow, salty and steady, and she could taste his insides gurgling with a purple tinkling sweetness of hunger and loneliness. She mourned for his sadness, and wished she could send him some of her own lilac coolness to comfort him.

She wanted to tell him he sounded like mahogany chocolate, and how happy he made her by being there with her.

Somewhere, far in the back of her mind, she was hopelessly confused.

* * *

John and Rodney both looked up as the door opened and Carson stumbled in, the door slamming behind him. Carson's attention focused immediately on Elizabeth and he knelt beside John to take her head in his hands. "Has she woken up, yet?"

"No. I've been trying to keep her warm."

"That's good."

John watched Carson fussing over Elizabeth in silence for a few moments, knowing in his heart that there was nothing to be done for her. He looked up at Carson's face, and winced at the blood streaked down the side of his face and neck. His shirt was dark with it. He took a deep breath. "And a fine hello to you as well, Doctor Beckett. What happened to you?"

Carson looked up at John sharply and then put up a hand to tentatively touch the gash on his temple. "It looks worse than it is. I'll be fine. Are you all right? You took that stunner blast at close range. That can't have been pleasant."

Rodney raised a hand. "He's fine, but I banged my head, thanks for asking." He frowned at the doctor uneasily. "Your head really doesn't look so good."

John studied Carson. He was stripped of his gear as well but didn't have any other obvious injuries. "Are you sure you're okay? What about Teyla and Ford, have you seen them? Everyone all right?"

"Aye on all counts." Carson looked at Rodney with concern and then back at John. "But we're in a pickle for sure."

"Yeah, I figured. What's goin' on?"

Carson pulled up one of Elizabeth's eyelids and peered at the eye underneath. "The man I've been working with in the village, Alune, maybe he can help us. I've asked for them to send for him. The village council is very unhappy that we went into that room. I tried to explain."

"What'd you tell them?"

Carson pulled up Elizabeth's wrist, checking her pulse. "I told him that we were explorers, that we wanted to help them, and that I set off the machine purely by accident."

"You shouldn't have involved yourself like that."

Carson muttered angrily, "I'm bloody well involved so there's no point in chastising me now, is there?" He leaned forward, pressing an ear against Elizabeth's chest to listen to her heart and lungs.

After a moment he pulled back and started rubbing at her arms. "Evidently no outsiders are supposed to be able to work the Ancient technology and they're angry we managed to get inside the structure."

Rodney choked incredulously. "Well, then why did they let us go in there in the first place? I told them I could figure it out."

John sighed. "They don't know you like we do, McKay. They probably figured we'd give up and leave."

"That was almost a compliment, Major. I'm touched."

"Don't let it go to your head."

Carson looked up at John intently. "They're especially upset that we aren't all family. They were extremely interested in Teyla for some reason, and they wanted to know how she and the others were related to you, Major. When they said they weren't, the villagers ordered her and the rest of your men to go back through the gate. They're using us as hostages." He gestured apologetically to his head wound. "They wanted to show Lieutenant Ford they were serious."

Rodney pondered that. "They only want his relatives?"

"Don't ask me why." Carson moved down to push Elizabeth's legs up and down, bending them at the knees. "I said I was your second cousin, once removed." He looked up apologetically. "I said the ATA gene is what marks our family."

John frowned. "Once removed... what does that mean again?"

Rodney threw up his hands. "That's just great. Now I'm stuck here too. What did you tell them about me, that I'm his half-brother from the smart side of the family?"

Carson shook his head. "They didn't ask."

John looked at Rodney in annoyance. "You're breakin' my heart, McKay." Rodney made a face. John glanced back down at Carson. "You think they'll let us send Elizabeth back through the gate with the others?"

Carson started gently rotating Elizabeth's ankles in little circles. "I already suggested it, but she's the one they want to keep here the most."

John worked his jaw, angry. "Well, that's no good." He looked down at Carson's hands working Elizabeth's feet. "What are you doing with her legs?"

"Just moving them a bit, I wouldn't want her to get a blood clot."

Rodney moved closer. "Is she going to wake up?"

"I don't know what's wrong with her."

Rodney worked his mouth for a moment and then said hesitantly, "What, is she dying?"

John looked at Carson in sudden fear and silently cursed Rodney for asking the one question he'd been too afraid to ask.

Carson shook his head. "Honestly? I don't know. I need to get her back to Atlantis."

"This is ridiculous." Rodney pushed his hands through his hair in frustration. "Look, I thought these people were great healers or something."

Carson looked down at Elizabeth with anxiety. "I'm thinking they aren't very much in the mood to help any of us."

John grimaced and thought about what McKay had said about the Ancient downloads. It was so unfair that Elizabeth should be killed by something so innocuous as a high-tech library book. After all they'd been through. He never did tell her what he'd wanted to all those times and he cursed himself for it. He never seemed to say what he needed to before the people he cared about died or left him. And they always did.

Although he relished holding Elizabeth, he was starting to get a cramp. With Carson's help he adjusted Elizabeth's position, so that she was now cradled in his arms across his lap. Carson took her pulse again, and then stood and went back to the door and banged against it a few times without success. Rodney muttered something to excuse himself and went to the corner to use the crude facilities.

John looked down at Elizabeth's face, so close to his own. "C'mon Elizabeth," he thought, "Wake up so I can tell you how great you are." As if on cue, she frowned slightly and took a gasping breath, blinking against the light. Her eyes flared wide and she locked John's gaze in hers.

"John?" she whispered.

"Yeah, it's me." He whispered back. "You scared me."

She wetted her lips and looked at him earnestly. "John, you sound like chocolate. I wanted to tell you but I was dead."

"What?" John didn't take his eyes off her and called to Carson. "She's awake." He leaned down closer to her. "Okay, Elizabeth? I take it back. You're still scaring me."

Elizabeth gazed up at John's face in wonder. At that moment, he was by far the most heartbreakingly beautiful thing she had ever seen. She felt that she was only truly seeing him for the first time, because her senses had all blossomed to a soul-shattering intensity that she never could have imagined was possible. She felt she could look into his eyes for days and not see all the colors of his irises... she had previously thought of them as a greenish hazel. But that was a woefully inadequate description. There were flecks of moss and forest green, copper and sienna, olive and jade and emerald and gold swirling in radial rings, a kaleidoscope of jeweled tones. And his eyes were constricting and dilating in little stutters as his gaze passed over her face. She could hear the blood singing in the capillaries ringing his ink black pupils, and she could feel the light flooding off of her face and flowing into his eyes, and it was glorious. And he was glorious.

But behind his eyes she could feel his fear. But she had been wrong before, his fear wasn't for himself, it was for her. For himself he had only the cold comfort of his own solitude. Looking at his beautiful, sad face, she felt a shudder of feeling shoot through and down to her core.

Her own eyes flicked back and forth between his, unable to choose which eye was the more amazing to study. She put one hand against his chest and felt, heard and saw his heart beating there, strong and steady. She looked up at him. "Vous n'etes pas seul." She reached her other hand up to rest on the side of his face. "Te amo. Dulce et decorum est."

John looked back down at her, confused and worried. He'd understood that last bit (sweet and proper?), but he was definitely... confused. Her eyes were welling with tears and he gently wiped them away with his thumb.

Carson knelt beside them and asked, "Are you in any pain?"

She reluctantly dropped her hand away from John's face and slowly turned to look at Carson. She gasped. "Carson, I vostri occhi sono bei."

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that."

"Sus ojos..." She paused and frowned. "Ihre Augen sind schön."

Carson looked back at John. "That's a bit odd."

"Yeah. I think she speaks like ten languages or something."

"I think she's said that she likes my eyes."

John shrugged. "They're very blue."

"Aye, they're my mother's." Carson turned back to Elizabeth. "Can you speak in English?"

"Of course." She smiled at him weakly.

"That's my girl. Are you in any pain?"

"I fly forty whistles."

Carson drew back. "That can't be right."

She laughed softly, "Luctor et emergo."

John studied Elizabeth anxiously. "Could you stop with the Latin?"

She turned back to look at him, her eyes shining. "I'm sorry. I... everything is so beautiful and mixed-up. God, John, you are gorgeous. I could look at you for days. Silent cinnamon."

John's brow creased with worry. He supposed he should be flattered, but this wasn't like Elizabeth, not at all. "Okay... I... thanks, I guess." He grimaced and looked back up at Carson for help. "Before... she said I sound like chocolate. She's not making sense."

Carson nodded thoughtfully. "She's had a bit of a jolt."

Elizabeth shook her head at John. "No, you do sound like chocolate... and you sing with baking bread. And Carson is a cool breeze of blue and apple pie and the taste of diamonds. I can feel you, both of you, I can see and hear and feel you, your bodies, your hearts, and the lights... it's... wonderful." She suddenly clutched John's shirt urgently and leaned up towards him. "John, before... I could only smell you, and I thought you were dead too."

Carson squeezed her shoulder. "You're not dead."

John grimaced. "I smell dead?"

Rodney finished his business and hurried back to kneel beside them. "How is she?"

John frowned. "She smells dead people."

Elizabeth laughed again. "You all look so beautiful. So many colors."

John squinted up at Carson. "She seems kinda stoned."

"Aye."

John looked up at Rodney. "She's talking in all different languages. She was just doin' Latin, you missed it."

Rodney tensed. "Are you sure it wasn't Ancient? Ancient sounds like Latin."

John shook his head. "Pretty sure it was plain old Latin. I took some in high school."

"What'd she say?"

John cringed. "Stuff." He wasn't about to say she'd said she loved him.

"Huh?"

Elizabeth laughed again. "Rodney, vy golodny ee bezhite purpur"

John shrugged anxiously. "See what I mean? What was that?"

Rodney shrugged. "I think she said I'm hungry and run purple. That's gibberish. Maybe she has brain damage or something."

John made a face. "You know what, McKay? Could you just not talk for a while?"

"I'm trying to be helpful."

Elizabeth glanced up at Carson's concerned frown, and her smile turned comforting. "Carson, please don't worry. I really am fine. I'm just trying to... reconnect my thoughts. There is so much to take in. Everything started and stopped and started again and it's all a jumble." She started suddenly, "Oh, Carson. Oh, God, you're hurt. It's so hard to concentrate... I'm so sorry."

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not, you have a concussion. You shouldn't have fought them." She pushed herself up slightly and beckoned Carson down towards her. "Come here."

She reached up and put a hand on either side of his face. For a moment John and Rodney both thought she was going to kiss him, but instead she closed her eyes, muttering softly to herself in a sing-song voice. "Cool blue and whale song."

Carson moved to pull her hands away but then caught his breath. "What did you just do?"

Before their eyes, the gash on Carson's temple slowly zipped closed from one end to another, the skin meshing together and knitting until the skin was left unmarked.

Elizabeth smiled sweetly at him. "Better now?" She sank back down into John's embrace and yawned, "I'm so tired." She turned her face into John's shirt, nuzzled him slightly, and fell asleep.

The three men stared speechless at her now tranquil features and then at each other.

John found his voice first. "What the hell just happened here?"

Rodney stammered, "Carson, your wound. It's completely gone."

Carson felt the intact skin of his temple in confusion and wonder. "She was right, I believe I did have a concussion. But she just... switched it off."

John momentary annoyance that Carson had hidden the severity of his injury was overcome by his astonishment at its repair. He looked down at Elizabeth's contented face. "Like an Ancient. The Ancients could do that, fix people with their minds, right? What'd that thing in the library do to her?"

Carson ran a hand through his hair. "Since the accident I've been thinking that the reason this all happened is because I told Elizabeth I wanted her in the infirmary with me. I thought that the room attacked her solely to injure her. But now..."

Rodney snorted. "Somehow I find it difficult to believe that the Ancients would set up a database just so that one person could assault another person with it."

"Aye, I agree, but it had passed through my mind."

"No, no, no, I've been thinking about this as well and..." Rodney snapped his fingers. "Wait, if we use the library analogy... what if what you were sitting in was the Librarian's Chair? When you mentioned the infirmary you were hooking her into the system." He looked back at John with excitement. "This is what happened to O'Neill. Just more focused. Major, are you sure she wasn't speaking Ancient?"

"Yeah, pretty sure."

Carson nodded slowly, "Remember, she'd said she wanted to learn how the Ancients healed people."

"Right! And you said..."

John started. "You said you wished she could learn it too!"

Rodney looked down at Elizabeth in wonder. "Carson, I think you just taught her Ancient medicine. A direct download."

John chewed his lip. "I know Kung Fu."

Rodney turned slowly towards John, incredulous. "What?"

"You know, like in The Matrix. Knowledge download. 'I know Kung Fu'."

Rodney stared at him briefly. "I cannot believe that you are in charge of me."

"Deal with it."

Carson's brow furrowed, lost in thought. "This shouldn't be possible."

John worked his jaw. "I thought this stuff only works if you have the ATA gene."

Rodney shook his head rapidly, "No, I think in this case only the librarian would need the gene." He looked at Elizabeth. "I think what she was describing... it's like a reboot to her brain. She said she was reconnecting her thoughts. Like a restart on a laptop."

John sucked in a breath. He appreciated that Rodney could figure this stuff out but he didn't have to sound so excited about it. Elizabeth was hurt, for God's sake. "What's that going to do to her? Will she end up like O'Neill?"

Carson frowned, "I honestly don't know."

Rodney shook his head. "I'd bet money that O'Neill was thinking something like, 'Golly, what's in here?' or something stupid and non-specific like that when he accessed the system, and so he got the whole database download. The entire... operating system. All she got was a new software bundle. She might be able to handle it."

John nodded down at her. "What's all this stuff about chocolate and dead people?"

"I don't know. Maybe all the software isn't online yet. Or it isn't compatible."

Carson rubbed his forehead. "It's called synethesia. Tasting shapes, hearing colors and the like. It worries me, I will tell you."

John looked down at Elizabeth and his heart clenched. "Come on back," he urged her with his mind, "Come back like you were."

But this time, Elizabeth's only response was to sigh softly and nuzzle his chest again, a ghost of a smile on her lips.

* * *

John awoke with a start. He had asked Carson to keep watch while he took a quick nap, more drained by the stun blast than he had first realized. He peeked one eye open and grimaced when he realized Rodney had his head on his shoulder, and was snoring gently.

"He fell asleep right after you did." Carson said softly. He was sitting on John's other side, holding Elizabeth.

"He's drooling on me. People are going to talk... more." He grinned lopsidedly and cocked a thumb towards Rodney's face, which was digging into his shoulder uncomfortably. "I'd wake him up but I like him better this way. Quieter."

Carson smiled faintly and nodded.

John looked down at Elizabeth, sleeping happily in Carson's arms. "Anything happening?"

"She woke up briefly and seemed a bit more coherent."

"That's good, I guess." John grimaced, upset that he had missed her when she had been awake. "Listen, what'd you tell these people, exactly?"

"Not much. They seemed to know the whole story in any case. Aleia must have told them what happened."

John frowned. "They got there too fast. You think they had us bugged or somethin'?"

"I don't know."

John looked at Elizabeth, and wanted to hold her again. He glanced back up at Carson, and tried to be nonchalant about it. "You need a break?"

"No, I'm fine, thank you. To be honest, she's keeping me warm."

John nodded unhappily and paused. "So, what does that mean, second cousin once-removed?"

Carson smiled. "We would share the same great-grandparent as a relative, but be of separate generations."

"Aren't you about my age?"

Carson shrugged. "I don't think they would have believed me in any case."

John heard Rodney mumble into his shirt sleeve, "I'd hate to admit it but we're all probably related somehow."

Now that Rodney was awake John shrugged him off his shoulder with annoyance, brushing at his sleeve. "Jeez, Rodney, you drooled all over me."

Rodney wiped at his chin unapologetically. "It's your rugged good looks."

John looked at Carson. "See what I mean? This is where rumors start."

Rodney rubbed his head and yawned. "I mean think about it: Beckett, Sheppard, and McKay... all Anglo-Saxon names. Look, I realize I got the ATA gene artificially, but the Toronto McKays trace back to Scotland."

Carson grunted.

"And Sheppard, what is that, English?"

"Yeah, I think so. And my mom was second-generation Irish."

"O'Neill had the gene. O'Neill's got to be Irish or something. And there's Stackhouse and Miller. Think about it."

Carson frowned. "There are a lot of Weir's in Scotland, but Elizabeth doesn't have the gene."

Rodney rolled his eyes impatiently. "Hello, are you listening? I wasn't born with the gene either. I'm just saying there seems to be a non-random correlation. Although I do realize the American military population might be a little biased toward the Anglo constituent." He glanced at John in contempt.

John made a face and decided not to dignify the comment with an answer. "What, so you're saying the Ancients were all Brits?"

Carson shook his head. "My understanding is that all Homo sapiens on Earth have been traced to a few women in Asia or Africa. And the Ancients had gates in Egypt and Antarctica."

Rodney shook his head. "For all we know the Goa'uld moved the gates later on. Who knows where they originally were set?" He shrugged. "None of it really makes sense. I mean, why is Ancient so similar to Latin? Latin isn't ten thousand years old."

Carson frowned for a moment, "Ten thousand years ago the most advanced civilizations weren't in Europe. On the other hand... Britain is an island. The isolation might have reduced the genotypic diversity of a trait that was previously more widespread."

John frowned. "Can you say that in English?"

"I'm saying the Britons stayed on the island and concentrated the gene there."

Rodney rolled his eyes again. "Yes, we Anglos are all horribly inbred. Thus explaining our penchant for going on stupid life-threatening missions to other galaxies."

John smirked. "Inbreeding would explain the whole beans-on-toast thing...and haggis."

Carson sighed. "Yanks."

John grinned and pushed himself up, shaking his head. "That's it. I'm sick of bein' trapped in here with you foreigners."

Rodney snorted indignantly, crossing his arms and the corner of his mouth quirked up. "I was just thinking the same thing."

John chuckled and worked the kinks out of his back as he went to the door. He pounded his fist on its surface.

To his surprise, the door swung open and Aleia stepped into the room with a tall ruddy man. He had a shock of dark hair and was wearing a tunic of the same blue roughly-woven fabric Aleia had worn since they met her. John could see two men holding stunners in the hallway outside and he backed up slightly as they entered. He positioned himself between the newcomers and his people.

Carson looked up. "Alune. I was getting worried."

Alune's face fell. "Carson Beckett. I must apologize. I am sorry I was not there to stop the others from wounding you."

The man walked slowly towards Carson, and John angrily hastened to block his way. "You stay away from them, at least 'til I get some answers. Like, why the hell did your people attack us?"

Alune held his hands up, "I am unarmed." He nodded to the two men with the stunners and they backed out of the room and closed the door. Alune sighed, "John Sheppard, I am sorry you have been kept here like this. The council has been in angry debate over what to do with you." He nodded to Elizabeth. "She has awakened twice already, yes?"

John met eyes with Carson briefly and then started scanning the room. He still didn't see any bugs or cameras or listening ports but he thought they must be there. He looked back down at Alune, who was now kneeling beside Carson, resting his hand on Elizabeth's forehead.

John clenched his fists and stood over the group. "I said not to touch her."

Carson looked up at John reassuringly. "It's all right, Major, he's here to help us."

Alune sighed. "I am a healer. I promise you I mean you no harm. Any of you."

Rodney snorted. "You have an unusual way of showing your good intentions, don't you?"

Alune looked curiously at Carson. "She has already restored you. She truly does have the gift." He glanced down at Elizabeth's tranquil face. "She will rest easier now. She is in no pain but is still quite overwhelmed by what has happened to her."

John squatted down next to the group, his curiosity aroused. "How do you know that?"

Alune considered John thoughtfully. "You are not of the family, but you can light the Ancestors' devices. And you are not kin to each other."

Rodney waved his hand impatiently. "Actually, we are related. We just have a bigger population than you do, so our families are more... spread out."

Alune nodded and stood again. "Many of us were opposed to letting your companions return home, but we sensed that more would follow if your party disappeared completely. I am right?"

"Yeah." John pushed himself back up to his feet. "They won't leave us behind."

"We warned them not to send anyone else through, although we feel a rescue attempt is likely imminent."

John narrowed his eyes as he thought through possible strategies of their captors. If they didn't want them to leave, and they didn't want them to stay, and they didn't want any more visitors then one solution came unpleasantly to mind. "You're going to kill us and send our bodies through the gate."

Rodney sucked in a breath and smiled uneasily up at Alune and Aleia. "Come now, Major, let's not give them any ideas."

Alune sighed heavily. "To some here it would seem the only option." He held up a hand. "Aleia and I do not share this view. However, I sense that your people would not risk other lives for the sole purpose of revenge." He tilted his head in thought. "Although, you, John Sheppard, might not be so restrained."

John's anger flared again but before he could respond, Rodney pushed himself up to stand, waving his hands. "Wait, wait, wait, wait, how is it helpful to you people if we're dead? Obviously our people know you're here. So we found your little Ancient library. Fine. We'll leave it alone and we won't come back. What does it matter?"

Aleia spoke up. "You are of the kindred. I saw John Sheppard work the panels. You would expose us."

John chewed his lip, frustrated. "What about Elizabeth? She hasn't got the gene. Send her back."

Alune shook his head. "But you've given her the gift. She is as much a risk as any of you. More so. And without a lifetime to learn to control her powers, she would give us away to the Wraith. In fact," he gestured to the room, "the council has asked me to move you underground, in the small chance that the Wraith visit our world before we decide your fate. The earth will help to hide you." He sighed heavily.

Rodney flushed, his temper rising, "I thought the Wraith didn't bother you. That's the whole reason we came here."

John turned to Rodney menacingly, "Rodney."

"Oh come on, Major! It is glaringly obvious this man can read our minds. Am I right?"

Alune cocked his head at him and smiled grimly. "The Wraith have come to our world on many occasions, but we are always able to persuade them to leave peacefully. Sometimes they leave their equipment behind." He nodded to John. "That is how we came to possess their stunners."

John sucked in a breath. If they could read their minds it was a huge tactical disadvantage. They would know enough to follow them even if they did make an escape. "I wish you hadn't told me that. The more information you give us the easier it will be for your people to justify killing us."

Alune nodded towards Rodney. "Your friend McKay has already deduced the situation, I fear. I know how much these people mean to you, John Sheppard." He glanced at Elizabeth. "We may still find a way to save her. For now, I ask your cooperation. Will you come with us without resistance?"

John looked at Elizabeth, still sleeping peacefully in Carson's arms. "You already know I will." He walked over to Carson, picked her up carefully, and turned back to Alune. "Let's go."

Behind him Rodney sputtered in disbelief. "Major, you're not going to let them just lead us to the slaughter, are you?"

John hissed, "What do you want me to do, Rodney? They're armed and we aren't. They can read our minds, they know what tech we have, they know how we operate, and we've got wounded!" He nodded towards Elizabeth. "And you just can't turn off your damned brain long enough to keep us out of trouble! So for the last time, just shut up for once in your life and do what I tell you."

Rodney worked his jaw and after a moment nodded his head unhappily. "I'm doing this under protest."

"You can join Kavanaugh's club when we get home."

Rodney's face fell and he muttered, "That was uncalled for."

Alune cleared his throat. "Follow me."

* * *

"Oh yes, this is so much better." Rodney yanked at the heavy chain around his ankles with his shackled hands.

"Shut up, Rodney," John said irritably. He was worried now, more than ever, that he wasn't going to be able to get them home alive. But the fact that they had been chained before being left alone in the damp underground cave made him wonder whether the telepathic shielding effect Alune had attributed to the cave might work in their favor, hiding them from the minds of the Alelic people as well. For if they could constantly monitor their thoughts there would be no reason to chain them down. At least now they had been given some straw mattresses, blankets, water and food.

They had even put cuffs on Elizabeth, which made John hopeful that she'd be waking up soon. He looked up at the smooth rocky walls extending above them. A narrow folding stairway had been lowered to let them down here, but now it was pulled up to the ceiling, out of reach. They were definitely stuck.

John shooed Rodney away while he and Carson set to work getting Elizabeth comfortable. They had just finished tucking her in when Rodney shuffled back over, biting into what looked like a yellow apple. "I've had an idea."

John met eyes with Carson. "Is it helpful at all?"

Rodney shrugged. "No, but it explains a few things."

John looked down at the bindings around his own wrists in frustration. "Well, I obviously can't make you shut up."

"No, you can't. Look, we know that the Wraith are telepathically connected."

"Right."

"And Carson thinks the Wraith evolved from some hybrid of bug and human DNA."

Carson sighed impatiently. "What's your point, Rodney?"

"Well, haven't you ever wondered why a bug would be telepathic? Major, you saw that thing. It didn't exactly look like an intellectual powerhouse. It couldn't have had a brain bigger than a walnut."

John gritted his teeth. "Bugs have that 'hive mentality' thing. Anyway, it had to be telepathic, Rodney, it was sucking out my soul."

"No it wasn't," Rodney swallowed heavily and took another bite, talking with his mouth full. "It was paralyzing you, and killing you, but it wasn't aging you. It was just drawing energy from you, not your life force, or whatever you'd call it. I would bet the Ancients were telepathic at some point. Your girlfriend Chaya was able to read my mind. What if these people inherited that telepathic ability?"

John clenched his fists. "It's lucky for you that I am chained down."

"If we get out of this, Major, you are welcome to bully me all you like."

Carson let out a breath of annoyance. "For the love of God, could the two of you stop?" John and Rodney both turned to gape at him. He looked at them sternly. "You are both acting like bloody idiots! We are in a bad situation here, and I'd rather not spend what may possibly be my last day alive having to listen to the two of you bickering like old hens!"

He paused and waited for them to reply. They didn't. He took a deep breath. "Now, I agree with Rodney. This telepathy trait might explain their obsession with kindred. They might all carry a gene that allows them to communicate, something outsiders wouldn't be able to do. We need to convince them that we don't share the ability to mentally communicate with the Wraith."

John and Rodney remained silent for a moment. John bit his lip. "Sorry, Doc."

Rodney muttered unhappily, "Yes, sorry. Right." He took another bite of his fruit.

Carson held up his hand, "You are frustrated and frightened, I am too, but we need to keep our heads and a wee bit of perspective. Please."

John's mouth quirked up. "I thought you said you weren't telepathic, Doc."

Carson smiled but turned suddenly as Elizabeth let out a low groan.

John struggled over to her side and sank down next to her. "Elizabeth?"

She opened her eyes. "There you are. Hello, John."

"Uh... Hello." This wasn't a promising start. He licked his lips and finally said cautiously, "How are you doin'?"

Elizabeth thought for a moment. "Good. Really, really good. You didn't have to be so worried about me." She pulled her shackled hands out from under her blanket and rested them on her chest, looking at him expectantly.

John frowned. Her eyes were still widely dilated and she was looking at him with a steady fascination that was making him feel uncomfortably self-conscious. "Elizabeth, you've been kinda out of it. We're in sort of a jam or I would have taken you home. Sorry 'bout that."

She glanced down at her manacles. "I know, but I think we'll be able to go home soon. Most of the villagers don't want to hurt us. They just want to be safe from the Wraith."

Rodney leaned over John's shoulder to look at her. "How do you know that? And how exactly does that have anything to do with letting us go?"

She looked up at him and smiled. "This village, they're a family, and they are all moderately telepathic. When they work in telepathic unison they have a formidable group mind. They've been visited by the Wraith before and each time the family joins together to plant the suggestion that there is nothing of value on this world and the Wraith just... leave. I agree it's disappointing, because they won't be able to help us, and the library we found won't help us either."

Rodney looked down at his apple and then up at her sharply. "You agree?"

"That's what you were thinking, right?"

"You can read our minds too?"

She paused, pensive. "Yes. I guess I can. Neat."

Elizabeth struggled not to laugh as the realization that she could sense their thoughts hit the three men. Carson was simply stunned by her news, and Rodney had immediately started madly reciting some number, pi probably. But John's thoughts hammered her with perfect clarity. He was desperately trying to think of anything other than an explicit fantasy he had recently had involving Elizabeth, himself, and the balcony outside her office. Of course, he was failing miserably.

She managed to retain her composure and decided to have mercy on them. "Well, it's more a sense of what you are feeling than exact images or thoughts." Rodney sighed with relief and she felt his thoughts become immediately distracted again with thoughts of going home to safety, food and a clean bed.

She smiled mischievously at John. "However, I seem to be able to read Major Sheppard pretty well."

John groaned and shifted on the bedside. "I apologize for that."

Carson nodded sympathetically to John. "You've got the strongest gene."

"Usually that's a good thing."

Elizabeth sobered. "It is a good thing. John, you're a good man." She reached over and patted him on the hand. "I like that balcony too," she thought.

John's hands drew back and he looked at Elizabeth in shocked surprise. "Really?"

Now it was her turn to be surprised. "Really, what?"

"I thought I heard you say something about..." He looked at the other two men and faltered.

Rodney snorted and turned away to get another piece of fruit, saying over his shoulder, "Whatever. So, Elizabeth, do you want something to eat?"

Elizabeth shook her head, "No, thank you." Her mind raced. She hadn't realized John might be able to hear her thoughts as well. "Maybe if we are touching..." she thought, and pushed her hands forward again, reaching for his and pulling them towards her. She relaxed and closed her eyes. "John, this will only seem like a moment to them. Do this with me." Out loud she said, "Concentrate on what I am thinking, Major."

And suddenly they were utterly and intimately together, and time dilated and stretched.

John breathed into her mind, "This is so cool. I never thought I'd do this with..."

"Another human being? Not just an Ancient?"

"No! Well, yes... but, with you..."

"John, let me show you something."

She opened herself to him and felt him tentatively probe the boundaries of her psyche. She beckoned him forward and let his mind wind around the curves of her consciousness, gently exploring her feelings and memories, witnessing her journey from the child she once was to woman she had become. But she showed him only a glimpse of what she had felt in the last few days, afraid of overwhelming him with the abundance of sensation.

Even so, he understood a bit better now. "I get it: chocolate and mahogany. You're like lilacs." Elizabeth felt him warm with the knowledge of her affection for him and he unfolded his own mind, pulling her towards his soul. As she slid down the length of his life, she knew with utter certainty that John was the good and honorable man she had suspected and hoped he was.

But there was a flaw. Pushed very far down inside the core of John Sheppard was a shard of icy cold loneliness that she had felt in him since the beginning of this entire ordeal. It tainted every aspect of his essence with an unbearable intensity and she didn't know how he withstood its terrible power every day. When she tried to probe further she felt him resist, and she decided to let it go for the time being.

She was flattered and sad to find that he'd felt she was out of his league. "I'm the one who should be feeling that," she thought, and she showed him the gratitude she felt for him for all the times he had saved her life, and the terror she felt every time he walked out of Atlantis and through the stargate.

Although she knew that only a few brief moments were passing in the real world, time had slowed to an eternity between them. And over that time, the secret longing and infatuation she had felt for her military commander blossomed into something deeper and right and she felt him swell with the same emotion.

Suddenly, she felt someone else dangerously pressing on her consciousness. "John, wait." Their eyes opened simultaneously and they locked gazes, both gasping for air.

Standing above them, Rodney swallowed another mouthful of fruit and gestured to the left side of his neck. "I don't know, Carson, I've been having these shooting pains right here since I woke up. What do you think that is?"

"I'm sure you'll be fine, Rodney. It's probably just a muscle spasm."

Elizabeth took a deep breath. "I..." Coming out of the trance with John was more of a shock than she thought it would be. Her fleeting mental contacts with the villagers and with her teammates had been easy to accept. But this encounter with John left her feeling shaken to the marrow.

She abruptly felt the ominous presence even more strongly. "There's someone here." She pulled her hands away from John's and she pointed above them. The three men immediately followed her gesture and looked up.

John grimaced, still disoriented, "Who?"

Elizabeth looked back at John urgently. "I don't know him. But he means to kill us." She gestured at three rectangular recesses in the rocky wall twenty feet or so over their heads. "He's going to open those up. Oh God, we're below sea level."

John didn't have a chance to reply before the three panels slid upwards and water came rushing down in a torrent.

As the water sprayed into the air and swirled around their feet, the three men struggled to pull Elizabeth up from the straw pallet, which was already waterlogged. She reached out to the shadowy figures of the villagers she could sense in her mind and called for help. But they couldn't or wouldn't hear her.

Rodney looked at John and shouted over the din of the crashing water. "We can't swim chained up like this."

"Yeah, I think that's the idea."

Rodney yanked on his manacles in panic. "What do we do?"

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes in thought, and John felt a twinge of pride at how composed she looked. "How often do the villagers check on us?"

Carson looked back up at the door. "They haven't been back yet, and it's been probably and hour or two."

Elizabeth looked up at John and thought, "I can do this."

John leaned closer to Elizabeth and shouted, "What are you thinking now?"

"I can slow our hearts down enough to sustain us. Like a hibernation – slow down our metabolism, so we don't need to breathe for a while. An hour or so, anyway, in this cold water."

Rodney shook his head. "That's crazy, we'll never make it."

Carson looked at the water already swirling around their knees. "Like a diving reflex?"

She nodded and shouted back, "All of you should get close to me. I can do this! You have to trust me."

The pit was filling rapidly as they crowded towards her. Despite Elizabeth's confidence that she could save them she was anguished to feel the fear in all of the men. It almost surprised her to feel it again in John. He was usually so resolved when it came to personal danger, although she had always suspected some of it was an act for everyone else's benefit. She had a lot of experience with that act in her own life. But John had a frightening lack of concern for the importance of his own life. He was afraid for her. She met his eyes and thought of that stark loneliness inside of him.

He was looking down at her intensely. He swallowed heavily and thought, "I'll lift you out of the water so you'll last the longest. Maybe someone will come to help before it takes you."

She called out again with her mind to the shadowy psyches of the villagers without a response and then reached forward to touch John's hand. "We'll be okay."

She realized Rodney was shouting at the ceiling, rapidly and angrily, losing his temper the way he always did when he was scared. "You cowards! Why the hell don't you just come down here and shoot us like decent people?" He looked in fury at the water splashing up around his waist and bellowed, "At least have the courtesy to kill us when we aren't chained like animals!"

Elizabeth winced at the cold water now lapping at her ribcage and she adjusted her body's circulation to compensate. Reaching out to pull at his arm, she said softly, "Rodney, come here."

He struggled to face her, choking. "This is so unfair." Whereas John made a Herculean effort to conceal his emotions and fears, Rodney always made his feelings immediately known and as dramatic as possible. But she also knew that Rodney was braver than he let on and he had saved her life many times proving it. Right now he was heartsick to be faced with a meaningless death, and had a healthy fear of drowning.

She raised her shackled wrists to his face and pulled it towards her, leaning forward to press her forehead against his. "Trust me."

"Nothing personal, Elizabeth, but a few hours ago you were babbling in Latin."

She smiled and tilted her face up to kiss his lips reassuringly, and she took advantage of his shocked surprise by moving into his mind, at the same time filling him with drowsy contentment. As she took over his body, she slowed the magenta flow of his body energy and put him into a deep, cold and motionless sleep. With a faint smile on his face, he fell back to sink slowly into the water.

John reflexively grabbed at him and tried to hold him upright. "What did you just do?"

Elizabeth nodded to Rodney. "I stopped his breathing. He's in a deep trance. He'll be okay for an hour or so under the water." She turned to Carson who was looking at Rodney with a mixture of awe and horror. His gaze locked back with hers. "It will be enough time, I'm sure of it."

She needed to take care of Carson now, as the water was around her chest and it would only be a minute or so before they were all submerged. He knew it too but wasn't happy about it. She leaned forward to say loudly in his ear, "I promise you won't feel a thing."

He smiled grimly. "Even if it doesn't work, at least I'll die kissing a beautiful woman."

Her teeth flashed in a broad smile. "Thank you, Carson."

He took a deep breath and glanced at John who was standing up against the two of them, losing his battle to keep Rodney's placid face above the water. Carson nodded to John and then back at Elizabeth. "I'm ready."

She leaned forward, hesitated a moment, pressed her hands against his chest and then pressed her lips against his. Carson's eyes slowly rolled up and Elizabeth let him fall back to be swallowed by the water. It was up to her chin now, and she turned to John. He hesitated a moment and then reluctantly let go of Rodney, watching him disappear under the surface of the swirling torrent. He blew out a breath, "Sorry, Rodney."

He turned back to look intensely at Elizabeth for a moment, and then put his linked wrists over her head and around her back. He bent his own head down under the surface for a moment, getting a purchase on her waist, and then stood again so she was lifted over him, her bound hands folded against his upper chest, her fingertips resting on the bare skin of his neck. She looked down at him as he blinked water out of his eyes.

He bit his lip, searching her eyes. "Beckett stole my line."

She searched within him and felt the dark, cold longing in his heart. "You're not alone, John."

He swallowed heavily. "You sure you'll be okay once you put me under?"

She nodded. From the corner of her mind, she knew it would only be a short time they would have to stay alive under the water that was now splashing John's shoulders. He licked his lips. "Listen, could you not give me the kiss of death until the last second?"

She nodded and smiled, "I'll wait." She lifted her hands up and over his head and bent her face down towards him. He closed his eyes, bracing for her to put him to sleep, but snapped his eyes open again when he felt the warmth of her lips pressing against his own and the swell of her mind touch his own again, fueling his emotions. He felt regret and desire and love and fear and hope and he suddenly, desperately wanted this moment to last forever. He tightened his hold on her to deepen the kiss. Everything he wanted to tell her bubbled to the surface, and when Elizabeth finally pulled back her eyes were shining with tears. "I think I've always known, John. I feel the same way." She searched his eyes and for the moment neither was heedful of the water that was now lapping against John's jaw. "I promise we'll get through this together."

Her heart leapt as she felt him think the words, "God, I love you."

She smiled at him, and then he suddenly coughed, spitting out a mouthful of water. He stammered, "I should let go of you or I'll drag you under."

"No, John," she said firmly, "Hold on to me. I'll be with you the whole time. And when you wake up, I'll tell you I love you too." She leaned in to kiss him again, but this time when she felt his lips touch hers, she brushed the warm glow of serenity and sleep and winter russet over his mind, and felt his heart slow, and his blood move towards his core. She let herself go again into the sensation of his body, and felt his lungs stop their expansion, and felt the electric tingle of alertness fade from his mind. He went limp and fell back into the water, pulling her down with him. She gripped her fingers tightly into the back of his shirt as she held her breath. She slowed her own heart without fear, but she didn't let go of her consciousness immediately. They floated intertwined in the water and she felt a bit as she had when she had first been struck with the Ancient knowledge. John was with her, and this time it was just a matter of waiting. So she closed her eyes and she relished the essence of John Sheppard, and contented herself that he was nearby, and was happy that, again, there was no pain.

* * *

She didn't know how long she drifted in her embrace with John, but Elizabeth soon felt the tug of hands on her body, pulling her out of the water and onto dry ground. She felt the hands releasing her chains and she knew John and the others were near her, and they were all alive and safe. She roused her body as quickly as she could, and when she opened her eyes, Aleia was looking down at her with worry and amazement.

"Are you alright, Elizabeth Weir?"

She pushed herself up. "Yes, thank you for coming to help us."

"Your friends... we have sent for Alune. He is truly our best healer. Maybe he can help you if you do not have the strength. I am so sorry."

Elizabeth looked around to see her colleagues lying wet and limp on the floor beside her. "I think I can wake them."

She knelt first next to Rodney, laying her hands on his chest and forehead and concentrating, stimulating his mind, and after he took some deep gasping breaths, she brought him back to rest in a deep and dreamless sleep. She turned slightly then did the same for Carson. She left them sleeping, wanting a moment with John before the others awakened. Aleia nodded and moved off to fetch some blankets.

Elizabeth knelt over John and pushed his wet hair away from his face. He looked so peaceful. She laid one hand gently on his brow and the other over his heart and merged with him again. She could feel his body reviving as if it were her own. It was intensely intimate and she shivered slightly, wondering if he or the other men would remember. As he woke she began to feel his old hurts and wounds and decided to heal them while she had the chance. She could hear the blood coursing through his veins, and the scarred tissues flared golden in her consciousness with a rumbling hum. She adjusted the color and healed the fabric of his body with the ease of tuning a guitar string, restoring the tone of the muscle and cartilage to their proper taste and shape. It all made perfect sense to her now, this ability to sense all the aspects of the human body. She regretted that she had been so cut off from her own senses before, and wondered that she hadn't been able to heal her own and other people's hurts in the past; it seemed laughably trivial to do so now.

In any event, John's shoulder wouldn't bother him any more, or that right knee. She concentrated harder and fed him a little kernel of knowledge that he was loved and that he wasn't alone anymore and that everything was going to be all right. She leaned back as she felt his consciousness begin to press against her own and his eyes flickered open and locked with hers.

She stared down at him intently. "John?"

"Elizabeth?"

She smiled and traced her hand along his jaw. "You okay?"

"You are one hell of a kisser."

She grinned and leaned in to brush his lips. "I love you."

He reached his arms up and pulled her down on top of him, kissing her in earnest. When they parted Elizabeth said softly, "I should probably wake up the others."

"Yeah, I guess you should."

She sat back and reached her hand out to shake Carson. "Carson, wake up."

John pushed himself up on his elbows. "That's it? I was thinking you were going to kiss everyone again."

"Just you, John."

"Good, 'cause I'm a jealous guy."

"No, you aren't."

Carson grunted and rubbed his eyes, coughing and rolling onto his side. He poked Rodney. "Rodney, wake up."

Rodney woke up with a start, bolting upright. "I'm not dead." He grinned. "I'm not dead! Oh, thank God, what a relief." He patted his chest and legs. "I'm all here. Actually, I feel remarkably good."

Elizabeth smiled. At least now if he complained about his back she'd know he was exaggerating. She'd fixed that and a few other things when she'd awakened him. She'd managed to help Carson out with his sinuses as well. But she suddenly realized that the whole ordeal had taken a lot out of her, and exhaustion suddenly came crashing down upon her. She put her face in her hands. "Ooh."

John was instantly up and beside her, putting his arms around her and letting her lean against him. "Easy there."

She shivered and muttered into her hands. "Just a little tired."

"Well, I'd say the whole raising us from the dead thing should earn you a day or two off."

Aleia hurried back into the hallway holding several blankets, bringing Alune with her. He stopped short. "It is really true, is it not? She has the gift of healing as I do, perhaps even stronger."

John looked up at him in irritation. "Why are you asking? You already know."

Rodney shook water off his fingertips and grunted, "What the hell kind of people are you to have set aside a specialized let's-drown-all-the-visitors cave? That is just perverse."

Aleia hastened forward and handed him a blanket. "We use that place for recreational swimming. There are many predators in the ocean. We had to drain it before we could use it to store you."

"Store us? What are we, cans of soup?" Rodney grabbed the blanket out of her hand angrily and wrapped it around his shoulders.

John's own indignation lessened a bit as he felt Elizabeth grip his arm in reassurance. She held up a hand. "It was for my protection as well, Rodney. There are so many of the villagers that it would be hard for me to keep their thoughts out of my mind. I've been bombarded with the three of you, and the connection isn't nearly as clear as it is with the Alelic people."

Alune nodded as Aleia draped a blanket around Elizabeth's shoulders. "We are all making an effort to shield you from our minds..." He paused. "With varying success, and for that, I am sorry, Elizabeth Weir. But we realize now that the men in your group cannot project their thoughts as you can. We have come to see that they do not pose a threat to us. The Wraith would not detect them." He looked at John. "You are free to leave, if you truly swear to keep what you have learned a secret."

John frowned as he pulled a blanket around his own shoulders. "What about Elizabeth?"

"We will try to teach her control, although she will have to stay underground until then."

John shook his head slowly. "No way is she staying here as a prisoner. What's to keep someone from trying to kill her again?"

Aleia shifted uncomfortably. "The one responsible is young and foolish and has been punished. He would never have succeeded at all but we have all been making an effort to isolate our thoughts from the area where you were kept." She sighed. "It has been very taxing for us all."

Carson cleared his throat and pushed himself to his feet, shivering slightly under his blanket. "If that's true, then keeping Elizabeth here would be an enormous burden on your entire family."

Elizabeth looked long and hard at Alune and then let out a long, shuddering sigh. "There's another way. Take me back to the library. I'm so sorry, John. I don't want to forget."

John tightened his hold on her. "What?"

Carson shook his head. "I told you I'm not getting into that chair again."

Rodney plied his wet shirt away from his body and grimaced down at it, distracted by his discomfort. "There's no telling whether that chair would work properly anyway."

Elizabeth leaned back against John. "I'm not going to stay here, and I can't go back to Atlantis like this. Alune is right. If the Wraith can tap into my untrained mind they would instantly know everything about us when they came into range. Our defenses, our codes, the location of Earth. I can't risk that. And you know I'm right, John."

Carson protested. "You want me to use the library to take the knowledge away from you? I don't have that kind of control. You should have Major Sheppard do it, if you truly want to try. He's better at this than I. But I'll tell you, I don't advise it."

"I could order you to do it." Elizabeth shook her head unhappily. "And you can't only take the medical knowledge. You have to take it all. Everything since the original accident." She glanced back at John uneasily. "I've had a connection with some of their people and they won't let me leave with that kind of information." She felt John's heart sink as he realized the implications. "And Major Sheppard can't be the one. It has to be you."

Carson studied her. "Are you sure about this?"

"We know you can work the library database. I trust you."

She trusted John as well, but she knew that he would hold back for fear of hurting her. And the villagers would know. She pushed herself out of John's grasp and stood up. "Alune, you know what this will mean. It can work."

Alune gazed at John with pity. "I understand what you are risking."

"Are we nearby?"

Alune shook his head. "Tomorrow morning will be soon enough. You can rest and it will give me time to move my people out of the area so you will have clear passage. I would ask that you stay here, Elizabeth Weir. Aleia will bring you dry clothing and sustenance and I will send my most trusted kin to guard you. The rest of you can return to the village with me if you like."

John cleared his throat and slowly pushed himself up as well. He motioned to Carson and Rodney. "Listen, why don't you guys go get dried off? I'll stay here with Elizabeth."

Aleia nodded to the two men. "I would also be happy to help you. It is the least we can do for you after your ordeal." She glanced back at John. "I will return with supplies for you both as well."

Elizabeth put a hand out. "Wait a second. Carson?"

Carson hurried over to her, "What can I do for you?"

She grasped his hand and John saw Carson's eyes flare wide as she did so. A moment later she nodded at him. "Are you all right?"

Carson pulled his hand a way from her and took a shuddering breath. "Yes, I think so." He looked in bewilderment at John.

John nodded encouragingly. "We'll be fine."

Carson studied him hard, and then looked back at Elizabeth. "I understand."

Behind him, Rodney was shivering under his blanket. "Do you mind Carson? Let's go. I'm freezing. I could do with a nice big bowl of hot soup."

Carson grabbed his arm. "Yes, let's go, Rodney."

As the others walked away, John moved slowly over to Elizabeth, where she stood gazing miserably down at her hands, shivering slightly. And he knew it wasn't because of the cold. He bent down to peer up at her face. "What just happened?"

She looked up at him. "Rodney won't suspect anything. He's... distracted. But you can trust Carson. He knows what's happened. He cares a great deal about you and he'll help you through, after..."

John digested that. She'd just made sure he'd have a shoulder to cry on, so to speak. He wasn't sure if he should be offended or grateful. He decided to go with the latter. "Listen to me, Elizabeth. This is a risk I'm not willing to take."

She turned her head away. "I won't remember you. The real you."

He pulled her chin up gently to look at him. "That's not the risk I'm talking about. McKay said this thing nearly killed O'Neill. And you want to do it twice in two days? You could die." He shook his head. "Look, I admit, or... you know how I feel about you."

"I do. Listen, John," she took his hand in her own urgently. "I'm not going to die. But I think I will forget everything since... John, you need to know that before any of this happened, I did have feelings for you. But you are so damned stubborn about opening up to anyone." She gripped his hand in emphasis. "If you just share yourself with me, and show me who you really are... and in time tell me how you feel..." Her heart wept at his miserable expression. "I do love you."

She leaned up again to kiss him and unfolded her consciousness. She needed to convince him that she would be all right and that they could be together again. As he enfolded her in his arms, he sank back into her mind in desperation, knowing it could be the last time they'd be together. Really together.

* * *

Elizabeth leaned on the rail of the East Pier observation deck, and breathed in the fresh sea air of Atlantis. Since they had returned from the Alelic world she'd had a constant, anxious urge to be outside. When she caught up on her work she thought she'd ask John to take her to the mainland for an afternoon just to relax. Or maybe that would be too forward.

John cleared his throat as he walked out onto the terrace. "Hey."

She smiled at him, feeling the knot of tension in her gut fade away as he moved towards her. "Hey, yourself. I just was enjoying some fresh air. It's so quiet here at this time of day. So peaceful."

"Yeah, air is good." He stopped and looked down at his feet, fidgeting with his jacket. He'd followed her all the way out here just to be near her, but he was so bursting with feeling he couldn't think of anything to say. He thought of what they'd shared in the pre-dawn hours before she'd submitted to the chair, frantically pulling off each other's clothing and merging their bodies as well as their souls. Although she'd given him a wonderful memory, it had been pure lunacy, because it tore at him now.

It was taking a Herculean effort to hide his pain from Elizabeth. She was too good at reading people even without her telepathic powers. And there was no possible way to ask her delicately if she were pregnant. She'd been positive it was safe back in those last desperate moments, but the thought nagged at him. Carson had promised to discreetly check to ease his mind. It would be utterly impossible to explain to her if she were pregnant. She'd feel violated.

He thought of the note Elizabeth had given him before she'd settled into the chair in the library that second time. The note had simply read, "You are not alone."

In retrospect he was glad that she had pulled Carson into the whole mess. He'd already talked confidentially to Carson, and he did feel a bit better not having to keep the secret of his relationship with Elizabeth all to himself. Luckily, she had been right about Rodney. Despite his usual suspicious nature, he didn't seem to have a clue about any of it. Whether that was due to Rodney's self-absorption or some interference on Elizabeth's part, John would never know.

He glanced up to find her peering at him. He forced himself to keep the eye contact, willing his best poker face to emerge.

"What's the matter, Major? You've been acting odd ever since we got back." She frowned at him. "There's something you haven't told me, and it's so... frustrating not to remember." She rubbed at her forehead. "Although from what you have told me it wasn't a very pleasant trip. I'm sorry you had to go through all that."

John remained silent. To know Elizabeth so completely and not be able to say anything was agonizing. But the true irony of knowing her so intimately was that he also knew that he couldn't push her, and that she'd pull away if he just declared his affections. And she'd be mortified if he told her they'd slept together. He'd have to work up to it, and it would take a long time. And it might not ever work. Not now.

He nodded pensively, searching her face. "So, uh, you feeling all right? Not, I don't know, nauseated or anything?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "You didn't say anything about that..."

"So, you're fine. And... you don't remember anything at all?"

"You keep asking me that. I'll admit I've been having some really vivid dreams." She stared at him thoughtfully for a moment and then blushed, looking down at her own feet.

John's heart skipped a beat.

Elizabeth sighed and turned to face the ocean again. "I can't believe I was able to heal Carson like that, to revive everyone, to read your minds. What I wouldn't give to have that kind of ability again."

He bit his lip and nodded. "Maybe that machine just powered up what you already had. You seem to have a talent for making people feel better, knowing how to help people."

She turned her head to smile at him. "That's very kind of you, Major, thank you."

"So, uh..." John cleared his throat again. "You want some company?"

She raised a brow and then looked at him intently. "Actually, I'd like that very much, Major."

"What's with this 'Major' business, Elizabeth? We're alone here."

She dimpled and her blush returned. "Yes, we are. Okay, John, come and watch the sunset with me."

John felt the burden of his secret lighten a little, and he moved forward to the railing, blowing out the breath he didn't realize he had been holding. He looked down at her to see her gazing back up at him, and his heart lightened just a little more.

She slipped her hand into his and they stood side by side in easy silence, watching the sun sink slowly behind the rippling waters of the ocean.

John let out another breath and felt a smile creep across his face. "So, Elizabeth. Tell me about these dreams you've been having. I wasn't in any of them, was I?" He squeezed her hand.

Elizabeth tried to suppress the grin she felt emerging. No way was she telling him the dream she'd had last night involving herself, John, and the balcony outside her office.

* END *