Seeing Is Believing by The Huntress [Reviews - 2]
Chapter or Story - Text Size +
Category: Slash Pairings > McKay/Sheppard
Characters: Aiden Ford, Carson Beckett, Elizabeth Weir, John Sheppard, Original Character, Rodney McKay, Teyla Emmagan
Rating: NC-17
Genres: Angst, First Time, Hurt Comfort
Warnings: Adult themes
Series: None
Word count: 35212; Completed: Yes
Summary: Rodney is blinded during a mission
"It's a game of skill and cunning," Rodney was explaining to Teyla as they exited the PuddleJumper.
"It's a moronic game, with stupid Canucks," John snickered. "Right Ford?"
"Actually sir," Aiden said quietly, "most of the Canucks I've met are pretty nice."
"We're all nice," Rodney grinned. "Although some of you...Yankees..." He chewed on his lip so he wouldn't burst out in a giggle fit.
"I'm only half Yankee," John said proudly. "My mother was from Missouri."
"Actually," Aiden added, "I prefer basketball."
"What is basketball?" Teyla inquired.
"A stupid game," John and Rodney both answered.
"Ah," Teyla grinned, "like football."
"Exactly," Rodney answered quickly.
"Hey!" John tried to sound offended, failing miserably, as always. "Football is a game of skill and...and..."
"Sexy cheerleaders?" Rodney asked innocently.
"Yeah," John nodded happily. "And Hockey doesn't have any. Just stupid Canucks."
"What about the Rangers, sir?" Ford asked, raising an eyebrow.
"They SUCK!" John fired back, nodding smugly. "So they don't count."
Teyla laughed at that, having learned enough Earth slang in the time she had been with them. "I do not understand why you Earth males put so much of your time and energy into sporting events. Elizabeth explained to me that she was a 'football widow' every...Sunday...for a few months out of your year."
"Now let me explain that..." Rodney started, then stopped. "Thank God. People." He glanced in the distance. "Maybe they're," he cast a look at John, "civilized and intelligent."
"Or maybe," John took in their size, "they like football. Look at them. They're all the size of linebackers."
Atlantis' premiere team prepared for the standard 'let's trade stuff, become allies and find ways to defeat the Wraith and other assorted bad guys' meet and greet speech.
One hour later the team was running back to the 'Jumper.
Rodney's legs felt like they were going to go out on him. The PuddleJumper hadn't seemed so far from the village when they had arrived.
Then again, he was able to see where he was going at the time.
It had seemed like a good idea, going into the building and examining the writing, which to his shock appeared to be Goa'uld text. But the elders of the planet were not too thrilled with him, grabbed him and made him look at a bright sphere. When they pulled him away, his sight was gone.
Rodney's screams had brought the rest of the team running, a firefight ensued and they barely got to the PuddleJumper in one piece. Returning to Atlantis, Rodney was immediately given a full exam, but nothing could be found to explain the blindness. His eyesight should have been fine.
But it wasn't.
And Rodney McKay fell into a deep depression, closing himself off and not coming out of his room.
~~~
Rodney jumped as his door opened.
"I brought you some food," Teyla said, with a smile in her voice. "You haven't eaten since you came back."
"Yeah, what she said," John added and Rodney also heard the smile, then heard the plate put in front of him. "Peas at three o'clock, potatoes at nine, meat, or what passes for meat, at six." John put the fork in his hand. "Now eat like a good boy and we won't tell Elizabeth."
"I'm not hungry." Rodney pushed the plate away. "Just go." He heard the door open and shut and made no motion to eat anything.
"Now Rodney," John said, "I made that plate all by myself."
"I thought you left."
"No, Teyla left. I, however, want to make sure you eat."
"I told you I'm not hungry." Rodney heard a chair being pulled out and knew John was sitting down.
"You have to eat. I'm worried about you."
"No."
"Doctor McKay, I'm going to give it to you straight. I am here because I just left Weir's office," John's voice began to rise, "where I spent the BETTER part of an hour talking her OUT of having your ass DRAGGED to medical, STRAPPED DOWN and getting a feeding tube shoved up your FUCKING NOSE!"
John wasn't prepared for the reaction, for the table tossed over, for the usually passive doctor to crawl into a corner, holding the fork like a weapon. If the situation were different, he would have found it humorous. He quickly reminded himself that the man before him was terrified, that he was light years from home and now he was without his sight. And a man he considered his friend was now scaring him even more. John knelt down, hand on Rodney's shoulder, squeezing it gently. "Rodney, I don't want them to hurt you." He got the fork away and pulled Rodney close, cradling him, laying Rodney's head on his shoulder and stroking his hair. "Please eat something."
"I wish I were dead." Rodney struggled in John's embrace, finally giving up, eyes closing, sleeping due to pure exhaustion.
Elizabeth entered a short while later, seeing the mess, shaking her head. "He goes to medical." John faced her with a glare that made her shiver; she'd seen it before, a protective mother shielding her child from danger. But in this case there was something more and that made her hesitant.
"No, I won't let you." John sounded calm, but Elizabeth knew better. The soldier was out and he was ready for a full-fledged battle. And when Rodney began to squirm in his arms, John rubbed his back, whispering soothing sounds, telling Rodney to 'hush' and that he'd take care of him, placing a soft kiss to the top of his head. A small smile played at his lips as Rodney immediately stilled.
"I don't believe it." Elizabeth's mouth dropped open. "John, you're in love with him." It was a statement, not a question.
John blinked at her. "Perceptive, aren't you?"
"How long?"
"Have I loved him or been in love with him? I don't know. And does it really matter in the grand scheme of things?"
"I will give you one more day. If he doesn't eat something, I'll have no choice but to..." She didn't get to finish. If looks could kill, Elizabeth Weir would have been a burning cinder.
"I'll get him to eat. But you keep the medical staff away. I see one of them near him, you'll be responsible for what happens." He studied her face. "I mean it Elizabeth. And I guarantee you I will have every soldier in this complex on my side."
Elizabeth was prepared to answer him, to assert her authority, but realized the futility of it at the moment. "All right Major, you win this round." She backed off, leaving the two men, hoping John could do what he said.
He grabbed a pillow and blanket from the bed, pulled Rodney's back to his chest, yawned and followed Rodney into sleep.
~~~
Rodney awoke and immediately panicked. He thought for a moment that he was in medical, that the threat of forcefeeding had been realized. Until he heard a soft groan and knew it was John holding him in a vice-like grip.
"Hey," the sleepy voice said, "good to have you back with us."
"I have to..." Rodney started.
John let him go. "Can you find your own way to your bathroom?"
"YES!" Rodney's shout startled John, who released him immediately.
John heard the sobs a few minutes later and entered the small room, finding Rodney on the floor, eyes red and puffy, holding a towel.
"I missed."
"Aww Rodney, c'mere." John cleaned him up and led him to the bed. "Stay. I'll clean up the floor." He returned to the bathroom, wetting the cloth and silently wiping up the mess. He came out, softly smiling, seeing what Rodney had changed into. "Uh, I may not have any fashion sense, but blue shirts do not go with brown pants." He was so hoping to get a smile, but all he received was a deeper frown. "Let's change your shirt."
"Why? I'm not going anywhere."
John refused to fight with him. If Rodney wanted to stay shut up in his room, for now at least, John would let him...and stay with him, keep him company. He reached out to untuck Rodney's shirt, which was the wrong move.
"I can undress myself!"
"Okay, I didn't say you couldn't."
"I'm not an invalid so stop treating me like one!" Rodney calmed after a moment, finding his way to a pile of clothing and sifting through it. "Does this one match?"
"Yeah." It was also blue, but John opted to keep his mouth shut this time.
"You're not going to watch me get changed, are you?"
"No Rodney," John sighed, "I'm not. I'm turning around." It was a bold faced lie. John stood there and watched him get changed, wanting to touch, balling his fists to stop himself.
"Will you take me to the balcony?"
"Why? So you can jump?" John chuckled softly. "I don't think so. You jump and I have nobody to fight with. Besides, I promised myself after our first mission that you don't die until I kill you myself."
Rodney's face softened a bit. "Major, why weren't you upset about having to clean up my...mess?"
"Ah, well, my mother lost her sight when I was seven so I'm used to it. I always cleaned up after her."
"What am I going to do?" Rodney asked aloud, though not directly to John. "What if my sight doesn't come back?"
"Then you get a seeing-eyed dog...a Sheppard. Get it?"
"Yeah, I got it Major. You can leave now."
"No reason to. I have my book."
"You're reading a book?" Rodney actually cracked a small smile.
"'Killer Bimbo's from Mars'. They kill with tentacles from their breasts." This time Rodney did laugh. "See, I knew I could get you to laugh. Actually, I'm reading Daniel Jackson's paper on the ancient Egyptians and possible extra-terrestrial life forms."
"I never got the chance to read it," Rodney almost whispered. "I kept meaning to but..."
"Then let me read it to you. I can do funny voices and make it even more interesting."
"Just read it to me."
"You got it. If you eat some breakfast. How about pancakes? I'll order the mess to make you a big stack."
"I'm not..."
John didn't let him finish. "And I'll make a deal with you. You eat one meal and I swipe two of Beckett's Hershey bars for you."
Rodney was a bit surprised and it showed. "You'd do that for me?"
"Not exactly. There's something about Carson Beckett getting upset over missing candy that just makes my day." John put his hand on Rodney's arm. "C'mon."
"NO! I want to eat in here."
"If that's what it takes, then fine. Promise me you'll stay here and wait for me."
"I promise."
John went to get the food and when he returned, he watched with a big grin as Rodney ate the pancakes, followed by the candy bars. He then read to him for about two hours, until Rodney grew tired again and fell asleep. John got Teyla to stay with Rodney while he took the opportunity to report to Elizabeth and apologize to her.
"I, uh, I came to say I was sorry."
"But you're not, are you John," she told him flatly.
"Sorry for threatening your authority, yes. Sorry for challenging you on Rodney's care, no. Elizabeth, he needs me. I told you I love him and I need to take care of him now."
"You have a duty."
"Yes, I do. A duty to take care of my people, one of which is Rodney McKay. He trusts me. Believe me, he's not going to listen to anyone else. You try to give him food and I guarantee you he'll stop eating again. If you forcefeed him...Elizabeth, you'll be killing him inside." His face grew serious. "That I will not permit."
"What would you have me do John?"
"Put Ford in charge of the team for now. He can take Bates and Duncan with him to that planet Teyla suggested. Duncan's a half decent linguist." John paused. "If you don't, I will resign my commission and Pegasus Galaxy or not, it will stand. I will take Rodney to the mainland and he and I will live out the rest of our lives together."
"What makes you so sure, John?"
"As I told Rodney, my mother lost her sight when I was a kid. She had such a hard time of it, but she had friends who helped, who gave her confidence. He needs a friend...me."
"Does he know how you feel?"
"No and for now he doesn't need to. All he needs is one friend. Give me a few days and he'll be back to his snarky self." John smiled smugly. "I guarantee it." He turned to leave.
"John..."
John paused and turned around, but the smile was gone and the eyes were almost black. "This conversation is over."
Elizabeth could have exerted her authority and ordered John to take a mission, should one come up, but then again in the time they had been on Atlantis she had learned one thing: Don't fuck with Major Sheppard.
The man didn't lie and always said what he meant. She had no doubt he would resign and take Rodney away. And morale amongst the military personnel would fall apart. John was the glue that held them together. His own 'snarky' attitude had saved them all more then once and his offbeat way of command had more then endeared him to even the most hardassed marines, not to mention some of the scientists who were under her direct command.
So she would let it rest...for now.
~~~
John was fuming as he left Elizabeth's office. 'Who the hell does she think she is? She doesn't know what's best for Rodney. I do.' He growled to himself and punched a nearby wall, groaning at the pain. 'That fucking hurt.' But he did feel a bit better and hoping that Rodney would be okay with Teyla, John went to do some work on 'Jumper one with Ford.
"How's the Doc?"
"How do you think he is?!" John fired back.
"I was just..."
John sighed, "I know Aiden," wiping his hands over his face, "and I'm sorry for snapping at you."
"If you need help, you know where to find it."
"Thanks, but I can handle him. I don't think too many people are going to be good for him just yet."
"What happened with Weir?"
"I don't know what's wrong with her. She wants Rodney in medical, kept under observation."
"That may not be such a bad idea. Maybe Rodney..."
"I KNOW WHAT RODNEY NEEDS!" John took a few deep breaths to calm himself. "Have you ever been around someone who is suddenly without sight? It was hard enough for her, but Rodney, he's not even on Earth. There is no support group for him. Nobody here understands."
"John, who are you talking about?"
"My mom," John told him, a frown on his face. "A stupid accident when I was seven. My dad, he left a few months later. The bastard couldn't deal with it. So it was just me and her. We couldn't even get her a seeing-eyed dog because she was allergic to 'em, so I had to help her out. And now I have to help Rodney."
"We could help you with him, me and Teyla. And Stacks and Bates and the rest of the...Neanderthals, as Doctor McKay is so fond of referring to us."
"Thanks. I guess I have been kind of nasty lately."
"That's okay. We still love you."
They finished their work and John then headed to a computer to finally go through some of the SGC's mission reports. He had so many to go through and by the time he realized how long he'd been there, almost four hours had passed. "Dammit!" He ran back to Rodney's room, afraid of what he would find. When he entered, he found Teyla sitting in a chair on the far side of the room, staring at Rodney, a confused look on her face and food all over a wall.
"Sergeant Stackhouse brought a tray of food and Doctor McKay is angry with me because I attempted to serve it to him. He has said he is not going to eat and that he wishes to die numerous times."
"It's okay Teyla. You didn't do anything wrong."
"I know this, John. Is there anything else I can do?"
"Yeah, you can go to the mess and bring a fresh tray of food. He'll eat it."
"No I won't," Rodney sneered.
"Just go get the food." The moment Teyla left, John opened his mouth to scream at Rodney, but he paused, feeling for the man before him. "How are you doing?"
"How do you think I'm doing? I can't see and I wish I were dead."
"So do half the people on this base." John's attempt at levity went unnoticed. "Rodney, you remember I told you about my mom? I didn't tell you that my dad left us after and I helped her learn to be on her own and stuff like that. If you'll let me, I'd like to help you too."
"No."
John nodded, then remembered Rodney couldn't see him. A simple motion such as a nod or a smile would not be noticed. "Okay, we do things your way for now. But we do need to discuss your eating habits, or lack of as the case may be. I know the kitchen only cooks shit, but shit is what we have, so shit is what we'll eat." He saw the corners of Rodney's mouth twitch. "In a few moments, Teyla will be bringing us the shit of the day and I think it's chicken. But it might be ham or roast beef or maybe even eggs. Only the mess staff knows for sure and they never tell, because then nobody would eat. And based on the color the wall is, I think it might have been actual shit."
Rodney put his hand over his mouth and his face got red.
"It's okay to laugh," John told him. "Laughter is a good thing." He silently added, 'And that, Rodney McKay, is lesson number one.'
Teyla came back a short while later, brought the tray in, placed it in front of Rodney...and ducked.
"'S'okay Teyla," John snickered. "Rodney won't throw it at you. Will you, Rodney?" He caught the look on Rodney's face. "She ducked." He glanced at the food. "Hmm, it's sort of green, so my guess would be...meat?"
"Your guess would be correct John," Teyla nodded. "However, I cannot figure out what this brown, mucus like substance is."
"Ah," John said, "that would be the gravy." He took a bite. "At least Hart's cooking has improved. It almost tastes like food." He put another piece on the fork and placed it at Rodney's lips. "What do you think Rodney? Is it food or something else?" Rodney shook his head, keeping his mouth shut. "Now Rodney, if you don't try it, I'll have to feed it to Teyla."
"I would not suggest you try that," she warned. "I will hurt you." She turned to Rodney. "Rodney McKay, I do not wish you to die. You are my friend and I do not have many among your people yet. I have lost so many in my short life and I do not wish to lose another."
That got through and Rodney opened his mouth, John shoving the fork in. "Well, what do you think?"
Rodney took the fork. "I think you were right, Major. I think it is shit." But Rodney began to eat.
John smiled at Teyla, mouthing, 'Thank you.'
Teyla just nodded to him with a smile and walked out.
John watched Rodney wolf down his food and when Rodney was done, John placed dessert in his hand. "It's another Hershey bar. I stole this one from Grodin."
"I want to go out to the balcony."
"Rodney, we talked..."
"No, I want to go outside. Please John, take me outside to get some air."
"Promise not to jump?"
Rodney smiled. "Yeah, I do."
John took him by the arm and led him out to the adjacent balcony. "It's a nice night and the suns are setting. Looks like it's going to be two moons tonight."
"What color is the sky?"
"Sort of dark blue." John's attentions turned to Rodney's face, hair blowing from the breeze. "And it's beautiful. I don't think I ever noticed before and maybe I should have." He stood behind Rodney, hands on Rodney's shoulders. "I wish..."
Rodney turned around, not fully realizing the position he was in. "What?"
John leaned in for a kiss, but the door chimes to Rodney's quarters went off and John cursed to himself, debating on how he was going to kill the person on the other side of the door. 'Time for lesson two,' he thought. Aloud, "Rodney, go answer your doorbell."
"I...come with me."
"Nope. Your room, your visitor. I will stay out here. For all you know, it's Santa and he's bringing you a chemistry set so you can blow up the kitchen before the next meal." John watched him feel his way to the door and went back to staring at the sky, thinking about the near kiss. The moment had reminded him of his first real date with Molly Addams and how, when he had gotten the nerve to kiss her, her father opened the front door and told her to come inside. 'So next time, you kiss him.' Deep breath. 'Nope, not gonna happen. You don't take advantage of somebody. If you kiss him and he turns you down or worse, doesn't like men, then what? If the former John, you won't be able to be around him without feeling empty. If the latter, he won't trust you. And if he kisses you back, is he doing it because he likes you or because he's grateful to you for helping him out?' John banged his head against the wall a few times. "God hates me," he muttered. "All the Gods hate me." He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't realize that Rodney's voice was getting louder and ran inside, ready for a fight. Instead he saw Rodney shoving Kavanagh to the door, but Rodney missed on his last shove and Kavanagh slammed into the wall. "Kavanagh, what do you want?"
"None of your business," Kavanagh sneered at him and walked out the door, looking pretty pissed off.
"He's not going to do it!" Rodney shouted, feeling around, getting his hands on a small lantern and throwing it...at John.
"OWW! That hurt!"
"John?" Rodney's voice grew quiet and he looked a bit panicked. "I didn't mean to..."
"Yeah, I'm sure you didn't. And I have to learn when to duck." John winced, feeling his head and the small bump that was forming. "What did he want?"
"My...project. That thing found on the mainland. He...he wants to do the research because I can't see."
"Well he's not going to get the chance," John nodded to himself.
"But he's right. I can't finish it. I can't see what I'm doing. I'm going to let him work on it."
"You're giving in to Kavanagh? I don't think so. I can help you with it. You just describe what you need done and I'll do it."
"But..."
"No buts. In the morning we go to your lab and do a bit of work. If you're good, I will cook some dinner for you tomorrow."
"I've tasted your cooking John. I'd rather eat Weir's."
"Hey, I can whip up a very tasty MRE, thank you very much." He saw the smile on Rodney's face again. "That's right, an MRE. Hell, you can have two. We'll do the mac and cheese because I know how much you love chicken." He guided Rodney to the bathroom. "Now it's time for all good astrophysicists to brush their teeth, wash their face and go to bed."
"I have to...I..."
John stood him in front of the makeshift toilet. "Okay Rodney, you're directly in front of it. Do what you need to do while I clean up your room a bit." He nearly stood there and watched, then did a double take. 'No John, you do not need to watch him do that!' He went into the main room and cleaned up the mess, feeling the bump on his head, which was now a good sized lump. 'Good shot Rodney. If I didn't think it would piss you off, I'd actually go and thank Calvin for getting you all riled up.' He waited for Rodney to come out, then heard the wheezing and ran in. Rodney was spitting and John started to giggle, which quickly turned into a full-fledged laugh.
"It's not funny!"
"Rodney, I don't think brushing your teeth with first aid ointment is proper."
"I thought it was the toothpaste!"
"You should have asked."
Rodney's face fell. "Yeah, I should have."
John rinsed the brush, putting toothpaste on it. "We have to rearrange your bathroom so you know where everything is." He handed it to Rodney. "Brush up. The washcloth is on your right, the soap beside it and your...pajamas...are on the toilet tank. And Rodney, maybe you'll explain to me why you have PJ's with little duckies on them."
"Because the store was out of bunnies!" Rodney fired back.
When Rodney was done, John guided him to the bed and tucked him in. "Bedtime story?"
"No."
"I'm going to get some rest myself, but I'll be back bright and early."
"John?"
"Yeah?"
"Will you stay until I fall asleep?"
The smile on John's face could have lit up Los Angeles for a month. "You got it." He waited until Rodney was out cold before going to his own room. He'd get Rodney into the lab tomorrow and maybe things would start getting back to normal...or as normal as things got on Atlantis.
~~~
John woke at dawn, cursing Atlantis for having two suns. There was nowhere he could sleep and not get the sun in the morning. Not that he ever slept late, but sometimes...
He washed up and thought about what he and Rodney would do today, other then the lab work. Maybe torture Kavanagh a bit or possibly Zelenka. He headed to Rodney's and walked in, not seeing him anywhere. He ran to the balcony and looked there, shaking his head. "No, he wouldn't have jumped." The next stop was the mess and still no sign of him. Passing the women's quarters, he heard a shriek and peeked in, seeing Rodney feeling his way to the door. "RODNEY! What are you doing in here?!"
"It was an accident. Honest," Rodney told him.
John just smiled at the women, making apologies on Rodney's behalf as he dragged him out into the corridor. "What were you doing in there?"
"I thought it was the men's?"
John heard the laughter and turned to see Ford cracking up. "Funny, Ford. Maybe I should go in there and tell them it was you that put Rodney up to this."
Ford stopped laughing. "Sorry sir, but it was too good an opportunity to pass up."
"Of course it was," John smiled himself, taking Rodney by the arm and leading him to a transport tube. 'And at least you got him out of his room,' he added silently.
"Don't the women realize I can't see?"
"Rodney, the fact that you were in their quarters bothered them enough. And you copped more then one feel on your way out. I saw you."
"I like breasts," Rodney smirked. "And I think I got to touch Allenbee's, but I'm not sure. Did I?"
"You did," John grinned. But his grin faded at Rodney's words. 'He likes breasts. So much for him liking you.'
"John?"
"What?"
"I...you stopped talking to me. I really didn't mean to get you angry."
"No, you didn't get me angry. I was just lost in thought, that's all. Now, it's on to your lab and you can explain to me what you were doing with that thing...that artifact...you found."
"Are you sure, John? I know you don't like being in my lab too much."
They exited the tube and Rodney nearly walked smack into a wall, but John intercepted him, avoiding an accident.
"I lied," John laughed. "I wanted to be a mad scientist when I was a kid. Now I get to work with a scientist who is slightly mad." Rodney didn't get it and frowned. "I was only kidding. We really need to work on your sense of humor. Now you and me, we're gonna figure this thing out. You have the brains and I have the..."
"You have the eyes," Rodney said softly.
"See that! You're jumping to conclusions. What I was going to say was that I have the super gene. You know, the one you're always wanting me to use? Maybe I can put it to use."
"You never wanted to use it before."
"I changed my mind. And we have arrived." John opened the door to the lab with a thought and Rodney knew it.
"Show off."
"What can I say? It impresses women," John grinned.
"Doesn't impress me," Rodney replied. "I left the device over there," Rodney moved forward and nearly fell over the chair. He kicked it aside and began to curse. "Stupid fucking chair!" Before John could stop him, he accidentally knocked over a stack of CD-ROMS and brushed his arm over the table, knocking a few more things over. "I can't do this." He reached out to shove his computer off the desk and John reacted, wrapping his arms around Rodney from behind, gently restraining him. Rodney would hate himself later if he did actual damage.
"Rodney, we don't have to do this right now. How about we go and eat something? Did Ford feed you?"
"No," Rodney whispered.
John let him go. "Then that's the problem. You haven't had your morning ration of crap."
"I'm not..."
"McKay, I swear, if you say you're not hungry, I'm going to belt you one."
"I want to go back to my room."
John silently sighed, looking up, wondering what he was going to do. "I'll take you back."
Rodney went straight for the balcony and John followed, wanting to keep an eye on him. But Rodney just stood there, face to the suns, shedding silent tears. He had absolutely no idea that the man beside him was watching him and doing the same.
After a few minutes, John was able to speak. "I...I wanted to go do some more work on 'Jumper one, maybe take her out with Ford. But..."
Rodney turned to the voice, forcing a smile. "I won't jump, John. I promise you that. I just want to feel the sun on my face for a little while."
"I was thinking maybe you could come with us."
"I'm not allowed..."
"We're not going through the 'gate. Think about it. You want sun, you can sit on the shoreline and bask. We'll leave you alone."
This time the smile was genuine. "You mean it?"
"Yeah. And we'll take Teyla and you can tell her more fairy tales. I know she liked Little Red Riding Hood. I think she'll get a kick out of Cinderella." John paused. "And we'll take lots of MRE's." Rodney's smile turned into a grin, which made John grin. "Come along, Doctor McKay. The mainland awaits."
Elizabeth passed them on the way to the landing bay. "Where are you going?"
"I told you Ford and I were going to test out 'Jumper one, see what she could do. Rodney is coming along to keep Teyla company."
"That's not a good idea," Elizabeth said curtly.
"Tough, because he is going. And unless you can find a medical reason as to why he can't go, my decision stands."
"Maybe I should stay," Rodney said meekly.
"Shut up!" John snapped. "You're coming with me and that is final." He practically dragged Rodney away.
"You're angry," Rodney said a few moments later.
"Not at you," John replied softly. "Elizabeth doesn't understand."
"She's mad at me."
"Nobody is angry Rodney. I think she's just afraid."
"Afraid of what?"
"I think Elizabeth is scared that something is going to happen to you and she'll blame herself for it. I know she cares about you and she's just being a bit overprotective, that's all. She'll come around soon."
"I hope you're right."
'I hope so too,' John answered silently.
"Do you blame yourself, John? For what happened to me?"
"I...maybe I do." John admitted. "If I had been with you, watching your six, this never would have happened."
"You don't know that! If you had been there, maybe we'd both be blind now. And I'd have nobody to take care of me!" The words came out before Rodney could stop them and he reached out, placing his hand on John's cheek. "I'd have nobody."
John was glad, sort of, that Rodney couldn't see the blush he was sure came across his face and he put his arm around Rodney's shoulder. "C'mon McKay, let's see what the 'Jumper can do."
Several hours later they returned, and John helped a sleepy Rodney back to his room. The man had spent the entire day regaling the Athosians with 'fairy tales' and the one Teyla enjoyed most was the story of someone called Batman and how he fought evil in a city called Gotham. She wanted more, so Ford took up the slack, telling her a tale as they headed for the recreation area, and their nightly game of Grand Theft Auto on the Playstation2 an anonymous person had so graciously smuggled to Atlantis.
John helped Rodney into bed, pulled off his own boots and lay down on top of the covers.
"John, what are you doing?"
"I'm staying the whole night, Rodney. I don't need Ford taking you somewhere off limits again. From now on, I take you everywhere. At least until you can find your own way around. Now go to sleep."
Rodney turned over, away from John. "Thanks for everything."
John didn't answer, he just waited until he was sure Rodney was sleeping before speaking. "I love you Rodney. I'd do anything for you." He looked upwards again. "Why a geek?"
~~~
In the morning, Rodney seemed a bit happier and John was able to persuade him to come to the mess for breakfast. Lieutenant Hart, who had volunteered himself as mess chef, or 'botulism boy' as he was nicknamed, presented Rodney with a plate of fresh eggs.
"Hey! How come he gets real eggs? And where did you get them?"
Hart smirked at John. "From Holling and I only got two so don't even ask."
"Ya know, I can have you demoted to airman and scrubbing toilets," John told him, but he was smiling when he said it.
"Ah, but then you wouldn't get to sample my fine cuisine." Hart laughed and went back to the kitchen.
"Fresh eggs," John mumbled. "He gets fresh eggs and I get..." John stared at the runny yellow stuff on his plate. "...something else."
Rodney pushed his plate over. "You can have mine."
John pushed it back. "Nah. I'm military and can survive on anything. This is still better then chipped beef on toast."
"They have chipped beef?" Rodney's whole face lit up. "Where?"
"Eat your fresh eggs and keep quiet. Chipped beef on toast, MRE's, infirmary food...sometimes I worry about you McKay...really worry."
Ford came over and gave Rodney his biscuit. "You can throw it at Kavanagh if you want to. It makes a good weapon." He banged it on the edge of the table. "Harder then a hockey puck."
"Maybe later," Rodney smiled. "Thanks."
Rodney held on to John's shoulder as they left the mess and headed down the corridor, John sitting Rodney down in a chair. "I have to take care of something and I'll be right back."
Rodney just nodded and stayed where he was, listening for anything and everything.
"Hello Rodney," Jane's voice said. "Are you here to see Doctor Beckett?"
Rodney immediately stiffened. "I won't go to medical!" He stood, making two fists, ready to fight off anyone who came near him.
"Rodney, are you okay?" Carson asked him, quite concerned.
"STAY AWAY!!" His sightless eyes were moving everywhere, wanting somehow to find John. "I'll die before I let you touch me!"
"Get away from him," John warned, taking Rodney into his arms without thinking.
"I only wanted to say hello to him, you imbecile!" Beckett returned the snarl.
"Keep him away from me," Rodney sobbed, grasping John's shirt like a lifeline and burying his face in it.
Carson backed off, palms raised. "I'm leaving. I'm sorry I scared you Rodney."
"Hey, he's gone now," John whispered, wiping the tears away.
"You said you wouldn't let them..." Rodney began to calm down, but his eyes were still fearful.
"I'm not taking you to medical! I only stopped off to see how Carlin was doing. I told you he got shot on his last mission. None of those quacks are going to touch you. I give you my word."
"The word of an officer?" Rodney was sniffling now, with a couple of hiccups thrown in.
John thought he looked adorable and nearly told him, then thought better of it. "No, the word of John Sheppard. Rodney, you said you trusted me."
"I...I do."
"Then trust me now."
Rodney could do nothing but nod. He did trust John. With his life, his soul...his heart. But he couldn't tell John that, because even if John liked men, he'd never care for a man like Rodney.
Pretty boys never did.
~~~
The Major was growing bored. And with boredom came temperament.
After they'd finished dinner, Rodney had innocently asked him to read some papers for him and John, without thinking, shouted, "Read your own damn papers!"
That had sent Rodney into a fit, screaming back, "If I could read the damn things I wouldn't need you!"
Of course John spiraled straight into a guilt trip of immense proportions and he apologized a half dozen times. But Rodney still refused to talk to him, so John did the only thing he could think of...he began to sing.
Rodney finally started to laugh and accepted the apologies, with the stipulation that John never sing again. He then decided he wanted to take a shower, but John was too afraid he'd fall, then Rodney complained he really hated baths and begged for the shower, so John gave in. He had been in the shower for two minutes when he screamed for John.
John ran in so fast that he slipped on the floor and fell on his tailbone.
"John, are you okay?" Rodney asked softly, hearing the thud.
"Oh yeah, just peachy-keen," John answered, knowing he was going to have a nice-sized black and blue bruise. At this rate, he was planning to apply for workman's comp; taking care of Rodney was becoming hazardous to his physical health. "What'cha need?"
"Soap. I can't find it."
"Rodney, I showered this morning so I know there is soap in there."
"I can't find it."
John pulled back the curtain, leaned down to grab the bar and turned to hand it to Rodney...and at that level, his eyes said 'hello' to Rodney's dick. It was thick and full and he had to fight each and every urge to join Rodney in the shower, drop to his knees and suck Rodney's brains out. Instead he called upon every bit of military discipline he had learned in his life, stood up and handed the soap to Rodney. "If you need anything else..." he paused, "...don't, er, hesitate to call."
"Thanks," Rodney smiled.
John slowly backed away, but his eyes wandered back to Rodney's groin, biting his upper lip to stop the moan he just knew was coming. He slid the curtain closed, wondering who he had pissed off in a previous life to be tortured like this. He enjoyed it when Rodney took baths. Rodney could make them for himself, get in and out on his own and not bother John. But a shower, well, if he had his way, Rodney would never shower again. He walked out, staring at his own dick, which had taken notice of Rodney's and was ready to drill a hole through his pants. "Don't you start with me! We promised we would not, could not and should not, take advantage of him. I know it's rough, but we are military and have learned to deal with anything and everything thrown at us." He nodded in agreement with himself, but his dick ignored his brain and swelled even further. "Aww, c'mon. I'll make a deal with you. You behave and if we find out that Rodney likes men, we'll play with him." He shook his head. "Oh God John, now you're having conversations with your cock." He heard the water go off and got another shout. "YES, RODNEY?!"
"I don't have a towel, John."
John looked heavenward. "Give me strength to not do something extremely stupid." He saw the towel on the bed and stuck his hand through the door. "Here." He sighed again as he realized he'd have to look inside to make sure Rodney could grab the towel. He caught site of Rodney's dick, flung the towel at him and stepped back. "Okay now?"
"Yeah. Thanks."
"My pleasure," he said aloud, adding a silent 'not.'
Rodney came out a few minutes later, towel around his waist and John began to notice that the walls needed repairing, the floor needed to be swept...anything that would keep his eyes off of the half-naked man in front of him. "No PJ's?" he squeaked.
"I forgot them. Are you okay? You don't sound too good. Is there something I can do for you?" Rodney asked, smiling at him.
'Yeah,' John thought, 'you can take off that towel and lay down for me, spread your legs and beg me to...' Aloud, "No, I'm fine. Uh," he looked around, "pajamas are on the bed, right where you left them."
"Thanks." Rodney felt his way to the bed, picking up his pajamas and dropped the towel as he prepared to get dressed.
"Rodney, I just remembered something I have to get from my quarters. I'll be right back." John flew out of there and Rodney just shrugged, got dressed and got into bed.
John intended to go to his quarters, have a bit of privacy and jerk off to his newest fantasy, blowing Rodney in the shower. But he ran into Ford, who wanted to know why he wasn't at the meeting.
"What meeting?"
"Weir and Beckett are discussing Rodney," Ford told him. "I thought you knew." He saw John's eyes fire up. "I guess you didn't."
"Where?"
"In medical."
John nearly ran him over and headed for a transport tube, fuming again. If they were planning on something, he was going to put a quick stop to it. By the time he got to medical, his blood pressure was up, his temper was in full bloom and he was ready for a fight. "You are doing nothing to Rodney!" he flat out told them as he barged in to Beckett's office. "He's been eating his meals and sleeping enough and if you think that I am going to allow you to..."
"Major, calm down," Elizabeth told him.
"No, I won't! I told you, I am prepared to take him to the mainland if necessary."
"Then go ahead," Elizabeth said calmly. "Nobody is going to stop you. If you would get your head out of your ass and listen, you'd allow us to tell you that we think you're doing a wonderful job taking care of him. And if you would pay attention when I speak to you, you'd have known that I asked you to meet us here this evening after supper."
John's mouth dropped open, then shut, then opened again. "When?"
"This morning John, while you were getting your breakfast."
"Oh," John replied sheepishly. He had known she'd spoken to him, but the moment she had said the name 'Rodney' he had tuned her out.
"Major," Beckett said, "what we wanted to talk to you about was leading your team on a new mission. I don't think it's healthy for you to stay here for much longer. You've been short-tempered with everyone and..."
"No, I can't leave him. He needs me too much now."
"That's the problem," Beckett continued. "I think he would be all right without you for a few days. I give you my word that nobody is going to do anything to him. I think he needs some space."
John just shrugged. "I don't know. I have to think about it."
"That's all we ask," Elizabeth smiled.
John stood and left, wondering if they were right. He'd been practically glued to Rodney and hadn't been paying much attention to himself. He remembered his mother telling him to go on an overnight scouting trip, that she'd be fine without him, that she had friends and that he was allowed to have a life. And he had been all of nine years old at the time. Now here he was, thirty-seven, and going through the same uncertainties. He went back to Rodney's room, finding the man laying on the bed, teary-eyed. "Rodney? What happened?"
"I thought you were angry at me again and that you weren't coming back."
John changed into his sweats and lay down, hugging Rodney tight, soothing him. "No, never. I just ran into Ford and we talked for a while." He paused. "I will always come back. I promise you."
"Okay."
"Hey, how about I program your laptop so you can play chess with it? This way, if I'm busy with something, you won't get bored."
"You know how to do that?"
"Yeah. I can upload a verbal command program so it talks to you...and listens."
"You know about computers?"
"Yes, Rodney. I was something of a hacker when I was younger. And I swear, if you tell anyone..."
"I won't John, honest I won't."
"Well that's good. I have a rep as a moron and I'd like it to stay that way, thank you very much."
"I'm tired." Rodney snuggled close. "Verbal commands, huh?"
"Shut up Rodney and go to sleep."
~~~
It took some prodding by Aiden and Teyla to convince John to finally go on the mission. They had been without their team leader for almost two weeks and were preparing to make contact with another race the Athosian's had traded with in the past.
John told Rodney the news after they ate dinner. "I've got help for you while I'm gone and it's only for a few days, I hope, then I'll be back." Rodney was silent the rest of the evening, going to sleep without so much as a 'good-night'. John had been the one to sit up and wonder if he was doing the right thing. At dawn, he called a few of his men together and had a long talk with them.
John got his pack together in what was now his and Rodney's quarters, watching Rodney sitting still. He walked over, sitting beside him, taking one of Rodney's hands in his. "Aren't you going to say good-bye?"
Rodney swallowed hard. "Good-bye John," he whispered. "I...I'll miss you."
John felt his heart break at that moment. Nobody had ever said those words to him before, not even his then-wife when he first went to McMurdo. "Rodney, I'll be back ASAP." He pulled Rodney into a tight hug. "I promise."
Rodney hugged him back. "Come back soon, John. I'm afraid of being alone."
"You won't be alone." John looked into frightened eyes, eyes that stared right through him. "And I'll miss you too." Before he knew what he was doing, he once again leaned in to kiss Rodney, this time good-bye, but Ford chose that moment to intrude and remind John that it was time to leave. "I swear McKay, if you don't eat..."
"I will, I promise. Who's going to be helping me out?"
"Bates. It cost me two weeks of Power Bar rations, so behave yourself." He saw Rodney's mouth open. "And before you say it, the medical staff knows to keep away from you. Bates is under orders to maim and mutilate Beckett if he comes within twenty feet of you."
Rodney smiled, knowing that John hadn't had to pay Bates anything. But he kept quiet, holding back tears when he heard the 'gate power up and knew his team was gone.
"C'mon Doc," Bates said, hand on Rodney's shoulder. "Let's go and get some food."
Rodney slowly discovered that he had many friends on Atlantis; he had thought everyone was being nice to him because they were afraid of John. The mess staff, especially Hart, who usually bitched to him about his diet, were making all his favorites. Stackhouse took him to Kavanagh's room where he happily shortsheeted the man's bed and Jane made Rodney laugh when she described putting dye in Zelenka's food and making his teeth turn green. The one time Beckett came near, Bates gave him a very graphic description of what a marine could do with a simple object such as a spoon; Beckett stayed far away after that.
For three days Rodney seemed to brighten, although he was still too quiet. But he kept his own morale up by thoughts of John coming back...and Aiden and Teyla. They were his family now, something he had never really had. He'd talked to them all through the 'gate, listened to John ordering him to eat five meals a day and to make sure he got at least four hours sleep. Rodney allowed himself a small smile; John knew him very well.
But as the team's short mission stretched into a week, Rodney grew depressed again. And when Kavanagh 'suggested' he take over Rodney's latest project, (which John had been helping Rodney with) and Elizabeth agreed, Rodney stopped eating and returned to the confines of his room. Bates brought them both dinner and Rodney threw his right in the trash.
"Doc, you can't do this. The Major will have my ass if you stop eating again."
"I'm not hungry," Rodney replied curtly, "but thank you for bringing it to me."
"Doc...Rodney...the mission'll be over soon. It's taking longer then it should because the Phila...Philer...Philistines," he smiled, "are such stubborn bastards. You've heard all of the reports." He stared at his own plate. "I'll make a deal with you. You agree to eat the meatloaf and I won't tell you what color it is."
"It's green, I win, go away."
"AHA!" Bates laughed aloud. "It's brown. It actually looks like meat!" Rodney didn't smile, sitting there with his arms folded, looking like a petulant child. "Okay, I didn't want to do this, but if you don't eat, I'm gonna go to that planet and explain to Major Sheppard that you broke your word."
"I..."
"Shep will throw a tantrum and he'll take it out on me, maybe have me scrubbing the grout in the bathrooms with a toothbrush. You don't want that, do ya Doc?" He pushed his own plate toward Rodney. "Have you ever heard a grown marine cry? It's not a pretty sound."
"I'M NOT EATING!!" Rodney threw the plate at him and headed to the balcony.
Stackhouse came inside at that moment. "Is he okay?"
"I don't know. If they don't come back soon..."
"That's what I came to tell you. They're coming back later today, but Sheppard said not to tell him because he wants to surprise Rodney."
Bates took a deep breath. "Thank God. I don't know how much longer I could put up with him."
"You don't mean that and you know it, Bates. It's been fun with him. And I finally learned how the 'gate actually works."
Rodney came back in, a bit calmer.
"Hey Rodney," Bates couldn't help the smile. "You up for some food now?"
Rodney slowly nodded. "I guess."
"Good. Stacks, some food for the man and make it snappy!"
~~~
It was the middle of the night, Atlantis time, when the team returned, tired and nearly broken, but with a viable trade agreement. Elizabeth put off the debriefing until they had post-op physicals and rest. Following medical, they all wanted to see Rodney, but John explained that the man was probably sleeping, that they'd have breakfast together in the morning and tell Rodney about the nice people of Philandra...the nice people who had decided that Ford should be worshipped because he had taught them all to play basketball.
John didn't have to go to his room, because most of his things had been moved into Rodney's. He entered quietly, seeing Stackhouse sitting in a chair, reading his copy of 'War and Peace'.
"Hey Major," he whispered, "good book. I'm almost done."
John rolled his eyes. "How is he?"
"Sleeping like a baby. We did what you said and didn't tell him you were coming back. And he's been behaving, although he was kinda down when you didn't return after a few days. But we cheered him up."
John got a good laugh out of the shortsheeting incident and it felt good to know that Rodney had been well taken care of. "Go get some rest in your own bed. And, uh, thanks. I owe all you guys."
"It's cool, Major. Payback will be if you get him back to normal. It's kinda weird not having him call us stupid grunts all the time. We kinda miss the 'I'm smarter then God and you're all morons' attitude."
"I'll do my best. Goodnight Stacks."
Stackhouse just grinned and John could have sworn he was humming 'Love is Strange' as he walked out.
John took a quick shower, put on his sweats and thought the lights on so he could see Rodney's face. He loved to look at Rodney while he slept. When they went on overnight missions, he purposely lay his sleeping bag next to Rodney's so that when he woke up, the first sight that greeted him was his errant scientist. Teyla observed him observing Rodney one morning and commented on it and his only reply had been to blush. She had just smiled at him and gone back to sleep.
He lay down on his side, propping his chin up on his fist, taking a moment to study that face, starting at the forehead, down the side, to the nose, then the mouth, noticing the changes. Rodney always looked like an excited little kid when he slept, smiling, happy. But the man he saw now looked worn down. John knew logically that Rodney hadn't gotten older, but he appeared to be. And that scared the shit out of him.
His fingers ghosted along Rodney's arm, Rodney sat up abruptly and John smirked. "Miss me?"
The reaction was not what John expected, to say the least. He had expected a snarky 'It's about time,' or 'What did you do to screw things up?'. But what he got was a grateful hug and a man who had obviously missed him very much. "Rodney, I told you I'd come back."
"Too long," Rodney said, breath hitching, "way too long."
"I take it you did miss me."
"Yes."
"I missed you also. And I was told you ate...mostly."
"I'm sorry John, but you were gone and I lost my appetite and Kavanagh took my project away and..."
"Whoa, slow down." John pulled back. "What do you mean Kavanagh took your project away? The artifact we were working on?"
"Elizabeth said it needed further study and she couldn't wait any longer, so she gave it to him and Zelenka." Rodney's mood shifted and his face fell. "It was mine and she had no right!"
John was at a loss of what to say, how to react. He felt in some way that he was dealing with a child who had gotten a toy taken away and given to a sibling. His good mood was slowly eroding due to pure exhaustion. "Rodney, did they finish studying it?"
"No," Rodney sniffled.
"Then here's what I'm going to do...what we are going to do. Tomorrow we see the good Doctor Weir and the artifact goes back to you...and me."
"Thanks," Rodney murmured, finally smiling a bit. "I wanted you to come back, John. I thought if I didn't listen to Bates you'd..."
"That maybe I'd stay away?" John didn't pay attention to himself...or his tone of voice, which was rising. "Christ, Rodney, do you think so little of me that you would think I'd abandon you?"
Rodney was taken aback. "No, I..."
"How could you think anything so stupid?!" John didn't mean to be so cruel, but he was on his last nerve at that point. "You're not a child so stop acting like one!" He saw Rodney's lower lip quivering. "And stop with the damn crying already!"
Rodney shoved him back. "Maybe you should have stayed away!"
"Maybe I should go back to my room!" John got out of bed, picked up his clothes and walked out. He had gotten no more then fifteen feet outside the door when he mentally kicked and cursed himself. 'What the fuck are you doing?! The man missed you and you're treating him like garbage.' He went straight back inside Rodney's room, tossed his clothes on the chair and climbed back into bed. Rodney was faced away and he lay one arm around Rodney's waist, head against Rodney's back.
"God Rodney, I am so sorry I said those things." He so wished for Rodney to be able to see into his eyes; he would know John was telling the truth. "This mission...they don't sleep, the Philandrans. Teyla neglected to tell us that. They look human on the outside, but they don't sleep." He yawned quite loudly. "We spent entire days trying to negotiate with them. All I wanted was one stretch of at least four hours and I didn't get it. I just want some sleep. Just for a little while..." His eyes were closing and he felt Rodney turning around to hold him, his head on Rodney's chest, a hand smoothing his hair. "I needed you there Rodney, I really did. I missed you terribly."
"Shhh, I'm here now." Rodney was surprised John was allowing himself to be held and comforted. Then it ocurred to him that Major Sheppard was his best friend. And friends took care of one another. It had been so very long since Rodney had had a real friend.
John just let himself relax. Rodney had him. He was safe...he was home. "So tired...so fucking tired."
Rodney didn't have to see to know John was fast asleep already. The man's breathing had deepened and his soft snoring filled the room. Rodney wanted to be angry, but he couldn't. He'd been out there and knew very well that other races could try your patience, make you take out your anger on others. He'd done it himself a few times since they'd arrived on Atlantis. 'Maybe it's time I tried to take care of you John,' Rodney thought, 'because it doesn't seem like anyone else is.' He made up his mind to get up before John and make sure the Major had a nice breakfast waiting for him in the morning.
~~~
Rodney was trying to find his way to the mess on his own, but got lost. He stood still, then felt his way along the walls for a com panel. Yes, much as he hated to do it, he was going to have to ask for help. John was going to kill him, he just knew it.
"You okay?"
Rodney started at the voice. "Huh? Oh yeah. I'm just...lost. Who is that?"
"Compton. You remember me, don't you?"
Rodney smiled. "You're the guy who likes hockey."
"Uh, yeah, that's me. You need some help?"
"I need to get to the commissary, er, mess hall."
"This way, Doctor McKay. I'll take you."
If Rodney had been able to see, he would have read the man's face and taken off in the other direction as fast as his feet could carry him.
They had been walking for a while, taken a ride in a transport tube and Rodney was a bit concerned. He knew it shouldn't take this long to get to the mess hall. They finally stopped and Rodney's heart began to race. "Where are we?"
"You don't remember me, do you McKay? The SGC, Jonas Quinn...I lost a fucking promotion because of you!"
Fear suddenly grasped Rodney's chest as he remembered Compton. It had been a few years before and he hadn't put two and two together. "You were the marine that beat up Jonas Quinn in the locker room."
"Yeah, I am. You reported me to O'Neill and that's why I'm still a Lieutenant. That fucking report went into my file because of you!"
"You...you had no right to hurt him."
"He killed Daniel Jackson, then had the balls to ingratiate himself onto SG-1."
"Jonas deserved to be at the SGC, a hell of a lot more then you." Rodney immediately regretted the words as a fist slammed him in the face, followed by numerous punches to the gut; Rodney went down.
"By the time they find you, you'll be nothing but a musty old bag of bones."
Rodney heard the footsteps disappear and he sat up, feeling his face, the blood dripping from his nose. After a few minutes he began to feel around, but couldn't find a door, so he just sat back and prayed for someone to find him and soon.
~~~
John woke up alone and looked around, eyes moving to the table, seeing a piece of paper. He laughed to himself as he saw that Rodney had left him a note, written half on the paper, half on the table and in one long sentence.
'wenttogetyoufoodapologyacceptedinadvancepsyouranasshole'
"It's you're and I owe you more then an apology," John smiled. "And I am an asshole...a very big one, who doesn't deserve a friend like you." He'd make it up to Rodney somehow, he decided, and went to wash up and relieve himself. He sat down and waited...and waited, but after an hour he went to find Rodney, figuring the man was sitting in the mess, eating fresh eggs. And this time, John was going to eat them.
But Rodney wasn't in the mess and he asked around, but nobody had seen him. After two hours of searching, John was starting to worry and enlisted a few people to help him search.
Two hours after that the base had been put on full alert with everyone searching for Rodney.
John was with Ford, and he began to think out loud. "When we find him I'm going to kill him. He's taken ten years off my life with this little stunt."
Ford smirked. "How long have you loved him?"
"I think since I tossed him off the balcony..." John caught himself. "How did you know?"
"I didn't, not until you just confirmed it."
"Great, just great."
"Cheer up, Shep. We'll find him. And when we do, you are going to tell him."
"And if I don't?"
"Then you don't and you continue to be miserable for the rest of eternity."
"Ford, you don't care that I love him?"
"Why should I? You don't think I have more important things to worry about? There are lifeforce sucking aliens out there."
"I'm gay."
"I'm a happy guy also," Ford laughed.
~~~
Rodney woke and it took him a moment to remember where he was. 'Actually, you have no idea where you are,' he thought. 'I should have stayed with my cat.' He felt his nose, thankful it wasn't broken and heard his stomach growl. 'Great, not only do I die a zillion miles from Earth, but I die a starving man.' For the first time he had used the word Earth and not home. 'Well Rodney, you might as well start thinking of this place as home. It is your home now.' He felt his eyes welling with tears yet again. 'I should have asked for help instead of trying to find my own way. Why am I so stubborn?' The tears began to fall and a face formed in his mind as he curled into a ball, holding himself tightly. "Where are you John? Where the hell are you?"
~~~
It had been twenty-four hours and still no sign of Rodney McKay. John was convinced he had jumped off a balcony. But then common sense took over and he realized the complex was so large that Rodney could be anywhere. Something started to creep into his mind and he headed to Elizabeth's office. He remembered a notation in Rodney's file about a problem Rodney had had at the SGC with a marine.
A marine who was stationed on Atlantis.
~~~
Rodney was sick, retching the contents of his empty stomach onto the floor, the metallic taste clinging to his tongue. 'Great, now you're upchucking blood.' That thought made him even more nauseous. He still couldn't see, but that made no difference. He was dizzy and fought the urge to sleep. 'You sleep, you don't wake up,' he reasoned. He was growing tired though and finally gave in. His last thought before he passed out was, 'Hey, if you Ancients are out there, maybe you can help me...ascend. I'd make a good glowy light, really I would.'
~~~
"WHERE IS HE?!" John demanded, slamming Compton against the wall.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Compton answered calmly.
"Rodney McKay. What did you do to him?"
"Doctor Weir, I have no idea what Major Sheppard is talking about."
"I think you do Lieutenant," Elizabeth said coldly. "We went through your file and there's an interesting report regarding Doctor McKay, Jonas Quinn and yourself. He prevented your promotion."
"That was ages ago," Compton told her. "I forgot all about it."
"I don't think so," John snarled. "Now, you can tell us where he is or I dial up a planet at random and throw you through the 'gate."
"You won't do that! You can't!"
"Just watch me."
John quickly grabbed his arms and tied them behind his back, then led him to the 'gate. Everyone left, except for John. "No witnesses Compton. Now start talking and make it quick." When he got no response, John began to hit symbols at random. "I'm not paying attention here and eventually I will hit a planet. The Stargate will open and you will go somewhere. Maybe to a planet where the Wraith have made their home." Nothing was happening, so he opened his mind, concentrated and hit some more symbols. A wormhole engaged immediately, shocking the shit out of him. "The 'gate stays open for thirty-eight minutes from what I understand, so that's how much time you have."
Compton remained calm, the minutes ticking by. John checked his watch and at thirty-six minutes, led Compton towards the wormhole. "Two minute warning." Still Compton said nothing and at thirty-eight minutes, John grabbed him and shoved him forward.
"OKAY! HE'S ON THE LOWEST LEVEL!"
John didn't let go of him, still ready to toss him through.
"Major," Elizabeth said softly as she came over, "let's go find Rodney."
The 'gate shut down, but that didn't stop John's anger. "Pray that he's alive Compton or you will die more horribly then you can possibly imagine." He decked the marine, knocking him off his feet. "I may kill you anyway, just for the hell of it."
It still took close to four hours to find Rodney and John panicked when he caught sight of the man. Rodney was laying down in a pool of vomit and the smell of the blood was quite obvious. He was relieved to find a heartbeat. "McKay?" John helped lift him onto the stretcher. "Rodney, talk to me."
Rodney moaned softly, "Hockey is better then football," before passing out again.
~~~
"Wh'r 'm I?" Rodney whispered, voice hoarse.
"Medical," Carson told him.
Rodney's breathing increased and he felt around his face, but a gentle hand on his arm stilled it.
"I'm here," John said softly. "You're okay. No feeding tubes."
Rodney felt the IV and pulled at it, but John shook his head, taking Rodney's hand in his. "It's just a mild saline solution. You were pretty dehydrated when we found you." His hand was pushed away and Rodney tried to pull the IV out.
Carson held out a syringe and John reluctantly nodded. "Do it. I won't argue with you." It took but a few moments before the sedative took effect and Rodney went back to sleep, although he was still shifting around. The sedative should have calmed him, but it didn't appear to be doing the job it was supposed to.
"Carson," Elizabeth said, while looking at John, "Rodney doesn't have to stay here, does he? There's no reason why we can't move him, IV and all, back to his quarters, is there?"
"I think that may be a good idea," Carson got the message. "I can't have him disturbing my other...patient."
The 'other patient' was Compton, who was laying in another bed with six cracked ribs, a fractured jaw, a broken nose and two swollen eyes. It had taken Sheppard, Ford and Bates to pull Teyla off of him and when they finally did, she managed to get in one swift kick between his legs as well.
Carson grinned. "Let me move some of these items to his room and then we'll move him."
"I'll do it with you," Elizabeth nodded. "It's the least I can do." She smiled at John. "It's my way of apologizing for my...attitude."
Carson and Elizabeth took a few things to Rodney's quarters and noticed some changes when they entered.
The bed was not your standard-issue cot. There were two bedframes side by side and atop them a queen-sized mattress, akin to what the Athosian's made for themselves. It had two pillows...on each side. There was a pair of pajamas on one side, sweatpants on the other. Two small tables were set up as nightstands, one with John's 'War and Peace', the other with a discman. A brief glance in the makeshift closet showed John's clothing side by side with Rodney's, various boots and shoes on the floor. The main table had two laptops and neither could resist peeking in the washroom, grinning to each other; it was a bit overcrowded, with two of everything.
"I think we should stop referring to this room as Rodney's quarters," Carson observed. "It doesn't appear that he's living alone anymore."
"No Carson, it doesn't. Now, let's get Rodney settled. I think we'll all be a bit happier if he's out of medical."
~~~
The next time Rodney woke, he sat up and reached for the IV and once again John's hand covered his.
"Won't stay here," Rodney told him. "I want to go home."
"If by home you mean our room," John laughed, "then you're already there. And stop fiddling with that thing. I promised Beckett you'd keep it in until your stomach can handle solid food. Don't make a liar out of me."
"Home?"
"Yes, fool, home. No more infirmary for you."
Rodney began to grow more cognizant. "Home."
"Yes, Rodney," John sighed, "home."
"I wanted to get you breakfast, take care of you for a change."
"I thought so. I found your note. And yes, I am an ass, yes, I apologize and no, I will not yell at you like that again, no matter what."
"Yes you will, but that's okay. Compton?"
"In the infirmary and not coming out anytime soon."
"What did you do to him?"
"Me? I just punched him in the face. But Teyla, she busted him up a bit. He'll be in medical for at least a month."
"Teyla?"
"Oh yeah. Remind me to never mess with that woman when she's PMSing." Rodney smiled, but it faded as John's words sunk in. "What is it, Rodney?"
"John, you said...you said our room."
"That is one of the reasons I love you. Your ability to understand even the simplest of statements."
Rodney's eyes grew wide as saucers. "What did you say?"
"I said that your ability..." John paused. "Oh boy." He opened his mouth to say something, anything, to take it back. "Um, I..." There was no turning back though. He'd opened Pandora's box and there was no way to close it now. And he really didn't want to.
"John? Did you just say what I think you said?"
"Yeah, I did. I love you."
"You WHAT?!"
"I love you."
"That's what I thought you said." Rodney lay back down.
"Well? Aren't you going to say anything?"
Rodney thought for a moment, considering the words.
"Rodney?"
"Huh, oh yeah. I love you too, John."
"That's good, that's really good. Love can be a bit complicated when only one party feels it."
"I'm..." Rodney yawned, "...still kind of tired."
"Then rest, sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere."
"Sweetheart?"
"Yeah, sweetheart. Unless you prefer lambchop."
"NO!"
"Then what would you like me to call you?"
"How about just plain Rodney?"
"I can deal with that," John leaned down and finally got to touch his lips to Rodney's, a chaste first kiss. "Just plain Rodney." He felt another yawn against his mouth. "It's late and I'm tired also."
Rodney snuggled close. "Not leaving?"
"No Rodney, I'm not leaving. All missions cancelled until you are up and about."
"Staying," Rodney murmured softly, breaths deepening as he fell asleep again.
"Staying. Right here with you."
~~~
A few hours later, Rodney had the first of his night terrors, a horrible dream of being alone, locked up in that room, waking up covered in sweat. John's arms quickly surrounded him, holding him close, telling him everything was okay. Once he got his bearings, realizing where he was, who he was with, he tried to pull John closer, leaning in for a kiss. The kiss he received was gentle, arms holding him, hands rubbing his back, reassuring him that he was safe. It went on every night, the same words heard every time he woke up screaming. He allowed John to pull him down, allowed himself to be held, John reminding him that he was loved.
But everytime Rodney made a move towards making love, John refused. He still felt like he would be taking advantage. And no matter how many times Rodney told him that wasn't the case, John ignored him. So Rodney learned to take comfort in the love itself and stopped trying to convince John that it was okay for them to make love. The nightmares stopped as suddenly as they started, but John had grown into the habit of keeping an ear open while he slept and every time Rodney made a sound, John pulled him close and calmed him.
One week later John finally made a decision to return to the planet where this had all started, with a 'Jumper and a few marines armed to the teeth, ready to force information out of those people as to what they had done to Rodney. Elizabeth thought it was a bad idea, but agreed.
All they managed to accomplish was Bates getting shot in the leg.
Over time, with everyone's help, Rodney began to improve emotionally, learning to get around, although he still wouldn't go anywhere himself. He did start nagging at John to go on a mission Elizabeth had suggested, telling John that he'd be fine. After a few days of prodding, John finally agreed.
Rodney didn't go to the 'gate this time, saying good-bye to John in their room, kissing him softly and promising to behave while he was gone.
"Gonna miss me?"
Rodney shook his head with a smile. "Nope."
"No?" John feigned sadness, wishing Rodney could see him. He had what he considered his best pout on.
"Well, maybe a little bit," Rodney admitted.
"But not too much."
"Not too much."
"I'm glad Rodney. I mean, I might start to think you actually love me or something."
"John, I do and I only meant that..."
John cut him off with another kiss. "Sarcasm, baby. I know you love me."
"Baby?"
"Don't like that one either?"
"Actually John, I do like that one."
"Well then, baby, I'll see you soon."
And so it went...
~~~
One thing Rodney absolutely refused to do was use an electric razor. He'd brought enough blades for a lifetime. But after all the nicks he kept seeing on Rodney's face, John made the decision to shave Rodney from now on. And it was slowly turning into a semi-erotic experience.
John was sitting in Rodney's lap, facing him and trying to get at the side of his cheek.
"Stop that!" John said firmly.
"What?"
"That...moving."
"Why?"
"Because...because it's distracting, that's why."
Rodney shifted again, smirking as he felt just exactly how distracted John really was. "Am I doing that to you?" he asked innocently.
"You know damn well you are. And if you don't stop it, I'm going to end up slitting your throat."
Rodney put his hand over John's, taking the razor and putting it aside. He took John's hand in his, bringing it to his mouth and kissing the palm, leaning his cheek into it. "I won't wait any longer, John. I want you to make love with me."
"Rodney, didn't we talk about this?"
"No, we didn't. You made a decision and it was the wrong one. I am sick of waiting. You tell me you love me, that you care for me, that I mean everything to you. I want you to show it already!"
"I can't. That would be..."
"Don't give me that bullshit about taking advantage of me. Just because I can't see doesn't mean I don't have feelings. I want you to make love to me, to touch me. Because if you don't, you might as well move out. I'm doing fine on my own and don't need a babysitter anymore." The words cut like a sharp knife and Rodney was well aware of it, but he had to do something. When he got no response, Rodney pushed him off and stood. "Get out John. Go move back to your own quarters." He sat on the bed, shaking his head.
John sat down beside him. "I don't want to hurt you."
"What, so suddenly my being unable to see is affecting the rest of me? And you are hurting me. Everytime you hold me and kiss me, but won't let me touch you, and won't touch me, that hurts more then anything."
"I'm sorry."
"Just words, John," Rodney said sadly. "Just words."
"More then words," John said, lips atop Rodney's, kissing him as he hadn't previously. His tongue slid in, sucking on it's twin, moaning into Rodney's mouth.
Rodney pushed him away, coming up for air. "John, you have to make love to me because you want to, not because I want you to."
"I know and I do. But we do it slowly. Anything you want, I won't say no to you." Rodney's breath hitched and John knew what was coming. "No more tears, no more pain. Never again." John motioned Rodney to lay down, laying beside him. His eyes mapped a path down Rodney's body, followed by one hand gently touching his groin, feeling Rodney quiver. "I'll stop if you want."
"I'll never forgive you," Rodney told him in all seriousness.
"If I do anything that hurts you..."
"You won't," Rodney replied with conviction.
"Then just relax," John kissed him softly, lips trailing to Rodney's ear, hot breath blowing inside, "and enjoy the ride..." He pulled Rodney's shirt aside, kissed to Rodney's right shoulder, sucking at the sensitive juncture by his neck and leaving a dark purple bruise. "You're marked now."
"It's a start," Rodney cracked.
John reached out with both hands, brushing the hair from Rodney's brow, palms resting on his face. "So beautiful." He leaned in for another kiss, licking Rodney's lips, pulling back when Rodney moved forward. "I think I'm going to love undressing you." Rodney's shirt was pulled off and he held Rodney close, just feeling the body heat, hands rubbing small circles over Rodney's back. "Can I take off your pants?"
"If you want," Rodney said shyly, a slight blush touching his cheeks. "I'm not..."
"You're not what?" John asked as he lay Rodney down, undoing his pants, nuzzling his crotch, breathing deeply.
"I'm not a pretty boy," Rodney said, turning his head aside, very much embarrassed.
"Who told you that? Tell me, so I can go and kick somebody's ass." John removed Rodney's pants and underwear. "And you're right. You're not a pretty boy." He covered his lover's body with his own, kissing his face, his neck, nibbling on his ear, whispering, "You're beautiful. And don't argue with me because you can't win." More kisses, more sweet words, reassuring Rodney that he was loved. "Wanna undress me?" John sat up, pulling Rodney with him, taking Rodney's hands, placing them on the hem of his tee-shirt.
Rodney hesitated, but pushed it up, John's hand cupping the back of his head, pressing it against his chest. Rodney licked a nipple and John gasped, tightening his fingers in Rodney's hair, shutting out everything but that mouth. Rodney began to suckle, his head moved to the other nipple and he nipped at it. "Ahhh, that's good Rodney..."
John felt the hand on his crotch, lightly rubbing, erection becoming more pronounced with each caress of Rodney's hand. "Take my pants off." John tilted Rodney's face up, kissing him again. "This will be a hell of a lot more fun if we're both naked."
Rodney pushed him backwards and felt around, managing to undo the buttons, initiating a kiss this time. "Help me."
"Nope, you do this on your own," John told him.
Rodney's eyes seemed to darken and he got the most determined look on his face, backing up so he could slide John's pants down. He slid so far down the bed that he nearly fell off, but John grabbed him and pulled him back, Rodney laying beside him. "We'll have to practice this undressing stuff," John laughed, removing his own pants and briefs.
Rodney turned, hands mapping John's face, thumb sliding over his lips. "What gets you hardest John? What do you want me to do?"
"If I asked you to blow me, would that offend you? Do you do that Rodney?"
"As a matter of fact," Rodney grinned, "it is something that I do." He took John's dick in his fist, jerking him slowly, kissing his way down John's body, kneeling between John's legs. He fingered John's balls, licking the tip, tongue in the slit, sucking the head. He sucked about a third of John's dick into his mouth, raising his head, teeth grazing a bit, just enough to tease. He took the tip between his fingers, squeezing gently, feeling the drops of precome, bringing the fingers to John's mouth, wiping the come over John's lips.
John sucked them inside, softly moaning, "Please, more."
Rodney slid his mouth down again, taking John all the way, head swaying from side to side, grasping John's ass so he could pull him deeper.
John was ready to come, but he didn't want it like this. He wanted to be inside Rodney when he exploded...and he knew that's what it would be. An explosion...of mass proportions. He pulled Rodney's head up, seeing the expression, quickly reassuring again. "No, it's...amazing. You're amazing. Baby, I want to be inside you when I come. Can I?"
Rodney answered him by raising himself to his knees, feeling his way under John, pulling John up so they were kneeling before one another. "Yes," he whispered, resting his head on John's shoulder. "Inside me."
"Lube?" John asked quietly.
Rodney took John's fingers, sucking on them, drenching them with saliva. "Spit."
"Might hurt."
"Don't worry about it."
"I do."
"John, I can't wait. I don't have lube and I don't want to stop to search for any. Just do this my way."
John didn't speak, one hand moving down Rodney's back, teasing Rodney's ass, flicking his nail against the puckered hole, slowing easing a finger inside. "Do you have any idea how much I love you?" Two fingers then slid in and Rodney could do nothing but grind his body down, closing his eyes, just feeling. "As much as you love me." John began to suck a nipple, licking and biting, while his fingers made a complete wreck out of Rodney. John shoved them up hard, feeling the small nub, brushing his fingertips over it and Rodney screamed as his prostate was hit.
"AGAIN!"
"Yeah," John moaned, stroking that sweet spot, enjoying each and every shout from his lover.
Rodney was fargone at this point, begging John to do more. "Fuck me."
John shoved in again. "Watch your language," he grinned.
"Please John, I need you...need you inside me."
"Okay, baby. How do you want me?"
"Don't care, any which way."
John lay down, Rodney straddling him. "Now, love?"
Rodney raised himself, "God yes," pulling himself wide.
John took hold of his dick with one hand, slowly guiding it inside. He had gotten about halfway when he heard the sharp gasp. "You okay?" When he received a silent nod, John slid further in, hands on Rodney's waist, rocking him back and forth. He sat up a bit, pulling Rodney's mouth to his. "Kiss me. Now."
Rodney plundered John's mouth, jerking forward and John broke the kiss, whispering, "Relax, sweet Rodney. I've got you." John moved his hips slightly, going deeper still, finally buried balls deep, brushing Rodney's prostate again. Rodney fell back, knowing John would catch him, feeling the hands on his back, John's position driving his dick even deeper.
John thrust up a few times, seeing the come leaking from Rodney's dick and eased him off, leaving Rodney slightly confused. He lay back, pulling Rodney with him. "Enough foreplay for you?"
"That was foreplay?"
"Yep." He rolled Rodney onto his back, tracing a line with a fingertip from Rodney's neck to his groin and back up, all the while kissing Rodney's neck, face, nibbling his ear. As he kissed Rodney's lips, he pinched a nipple, hearing a soft sigh, stealing a glance at Rodney's face. Rodney was in the throes of ecstasy, mouth wide open, a smile on his face. John decided he wanted to hear Rodney sigh again, moan again, anything, so he grasped the other nipple, taking it between this teeth, sucking hard.
Rodney finally moved, hands carding in John's hair, pushing his head further down his body and John kissed and nibbled, stroked and caressed, taking his time. As John's mouth reached his groin, Rodney just knew John was going to stop; John wouldn't want to blow him. He was way to manly for that, Rodney was sure.
But John was full of surprises, taking Rodney's dick in hand, jerking him slowly, tongue licking the length, fingers teasing Rodney's ass again. John placed both hands on Rodney's ass and sucked deep, urging Rodney to fuck his mouth, feeling the tip at the back of his throat. John moaned and Rodney came, John holding him there, reveling in the taste. He didn't move until Rodney was soft and his body had stopped shaking, kissing his way up, taking Rodney's mouth, sharing the taste with him. "I love to give head." He didn't give Rodney a chance to say anything, letting the next kiss go a bit longer then he should have and Rodney was giddy by the time John released his mouth. "I want you more relaxed." Another kiss, this one harder, deeper, longer then the first, not letting go until the need for breath overwhelmed him.
It took Rodney a few moments to gather his wits and by the time he did, he found he was on his hands and knees, John kissing a path along his back.
John teased again, rubbing his dick back and forth against the hole, hands kneading Rodney's ass, nails digging in, torturing his lover. As Rodney shifted back, John moved away, wanting to prolong this. He slid one hand under, feeling Rodney harden, in awe that Rodney was managing to swell again. The man had come no more then five minutes previously.
"Now, John...now."
John was fargone and thrust inside hard, pulling out and shoving in, slow steady movements, feeling Rodney clench around him, pulling him further. "Oh Rodney, lover..." John stroked him faster, "...you are so hot, so tight..."
"Coming..." Rodney sighed, "coming again."
John felt the warmth on his hand, letting himself go. Before he was finished coming inside his lover, he pulled out, covering Rodney's ass with come, leaning down to lick Rodney clean. It was filthy and lewd and perverse and he loved it, knowing somehow that nobody had ever made love to Rodney like this. He laved, licked, sucked, kissed, bit...anything to give his lover pleasure. He finally stopped and Rodney collapsed, John releasing him, turning him over. "So sweet and so beautiful. I love you, Rodney McKay."
"I know," Rodney managed to say, grabbing John by the hair and kissing him.
"And now, my beautiful lover, I need a little rest."
"Sticky, John," Rodney pointed out.
John huffed and went to the washroom, getting a wet cloth to clean them with.
"Wet spot too."
John made a face and got a dry towel, placing it on the sheet. "Happy now?"
Rodney crawled into his arms, laying his head on John's chest, listening to the rhythm of John's heart. "Very much so." He listened until the rhythm in his own chest matched John's. Only then was he able to get to sleep.
~~~
The next time Rodney opened his eyes, he saw light. It took a few minutes but he slowly focused, feeling the body next to his. Turning, he saw John's face, looking quite haggard. "John?"
"What?" John's sleepy voice answered.
"You look like shit."
"Feel like it too." John stretched, getting out of bed, still not hearing what Rodney had said.
"You look much better naked then I imagined."
"Thanks, Rodney. I gotta pee."
Rodney smirked, following John into the washroom, waiting for his words to sink in.
But John was tired and he was washing his face and staring into the mirror when he saw Rodney behind him.
Rodney just smiled. "You are beautiful."
"Whatever, baby. What do you want to do today?" John exited the washroom, still oblivious.
Rodney sighed and relieved himself, then came back into the main room. "You know John, I thought you were keeping the room clean. You're a bigger slob then I am."
"Who cares? Now if you..." John stopped midsentence, mouth dropped open.
"Houston, we have liftoff!" Rodney grinned.
"RODNEY!" John stared at him. And noticed the stare back. "You..."
"I didn't realize your dick was so...damn John, did I have that inside me last night?"
"You can see."
"Well, duh. I just commented on your dick size, didn't I?"
"You can see."
"Yes John, figured that out all by yourself, did you?" Rodney's attentions suddenly moved to the balcony and he walked outside, watching the suns rise. "I'll never take it for granted again. Such a simple thing, it happens every day, but I never knew how lovely it could be."
John followed, standing behind him, arms around Rodney, his chin resting on Rodney's shoulder. "Yeah, I guess I never noticed either. And from now on, we get up every morning to watch."
Rodney turned, arms around John's waist. "I want to make love with you right now. I want to see what I do to you." He kissed John and took him by the hand, leading him inside.
John pulled him into the washroom, turning on the shower. "I had this fantasy..."
"No more fantasies, John. Only realities."
"I've been wanting to blow you in the shower for a while now...suck your brains out through your dick."
"Be my guest," Rodney swept out his arm as he stepped in, bringing John with him.
~~~
After a stop to see Beckett, who stared wide-eyed and backed away (until Rodney reassured him he wouldn't be folded, spindled, mutilated or maimed) John and Rodney headed to Rodney's lab.
"Hello Calvin," Rodney sneered as he entered. "What are you doing?"
"Something you don't need to concern yourself over...Rodney."
"Hmm," Rodney peeked at the computer, "it seems to me that your calculations are wrong. I think I'm going to have to look them over."
Kavanagh stared at him. "You can see!"
"Yes, I can." Rodney poked him in the chest. "So get out of my lab and leave me to my work. Because if you don't," Kavanagh was backed up to the door, "I will see to it that you mop floors for the rest of your stay here!" He practically tossed Kavanagh out, turning to John, a big smirk on his face. "Teach that asshole to stay off my turf."
John pulled him close and kissed him. "I just love you macho geeks."
"And I just love sappy Major's." Rodney returned the kiss, but his attentions were quickly drawn back to the computer. "Let's see what those idiots have been doing while I was...unavailable." He began to flip through screen after screen and John smiled, slowly backing out of the room.
"Have fun, Rodney. I'll see you later."
"Okay, John. Whatever," Rodney muttered.
"I love you."
"Yeah, me too." Rodney paused and jumped out of his chair. "I...I'm sorry, but I've been out of the loop for so long and..."
John shut him up with another kiss. "Don't worry about it. You play for a while. I have my own work to do." He pushed Rodney back to the chair, turning him to face the screen. "Now get to work McKay, and earn your paycheck like the rest of us." One last quick kiss and John headed for the door again.
Rodney laughed and went back to the work at hand. "Zelenka, you imbecile, how could you think..."
John tuned him out, grinning to himself. "Yep, things are finally back to normal." He went off to give Ford and Teyla the news and to advise Elizabeth that his team was ready to go on a mission...all of his team.
~~~~~~~
EPILOGUE:
They couldn't hold Compton in the brig indefinitely and the decision was made to let him out, but a close watch was kept on him. Nobody spoke with him or went near him and he kept his distance from Teyla, who growled everytime she passed him.
Stackhouse found him in the supply room one night and a fight ensued, but the sergeant was thrown against a wall and knocked unconscious. By the time he woke and hit the alarm, it was too late.
Compton made it to the 'gate, quickly taking out the techs on duty and dialed, and John ran in just as he was going through. He nearly followed, then realized he had no idea where he would end up.
Bates finished an inventory and concluded that Compton had taken a large supply of C4 and a few P-90's with numerous rounds.
Later that day, Rodney found John by the 'gate, looking at the dialing panel. "Where did he go, John? And why did he take so much firepower?"
"To the Genii," John replied. "He went to the fucking Genii."
FIN
Chapter or Story - Text Size +
Category: Slash Pairings > McKay/Sheppard
Characters: Aiden Ford, Carson Beckett, Elizabeth Weir, John Sheppard, Original Character, Rodney McKay, Teyla Emmagan
Rating: NC-17
Genres: Angst, First Time, Hurt Comfort
Warnings: Adult themes
Series: None
Word count: 35212; Completed: Yes
Summary: Rodney is blinded during a mission
"It's a game of skill and cunning," Rodney was explaining to Teyla as they exited the PuddleJumper.
"It's a moronic game, with stupid Canucks," John snickered. "Right Ford?"
"Actually sir," Aiden said quietly, "most of the Canucks I've met are pretty nice."
"We're all nice," Rodney grinned. "Although some of you...Yankees..." He chewed on his lip so he wouldn't burst out in a giggle fit.
"I'm only half Yankee," John said proudly. "My mother was from Missouri."
"Actually," Aiden added, "I prefer basketball."
"What is basketball?" Teyla inquired.
"A stupid game," John and Rodney both answered.
"Ah," Teyla grinned, "like football."
"Exactly," Rodney answered quickly.
"Hey!" John tried to sound offended, failing miserably, as always. "Football is a game of skill and...and..."
"Sexy cheerleaders?" Rodney asked innocently.
"Yeah," John nodded happily. "And Hockey doesn't have any. Just stupid Canucks."
"What about the Rangers, sir?" Ford asked, raising an eyebrow.
"They SUCK!" John fired back, nodding smugly. "So they don't count."
Teyla laughed at that, having learned enough Earth slang in the time she had been with them. "I do not understand why you Earth males put so much of your time and energy into sporting events. Elizabeth explained to me that she was a 'football widow' every...Sunday...for a few months out of your year."
"Now let me explain that..." Rodney started, then stopped. "Thank God. People." He glanced in the distance. "Maybe they're," he cast a look at John, "civilized and intelligent."
"Or maybe," John took in their size, "they like football. Look at them. They're all the size of linebackers."
Atlantis' premiere team prepared for the standard 'let's trade stuff, become allies and find ways to defeat the Wraith and other assorted bad guys' meet and greet speech.
One hour later the team was running back to the 'Jumper.
Rodney's legs felt like they were going to go out on him. The PuddleJumper hadn't seemed so far from the village when they had arrived.
Then again, he was able to see where he was going at the time.
It had seemed like a good idea, going into the building and examining the writing, which to his shock appeared to be Goa'uld text. But the elders of the planet were not too thrilled with him, grabbed him and made him look at a bright sphere. When they pulled him away, his sight was gone.
Rodney's screams had brought the rest of the team running, a firefight ensued and they barely got to the PuddleJumper in one piece. Returning to Atlantis, Rodney was immediately given a full exam, but nothing could be found to explain the blindness. His eyesight should have been fine.
But it wasn't.
And Rodney McKay fell into a deep depression, closing himself off and not coming out of his room.
~~~
Rodney jumped as his door opened.
"I brought you some food," Teyla said, with a smile in her voice. "You haven't eaten since you came back."
"Yeah, what she said," John added and Rodney also heard the smile, then heard the plate put in front of him. "Peas at three o'clock, potatoes at nine, meat, or what passes for meat, at six." John put the fork in his hand. "Now eat like a good boy and we won't tell Elizabeth."
"I'm not hungry." Rodney pushed the plate away. "Just go." He heard the door open and shut and made no motion to eat anything.
"Now Rodney," John said, "I made that plate all by myself."
"I thought you left."
"No, Teyla left. I, however, want to make sure you eat."
"I told you I'm not hungry." Rodney heard a chair being pulled out and knew John was sitting down.
"You have to eat. I'm worried about you."
"No."
"Doctor McKay, I'm going to give it to you straight. I am here because I just left Weir's office," John's voice began to rise, "where I spent the BETTER part of an hour talking her OUT of having your ass DRAGGED to medical, STRAPPED DOWN and getting a feeding tube shoved up your FUCKING NOSE!"
John wasn't prepared for the reaction, for the table tossed over, for the usually passive doctor to crawl into a corner, holding the fork like a weapon. If the situation were different, he would have found it humorous. He quickly reminded himself that the man before him was terrified, that he was light years from home and now he was without his sight. And a man he considered his friend was now scaring him even more. John knelt down, hand on Rodney's shoulder, squeezing it gently. "Rodney, I don't want them to hurt you." He got the fork away and pulled Rodney close, cradling him, laying Rodney's head on his shoulder and stroking his hair. "Please eat something."
"I wish I were dead." Rodney struggled in John's embrace, finally giving up, eyes closing, sleeping due to pure exhaustion.
Elizabeth entered a short while later, seeing the mess, shaking her head. "He goes to medical." John faced her with a glare that made her shiver; she'd seen it before, a protective mother shielding her child from danger. But in this case there was something more and that made her hesitant.
"No, I won't let you." John sounded calm, but Elizabeth knew better. The soldier was out and he was ready for a full-fledged battle. And when Rodney began to squirm in his arms, John rubbed his back, whispering soothing sounds, telling Rodney to 'hush' and that he'd take care of him, placing a soft kiss to the top of his head. A small smile played at his lips as Rodney immediately stilled.
"I don't believe it." Elizabeth's mouth dropped open. "John, you're in love with him." It was a statement, not a question.
John blinked at her. "Perceptive, aren't you?"
"How long?"
"Have I loved him or been in love with him? I don't know. And does it really matter in the grand scheme of things?"
"I will give you one more day. If he doesn't eat something, I'll have no choice but to..." She didn't get to finish. If looks could kill, Elizabeth Weir would have been a burning cinder.
"I'll get him to eat. But you keep the medical staff away. I see one of them near him, you'll be responsible for what happens." He studied her face. "I mean it Elizabeth. And I guarantee you I will have every soldier in this complex on my side."
Elizabeth was prepared to answer him, to assert her authority, but realized the futility of it at the moment. "All right Major, you win this round." She backed off, leaving the two men, hoping John could do what he said.
He grabbed a pillow and blanket from the bed, pulled Rodney's back to his chest, yawned and followed Rodney into sleep.
~~~
Rodney awoke and immediately panicked. He thought for a moment that he was in medical, that the threat of forcefeeding had been realized. Until he heard a soft groan and knew it was John holding him in a vice-like grip.
"Hey," the sleepy voice said, "good to have you back with us."
"I have to..." Rodney started.
John let him go. "Can you find your own way to your bathroom?"
"YES!" Rodney's shout startled John, who released him immediately.
John heard the sobs a few minutes later and entered the small room, finding Rodney on the floor, eyes red and puffy, holding a towel.
"I missed."
"Aww Rodney, c'mere." John cleaned him up and led him to the bed. "Stay. I'll clean up the floor." He returned to the bathroom, wetting the cloth and silently wiping up the mess. He came out, softly smiling, seeing what Rodney had changed into. "Uh, I may not have any fashion sense, but blue shirts do not go with brown pants." He was so hoping to get a smile, but all he received was a deeper frown. "Let's change your shirt."
"Why? I'm not going anywhere."
John refused to fight with him. If Rodney wanted to stay shut up in his room, for now at least, John would let him...and stay with him, keep him company. He reached out to untuck Rodney's shirt, which was the wrong move.
"I can undress myself!"
"Okay, I didn't say you couldn't."
"I'm not an invalid so stop treating me like one!" Rodney calmed after a moment, finding his way to a pile of clothing and sifting through it. "Does this one match?"
"Yeah." It was also blue, but John opted to keep his mouth shut this time.
"You're not going to watch me get changed, are you?"
"No Rodney," John sighed, "I'm not. I'm turning around." It was a bold faced lie. John stood there and watched him get changed, wanting to touch, balling his fists to stop himself.
"Will you take me to the balcony?"
"Why? So you can jump?" John chuckled softly. "I don't think so. You jump and I have nobody to fight with. Besides, I promised myself after our first mission that you don't die until I kill you myself."
Rodney's face softened a bit. "Major, why weren't you upset about having to clean up my...mess?"
"Ah, well, my mother lost her sight when I was seven so I'm used to it. I always cleaned up after her."
"What am I going to do?" Rodney asked aloud, though not directly to John. "What if my sight doesn't come back?"
"Then you get a seeing-eyed dog...a Sheppard. Get it?"
"Yeah, I got it Major. You can leave now."
"No reason to. I have my book."
"You're reading a book?" Rodney actually cracked a small smile.
"'Killer Bimbo's from Mars'. They kill with tentacles from their breasts." This time Rodney did laugh. "See, I knew I could get you to laugh. Actually, I'm reading Daniel Jackson's paper on the ancient Egyptians and possible extra-terrestrial life forms."
"I never got the chance to read it," Rodney almost whispered. "I kept meaning to but..."
"Then let me read it to you. I can do funny voices and make it even more interesting."
"Just read it to me."
"You got it. If you eat some breakfast. How about pancakes? I'll order the mess to make you a big stack."
"I'm not..."
John didn't let him finish. "And I'll make a deal with you. You eat one meal and I swipe two of Beckett's Hershey bars for you."
Rodney was a bit surprised and it showed. "You'd do that for me?"
"Not exactly. There's something about Carson Beckett getting upset over missing candy that just makes my day." John put his hand on Rodney's arm. "C'mon."
"NO! I want to eat in here."
"If that's what it takes, then fine. Promise me you'll stay here and wait for me."
"I promise."
John went to get the food and when he returned, he watched with a big grin as Rodney ate the pancakes, followed by the candy bars. He then read to him for about two hours, until Rodney grew tired again and fell asleep. John got Teyla to stay with Rodney while he took the opportunity to report to Elizabeth and apologize to her.
"I, uh, I came to say I was sorry."
"But you're not, are you John," she told him flatly.
"Sorry for threatening your authority, yes. Sorry for challenging you on Rodney's care, no. Elizabeth, he needs me. I told you I love him and I need to take care of him now."
"You have a duty."
"Yes, I do. A duty to take care of my people, one of which is Rodney McKay. He trusts me. Believe me, he's not going to listen to anyone else. You try to give him food and I guarantee you he'll stop eating again. If you forcefeed him...Elizabeth, you'll be killing him inside." His face grew serious. "That I will not permit."
"What would you have me do John?"
"Put Ford in charge of the team for now. He can take Bates and Duncan with him to that planet Teyla suggested. Duncan's a half decent linguist." John paused. "If you don't, I will resign my commission and Pegasus Galaxy or not, it will stand. I will take Rodney to the mainland and he and I will live out the rest of our lives together."
"What makes you so sure, John?"
"As I told Rodney, my mother lost her sight when I was a kid. She had such a hard time of it, but she had friends who helped, who gave her confidence. He needs a friend...me."
"Does he know how you feel?"
"No and for now he doesn't need to. All he needs is one friend. Give me a few days and he'll be back to his snarky self." John smiled smugly. "I guarantee it." He turned to leave.
"John..."
John paused and turned around, but the smile was gone and the eyes were almost black. "This conversation is over."
Elizabeth could have exerted her authority and ordered John to take a mission, should one come up, but then again in the time they had been on Atlantis she had learned one thing: Don't fuck with Major Sheppard.
The man didn't lie and always said what he meant. She had no doubt he would resign and take Rodney away. And morale amongst the military personnel would fall apart. John was the glue that held them together. His own 'snarky' attitude had saved them all more then once and his offbeat way of command had more then endeared him to even the most hardassed marines, not to mention some of the scientists who were under her direct command.
So she would let it rest...for now.
~~~
John was fuming as he left Elizabeth's office. 'Who the hell does she think she is? She doesn't know what's best for Rodney. I do.' He growled to himself and punched a nearby wall, groaning at the pain. 'That fucking hurt.' But he did feel a bit better and hoping that Rodney would be okay with Teyla, John went to do some work on 'Jumper one with Ford.
"How's the Doc?"
"How do you think he is?!" John fired back.
"I was just..."
John sighed, "I know Aiden," wiping his hands over his face, "and I'm sorry for snapping at you."
"If you need help, you know where to find it."
"Thanks, but I can handle him. I don't think too many people are going to be good for him just yet."
"What happened with Weir?"
"I don't know what's wrong with her. She wants Rodney in medical, kept under observation."
"That may not be such a bad idea. Maybe Rodney..."
"I KNOW WHAT RODNEY NEEDS!" John took a few deep breaths to calm himself. "Have you ever been around someone who is suddenly without sight? It was hard enough for her, but Rodney, he's not even on Earth. There is no support group for him. Nobody here understands."
"John, who are you talking about?"
"My mom," John told him, a frown on his face. "A stupid accident when I was seven. My dad, he left a few months later. The bastard couldn't deal with it. So it was just me and her. We couldn't even get her a seeing-eyed dog because she was allergic to 'em, so I had to help her out. And now I have to help Rodney."
"We could help you with him, me and Teyla. And Stacks and Bates and the rest of the...Neanderthals, as Doctor McKay is so fond of referring to us."
"Thanks. I guess I have been kind of nasty lately."
"That's okay. We still love you."
They finished their work and John then headed to a computer to finally go through some of the SGC's mission reports. He had so many to go through and by the time he realized how long he'd been there, almost four hours had passed. "Dammit!" He ran back to Rodney's room, afraid of what he would find. When he entered, he found Teyla sitting in a chair on the far side of the room, staring at Rodney, a confused look on her face and food all over a wall.
"Sergeant Stackhouse brought a tray of food and Doctor McKay is angry with me because I attempted to serve it to him. He has said he is not going to eat and that he wishes to die numerous times."
"It's okay Teyla. You didn't do anything wrong."
"I know this, John. Is there anything else I can do?"
"Yeah, you can go to the mess and bring a fresh tray of food. He'll eat it."
"No I won't," Rodney sneered.
"Just go get the food." The moment Teyla left, John opened his mouth to scream at Rodney, but he paused, feeling for the man before him. "How are you doing?"
"How do you think I'm doing? I can't see and I wish I were dead."
"So do half the people on this base." John's attempt at levity went unnoticed. "Rodney, you remember I told you about my mom? I didn't tell you that my dad left us after and I helped her learn to be on her own and stuff like that. If you'll let me, I'd like to help you too."
"No."
John nodded, then remembered Rodney couldn't see him. A simple motion such as a nod or a smile would not be noticed. "Okay, we do things your way for now. But we do need to discuss your eating habits, or lack of as the case may be. I know the kitchen only cooks shit, but shit is what we have, so shit is what we'll eat." He saw the corners of Rodney's mouth twitch. "In a few moments, Teyla will be bringing us the shit of the day and I think it's chicken. But it might be ham or roast beef or maybe even eggs. Only the mess staff knows for sure and they never tell, because then nobody would eat. And based on the color the wall is, I think it might have been actual shit."
Rodney put his hand over his mouth and his face got red.
"It's okay to laugh," John told him. "Laughter is a good thing." He silently added, 'And that, Rodney McKay, is lesson number one.'
Teyla came back a short while later, brought the tray in, placed it in front of Rodney...and ducked.
"'S'okay Teyla," John snickered. "Rodney won't throw it at you. Will you, Rodney?" He caught the look on Rodney's face. "She ducked." He glanced at the food. "Hmm, it's sort of green, so my guess would be...meat?"
"Your guess would be correct John," Teyla nodded. "However, I cannot figure out what this brown, mucus like substance is."
"Ah," John said, "that would be the gravy." He took a bite. "At least Hart's cooking has improved. It almost tastes like food." He put another piece on the fork and placed it at Rodney's lips. "What do you think Rodney? Is it food or something else?" Rodney shook his head, keeping his mouth shut. "Now Rodney, if you don't try it, I'll have to feed it to Teyla."
"I would not suggest you try that," she warned. "I will hurt you." She turned to Rodney. "Rodney McKay, I do not wish you to die. You are my friend and I do not have many among your people yet. I have lost so many in my short life and I do not wish to lose another."
That got through and Rodney opened his mouth, John shoving the fork in. "Well, what do you think?"
Rodney took the fork. "I think you were right, Major. I think it is shit." But Rodney began to eat.
John smiled at Teyla, mouthing, 'Thank you.'
Teyla just nodded to him with a smile and walked out.
John watched Rodney wolf down his food and when Rodney was done, John placed dessert in his hand. "It's another Hershey bar. I stole this one from Grodin."
"I want to go out to the balcony."
"Rodney, we talked..."
"No, I want to go outside. Please John, take me outside to get some air."
"Promise not to jump?"
Rodney smiled. "Yeah, I do."
John took him by the arm and led him out to the adjacent balcony. "It's a nice night and the suns are setting. Looks like it's going to be two moons tonight."
"What color is the sky?"
"Sort of dark blue." John's attentions turned to Rodney's face, hair blowing from the breeze. "And it's beautiful. I don't think I ever noticed before and maybe I should have." He stood behind Rodney, hands on Rodney's shoulders. "I wish..."
Rodney turned around, not fully realizing the position he was in. "What?"
John leaned in for a kiss, but the door chimes to Rodney's quarters went off and John cursed to himself, debating on how he was going to kill the person on the other side of the door. 'Time for lesson two,' he thought. Aloud, "Rodney, go answer your doorbell."
"I...come with me."
"Nope. Your room, your visitor. I will stay out here. For all you know, it's Santa and he's bringing you a chemistry set so you can blow up the kitchen before the next meal." John watched him feel his way to the door and went back to staring at the sky, thinking about the near kiss. The moment had reminded him of his first real date with Molly Addams and how, when he had gotten the nerve to kiss her, her father opened the front door and told her to come inside. 'So next time, you kiss him.' Deep breath. 'Nope, not gonna happen. You don't take advantage of somebody. If you kiss him and he turns you down or worse, doesn't like men, then what? If the former John, you won't be able to be around him without feeling empty. If the latter, he won't trust you. And if he kisses you back, is he doing it because he likes you or because he's grateful to you for helping him out?' John banged his head against the wall a few times. "God hates me," he muttered. "All the Gods hate me." He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't realize that Rodney's voice was getting louder and ran inside, ready for a fight. Instead he saw Rodney shoving Kavanagh to the door, but Rodney missed on his last shove and Kavanagh slammed into the wall. "Kavanagh, what do you want?"
"None of your business," Kavanagh sneered at him and walked out the door, looking pretty pissed off.
"He's not going to do it!" Rodney shouted, feeling around, getting his hands on a small lantern and throwing it...at John.
"OWW! That hurt!"
"John?" Rodney's voice grew quiet and he looked a bit panicked. "I didn't mean to..."
"Yeah, I'm sure you didn't. And I have to learn when to duck." John winced, feeling his head and the small bump that was forming. "What did he want?"
"My...project. That thing found on the mainland. He...he wants to do the research because I can't see."
"Well he's not going to get the chance," John nodded to himself.
"But he's right. I can't finish it. I can't see what I'm doing. I'm going to let him work on it."
"You're giving in to Kavanagh? I don't think so. I can help you with it. You just describe what you need done and I'll do it."
"But..."
"No buts. In the morning we go to your lab and do a bit of work. If you're good, I will cook some dinner for you tomorrow."
"I've tasted your cooking John. I'd rather eat Weir's."
"Hey, I can whip up a very tasty MRE, thank you very much." He saw the smile on Rodney's face again. "That's right, an MRE. Hell, you can have two. We'll do the mac and cheese because I know how much you love chicken." He guided Rodney to the bathroom. "Now it's time for all good astrophysicists to brush their teeth, wash their face and go to bed."
"I have to...I..."
John stood him in front of the makeshift toilet. "Okay Rodney, you're directly in front of it. Do what you need to do while I clean up your room a bit." He nearly stood there and watched, then did a double take. 'No John, you do not need to watch him do that!' He went into the main room and cleaned up the mess, feeling the bump on his head, which was now a good sized lump. 'Good shot Rodney. If I didn't think it would piss you off, I'd actually go and thank Calvin for getting you all riled up.' He waited for Rodney to come out, then heard the wheezing and ran in. Rodney was spitting and John started to giggle, which quickly turned into a full-fledged laugh.
"It's not funny!"
"Rodney, I don't think brushing your teeth with first aid ointment is proper."
"I thought it was the toothpaste!"
"You should have asked."
Rodney's face fell. "Yeah, I should have."
John rinsed the brush, putting toothpaste on it. "We have to rearrange your bathroom so you know where everything is." He handed it to Rodney. "Brush up. The washcloth is on your right, the soap beside it and your...pajamas...are on the toilet tank. And Rodney, maybe you'll explain to me why you have PJ's with little duckies on them."
"Because the store was out of bunnies!" Rodney fired back.
When Rodney was done, John guided him to the bed and tucked him in. "Bedtime story?"
"No."
"I'm going to get some rest myself, but I'll be back bright and early."
"John?"
"Yeah?"
"Will you stay until I fall asleep?"
The smile on John's face could have lit up Los Angeles for a month. "You got it." He waited until Rodney was out cold before going to his own room. He'd get Rodney into the lab tomorrow and maybe things would start getting back to normal...or as normal as things got on Atlantis.
~~~
John woke at dawn, cursing Atlantis for having two suns. There was nowhere he could sleep and not get the sun in the morning. Not that he ever slept late, but sometimes...
He washed up and thought about what he and Rodney would do today, other then the lab work. Maybe torture Kavanagh a bit or possibly Zelenka. He headed to Rodney's and walked in, not seeing him anywhere. He ran to the balcony and looked there, shaking his head. "No, he wouldn't have jumped." The next stop was the mess and still no sign of him. Passing the women's quarters, he heard a shriek and peeked in, seeing Rodney feeling his way to the door. "RODNEY! What are you doing in here?!"
"It was an accident. Honest," Rodney told him.
John just smiled at the women, making apologies on Rodney's behalf as he dragged him out into the corridor. "What were you doing in there?"
"I thought it was the men's?"
John heard the laughter and turned to see Ford cracking up. "Funny, Ford. Maybe I should go in there and tell them it was you that put Rodney up to this."
Ford stopped laughing. "Sorry sir, but it was too good an opportunity to pass up."
"Of course it was," John smiled himself, taking Rodney by the arm and leading him to a transport tube. 'And at least you got him out of his room,' he added silently.
"Don't the women realize I can't see?"
"Rodney, the fact that you were in their quarters bothered them enough. And you copped more then one feel on your way out. I saw you."
"I like breasts," Rodney smirked. "And I think I got to touch Allenbee's, but I'm not sure. Did I?"
"You did," John grinned. But his grin faded at Rodney's words. 'He likes breasts. So much for him liking you.'
"John?"
"What?"
"I...you stopped talking to me. I really didn't mean to get you angry."
"No, you didn't get me angry. I was just lost in thought, that's all. Now, it's on to your lab and you can explain to me what you were doing with that thing...that artifact...you found."
"Are you sure, John? I know you don't like being in my lab too much."
They exited the tube and Rodney nearly walked smack into a wall, but John intercepted him, avoiding an accident.
"I lied," John laughed. "I wanted to be a mad scientist when I was a kid. Now I get to work with a scientist who is slightly mad." Rodney didn't get it and frowned. "I was only kidding. We really need to work on your sense of humor. Now you and me, we're gonna figure this thing out. You have the brains and I have the..."
"You have the eyes," Rodney said softly.
"See that! You're jumping to conclusions. What I was going to say was that I have the super gene. You know, the one you're always wanting me to use? Maybe I can put it to use."
"You never wanted to use it before."
"I changed my mind. And we have arrived." John opened the door to the lab with a thought and Rodney knew it.
"Show off."
"What can I say? It impresses women," John grinned.
"Doesn't impress me," Rodney replied. "I left the device over there," Rodney moved forward and nearly fell over the chair. He kicked it aside and began to curse. "Stupid fucking chair!" Before John could stop him, he accidentally knocked over a stack of CD-ROMS and brushed his arm over the table, knocking a few more things over. "I can't do this." He reached out to shove his computer off the desk and John reacted, wrapping his arms around Rodney from behind, gently restraining him. Rodney would hate himself later if he did actual damage.
"Rodney, we don't have to do this right now. How about we go and eat something? Did Ford feed you?"
"No," Rodney whispered.
John let him go. "Then that's the problem. You haven't had your morning ration of crap."
"I'm not..."
"McKay, I swear, if you say you're not hungry, I'm going to belt you one."
"I want to go back to my room."
John silently sighed, looking up, wondering what he was going to do. "I'll take you back."
Rodney went straight for the balcony and John followed, wanting to keep an eye on him. But Rodney just stood there, face to the suns, shedding silent tears. He had absolutely no idea that the man beside him was watching him and doing the same.
After a few minutes, John was able to speak. "I...I wanted to go do some more work on 'Jumper one, maybe take her out with Ford. But..."
Rodney turned to the voice, forcing a smile. "I won't jump, John. I promise you that. I just want to feel the sun on my face for a little while."
"I was thinking maybe you could come with us."
"I'm not allowed..."
"We're not going through the 'gate. Think about it. You want sun, you can sit on the shoreline and bask. We'll leave you alone."
This time the smile was genuine. "You mean it?"
"Yeah. And we'll take Teyla and you can tell her more fairy tales. I know she liked Little Red Riding Hood. I think she'll get a kick out of Cinderella." John paused. "And we'll take lots of MRE's." Rodney's smile turned into a grin, which made John grin. "Come along, Doctor McKay. The mainland awaits."
Elizabeth passed them on the way to the landing bay. "Where are you going?"
"I told you Ford and I were going to test out 'Jumper one, see what she could do. Rodney is coming along to keep Teyla company."
"That's not a good idea," Elizabeth said curtly.
"Tough, because he is going. And unless you can find a medical reason as to why he can't go, my decision stands."
"Maybe I should stay," Rodney said meekly.
"Shut up!" John snapped. "You're coming with me and that is final." He practically dragged Rodney away.
"You're angry," Rodney said a few moments later.
"Not at you," John replied softly. "Elizabeth doesn't understand."
"She's mad at me."
"Nobody is angry Rodney. I think she's just afraid."
"Afraid of what?"
"I think Elizabeth is scared that something is going to happen to you and she'll blame herself for it. I know she cares about you and she's just being a bit overprotective, that's all. She'll come around soon."
"I hope you're right."
'I hope so too,' John answered silently.
"Do you blame yourself, John? For what happened to me?"
"I...maybe I do." John admitted. "If I had been with you, watching your six, this never would have happened."
"You don't know that! If you had been there, maybe we'd both be blind now. And I'd have nobody to take care of me!" The words came out before Rodney could stop them and he reached out, placing his hand on John's cheek. "I'd have nobody."
John was glad, sort of, that Rodney couldn't see the blush he was sure came across his face and he put his arm around Rodney's shoulder. "C'mon McKay, let's see what the 'Jumper can do."
Several hours later they returned, and John helped a sleepy Rodney back to his room. The man had spent the entire day regaling the Athosians with 'fairy tales' and the one Teyla enjoyed most was the story of someone called Batman and how he fought evil in a city called Gotham. She wanted more, so Ford took up the slack, telling her a tale as they headed for the recreation area, and their nightly game of Grand Theft Auto on the Playstation2 an anonymous person had so graciously smuggled to Atlantis.
John helped Rodney into bed, pulled off his own boots and lay down on top of the covers.
"John, what are you doing?"
"I'm staying the whole night, Rodney. I don't need Ford taking you somewhere off limits again. From now on, I take you everywhere. At least until you can find your own way around. Now go to sleep."
Rodney turned over, away from John. "Thanks for everything."
John didn't answer, he just waited until he was sure Rodney was sleeping before speaking. "I love you Rodney. I'd do anything for you." He looked upwards again. "Why a geek?"
~~~
In the morning, Rodney seemed a bit happier and John was able to persuade him to come to the mess for breakfast. Lieutenant Hart, who had volunteered himself as mess chef, or 'botulism boy' as he was nicknamed, presented Rodney with a plate of fresh eggs.
"Hey! How come he gets real eggs? And where did you get them?"
Hart smirked at John. "From Holling and I only got two so don't even ask."
"Ya know, I can have you demoted to airman and scrubbing toilets," John told him, but he was smiling when he said it.
"Ah, but then you wouldn't get to sample my fine cuisine." Hart laughed and went back to the kitchen.
"Fresh eggs," John mumbled. "He gets fresh eggs and I get..." John stared at the runny yellow stuff on his plate. "...something else."
Rodney pushed his plate over. "You can have mine."
John pushed it back. "Nah. I'm military and can survive on anything. This is still better then chipped beef on toast."
"They have chipped beef?" Rodney's whole face lit up. "Where?"
"Eat your fresh eggs and keep quiet. Chipped beef on toast, MRE's, infirmary food...sometimes I worry about you McKay...really worry."
Ford came over and gave Rodney his biscuit. "You can throw it at Kavanagh if you want to. It makes a good weapon." He banged it on the edge of the table. "Harder then a hockey puck."
"Maybe later," Rodney smiled. "Thanks."
Rodney held on to John's shoulder as they left the mess and headed down the corridor, John sitting Rodney down in a chair. "I have to take care of something and I'll be right back."
Rodney just nodded and stayed where he was, listening for anything and everything.
"Hello Rodney," Jane's voice said. "Are you here to see Doctor Beckett?"
Rodney immediately stiffened. "I won't go to medical!" He stood, making two fists, ready to fight off anyone who came near him.
"Rodney, are you okay?" Carson asked him, quite concerned.
"STAY AWAY!!" His sightless eyes were moving everywhere, wanting somehow to find John. "I'll die before I let you touch me!"
"Get away from him," John warned, taking Rodney into his arms without thinking.
"I only wanted to say hello to him, you imbecile!" Beckett returned the snarl.
"Keep him away from me," Rodney sobbed, grasping John's shirt like a lifeline and burying his face in it.
Carson backed off, palms raised. "I'm leaving. I'm sorry I scared you Rodney."
"Hey, he's gone now," John whispered, wiping the tears away.
"You said you wouldn't let them..." Rodney began to calm down, but his eyes were still fearful.
"I'm not taking you to medical! I only stopped off to see how Carlin was doing. I told you he got shot on his last mission. None of those quacks are going to touch you. I give you my word."
"The word of an officer?" Rodney was sniffling now, with a couple of hiccups thrown in.
John thought he looked adorable and nearly told him, then thought better of it. "No, the word of John Sheppard. Rodney, you said you trusted me."
"I...I do."
"Then trust me now."
Rodney could do nothing but nod. He did trust John. With his life, his soul...his heart. But he couldn't tell John that, because even if John liked men, he'd never care for a man like Rodney.
Pretty boys never did.
~~~
The Major was growing bored. And with boredom came temperament.
After they'd finished dinner, Rodney had innocently asked him to read some papers for him and John, without thinking, shouted, "Read your own damn papers!"
That had sent Rodney into a fit, screaming back, "If I could read the damn things I wouldn't need you!"
Of course John spiraled straight into a guilt trip of immense proportions and he apologized a half dozen times. But Rodney still refused to talk to him, so John did the only thing he could think of...he began to sing.
Rodney finally started to laugh and accepted the apologies, with the stipulation that John never sing again. He then decided he wanted to take a shower, but John was too afraid he'd fall, then Rodney complained he really hated baths and begged for the shower, so John gave in. He had been in the shower for two minutes when he screamed for John.
John ran in so fast that he slipped on the floor and fell on his tailbone.
"John, are you okay?" Rodney asked softly, hearing the thud.
"Oh yeah, just peachy-keen," John answered, knowing he was going to have a nice-sized black and blue bruise. At this rate, he was planning to apply for workman's comp; taking care of Rodney was becoming hazardous to his physical health. "What'cha need?"
"Soap. I can't find it."
"Rodney, I showered this morning so I know there is soap in there."
"I can't find it."
John pulled back the curtain, leaned down to grab the bar and turned to hand it to Rodney...and at that level, his eyes said 'hello' to Rodney's dick. It was thick and full and he had to fight each and every urge to join Rodney in the shower, drop to his knees and suck Rodney's brains out. Instead he called upon every bit of military discipline he had learned in his life, stood up and handed the soap to Rodney. "If you need anything else..." he paused, "...don't, er, hesitate to call."
"Thanks," Rodney smiled.
John slowly backed away, but his eyes wandered back to Rodney's groin, biting his upper lip to stop the moan he just knew was coming. He slid the curtain closed, wondering who he had pissed off in a previous life to be tortured like this. He enjoyed it when Rodney took baths. Rodney could make them for himself, get in and out on his own and not bother John. But a shower, well, if he had his way, Rodney would never shower again. He walked out, staring at his own dick, which had taken notice of Rodney's and was ready to drill a hole through his pants. "Don't you start with me! We promised we would not, could not and should not, take advantage of him. I know it's rough, but we are military and have learned to deal with anything and everything thrown at us." He nodded in agreement with himself, but his dick ignored his brain and swelled even further. "Aww, c'mon. I'll make a deal with you. You behave and if we find out that Rodney likes men, we'll play with him." He shook his head. "Oh God John, now you're having conversations with your cock." He heard the water go off and got another shout. "YES, RODNEY?!"
"I don't have a towel, John."
John looked heavenward. "Give me strength to not do something extremely stupid." He saw the towel on the bed and stuck his hand through the door. "Here." He sighed again as he realized he'd have to look inside to make sure Rodney could grab the towel. He caught site of Rodney's dick, flung the towel at him and stepped back. "Okay now?"
"Yeah. Thanks."
"My pleasure," he said aloud, adding a silent 'not.'
Rodney came out a few minutes later, towel around his waist and John began to notice that the walls needed repairing, the floor needed to be swept...anything that would keep his eyes off of the half-naked man in front of him. "No PJ's?" he squeaked.
"I forgot them. Are you okay? You don't sound too good. Is there something I can do for you?" Rodney asked, smiling at him.
'Yeah,' John thought, 'you can take off that towel and lay down for me, spread your legs and beg me to...' Aloud, "No, I'm fine. Uh," he looked around, "pajamas are on the bed, right where you left them."
"Thanks." Rodney felt his way to the bed, picking up his pajamas and dropped the towel as he prepared to get dressed.
"Rodney, I just remembered something I have to get from my quarters. I'll be right back." John flew out of there and Rodney just shrugged, got dressed and got into bed.
John intended to go to his quarters, have a bit of privacy and jerk off to his newest fantasy, blowing Rodney in the shower. But he ran into Ford, who wanted to know why he wasn't at the meeting.
"What meeting?"
"Weir and Beckett are discussing Rodney," Ford told him. "I thought you knew." He saw John's eyes fire up. "I guess you didn't."
"Where?"
"In medical."
John nearly ran him over and headed for a transport tube, fuming again. If they were planning on something, he was going to put a quick stop to it. By the time he got to medical, his blood pressure was up, his temper was in full bloom and he was ready for a fight. "You are doing nothing to Rodney!" he flat out told them as he barged in to Beckett's office. "He's been eating his meals and sleeping enough and if you think that I am going to allow you to..."
"Major, calm down," Elizabeth told him.
"No, I won't! I told you, I am prepared to take him to the mainland if necessary."
"Then go ahead," Elizabeth said calmly. "Nobody is going to stop you. If you would get your head out of your ass and listen, you'd allow us to tell you that we think you're doing a wonderful job taking care of him. And if you would pay attention when I speak to you, you'd have known that I asked you to meet us here this evening after supper."
John's mouth dropped open, then shut, then opened again. "When?"
"This morning John, while you were getting your breakfast."
"Oh," John replied sheepishly. He had known she'd spoken to him, but the moment she had said the name 'Rodney' he had tuned her out.
"Major," Beckett said, "what we wanted to talk to you about was leading your team on a new mission. I don't think it's healthy for you to stay here for much longer. You've been short-tempered with everyone and..."
"No, I can't leave him. He needs me too much now."
"That's the problem," Beckett continued. "I think he would be all right without you for a few days. I give you my word that nobody is going to do anything to him. I think he needs some space."
John just shrugged. "I don't know. I have to think about it."
"That's all we ask," Elizabeth smiled.
John stood and left, wondering if they were right. He'd been practically glued to Rodney and hadn't been paying much attention to himself. He remembered his mother telling him to go on an overnight scouting trip, that she'd be fine without him, that she had friends and that he was allowed to have a life. And he had been all of nine years old at the time. Now here he was, thirty-seven, and going through the same uncertainties. He went back to Rodney's room, finding the man laying on the bed, teary-eyed. "Rodney? What happened?"
"I thought you were angry at me again and that you weren't coming back."
John changed into his sweats and lay down, hugging Rodney tight, soothing him. "No, never. I just ran into Ford and we talked for a while." He paused. "I will always come back. I promise you."
"Okay."
"Hey, how about I program your laptop so you can play chess with it? This way, if I'm busy with something, you won't get bored."
"You know how to do that?"
"Yeah. I can upload a verbal command program so it talks to you...and listens."
"You know about computers?"
"Yes, Rodney. I was something of a hacker when I was younger. And I swear, if you tell anyone..."
"I won't John, honest I won't."
"Well that's good. I have a rep as a moron and I'd like it to stay that way, thank you very much."
"I'm tired." Rodney snuggled close. "Verbal commands, huh?"
"Shut up Rodney and go to sleep."
~~~
It took some prodding by Aiden and Teyla to convince John to finally go on the mission. They had been without their team leader for almost two weeks and were preparing to make contact with another race the Athosian's had traded with in the past.
John told Rodney the news after they ate dinner. "I've got help for you while I'm gone and it's only for a few days, I hope, then I'll be back." Rodney was silent the rest of the evening, going to sleep without so much as a 'good-night'. John had been the one to sit up and wonder if he was doing the right thing. At dawn, he called a few of his men together and had a long talk with them.
John got his pack together in what was now his and Rodney's quarters, watching Rodney sitting still. He walked over, sitting beside him, taking one of Rodney's hands in his. "Aren't you going to say good-bye?"
Rodney swallowed hard. "Good-bye John," he whispered. "I...I'll miss you."
John felt his heart break at that moment. Nobody had ever said those words to him before, not even his then-wife when he first went to McMurdo. "Rodney, I'll be back ASAP." He pulled Rodney into a tight hug. "I promise."
Rodney hugged him back. "Come back soon, John. I'm afraid of being alone."
"You won't be alone." John looked into frightened eyes, eyes that stared right through him. "And I'll miss you too." Before he knew what he was doing, he once again leaned in to kiss Rodney, this time good-bye, but Ford chose that moment to intrude and remind John that it was time to leave. "I swear McKay, if you don't eat..."
"I will, I promise. Who's going to be helping me out?"
"Bates. It cost me two weeks of Power Bar rations, so behave yourself." He saw Rodney's mouth open. "And before you say it, the medical staff knows to keep away from you. Bates is under orders to maim and mutilate Beckett if he comes within twenty feet of you."
Rodney smiled, knowing that John hadn't had to pay Bates anything. But he kept quiet, holding back tears when he heard the 'gate power up and knew his team was gone.
"C'mon Doc," Bates said, hand on Rodney's shoulder. "Let's go and get some food."
Rodney slowly discovered that he had many friends on Atlantis; he had thought everyone was being nice to him because they were afraid of John. The mess staff, especially Hart, who usually bitched to him about his diet, were making all his favorites. Stackhouse took him to Kavanagh's room where he happily shortsheeted the man's bed and Jane made Rodney laugh when she described putting dye in Zelenka's food and making his teeth turn green. The one time Beckett came near, Bates gave him a very graphic description of what a marine could do with a simple object such as a spoon; Beckett stayed far away after that.
For three days Rodney seemed to brighten, although he was still too quiet. But he kept his own morale up by thoughts of John coming back...and Aiden and Teyla. They were his family now, something he had never really had. He'd talked to them all through the 'gate, listened to John ordering him to eat five meals a day and to make sure he got at least four hours sleep. Rodney allowed himself a small smile; John knew him very well.
But as the team's short mission stretched into a week, Rodney grew depressed again. And when Kavanagh 'suggested' he take over Rodney's latest project, (which John had been helping Rodney with) and Elizabeth agreed, Rodney stopped eating and returned to the confines of his room. Bates brought them both dinner and Rodney threw his right in the trash.
"Doc, you can't do this. The Major will have my ass if you stop eating again."
"I'm not hungry," Rodney replied curtly, "but thank you for bringing it to me."
"Doc...Rodney...the mission'll be over soon. It's taking longer then it should because the Phila...Philer...Philistines," he smiled, "are such stubborn bastards. You've heard all of the reports." He stared at his own plate. "I'll make a deal with you. You agree to eat the meatloaf and I won't tell you what color it is."
"It's green, I win, go away."
"AHA!" Bates laughed aloud. "It's brown. It actually looks like meat!" Rodney didn't smile, sitting there with his arms folded, looking like a petulant child. "Okay, I didn't want to do this, but if you don't eat, I'm gonna go to that planet and explain to Major Sheppard that you broke your word."
"I..."
"Shep will throw a tantrum and he'll take it out on me, maybe have me scrubbing the grout in the bathrooms with a toothbrush. You don't want that, do ya Doc?" He pushed his own plate toward Rodney. "Have you ever heard a grown marine cry? It's not a pretty sound."
"I'M NOT EATING!!" Rodney threw the plate at him and headed to the balcony.
Stackhouse came inside at that moment. "Is he okay?"
"I don't know. If they don't come back soon..."
"That's what I came to tell you. They're coming back later today, but Sheppard said not to tell him because he wants to surprise Rodney."
Bates took a deep breath. "Thank God. I don't know how much longer I could put up with him."
"You don't mean that and you know it, Bates. It's been fun with him. And I finally learned how the 'gate actually works."
Rodney came back in, a bit calmer.
"Hey Rodney," Bates couldn't help the smile. "You up for some food now?"
Rodney slowly nodded. "I guess."
"Good. Stacks, some food for the man and make it snappy!"
~~~
It was the middle of the night, Atlantis time, when the team returned, tired and nearly broken, but with a viable trade agreement. Elizabeth put off the debriefing until they had post-op physicals and rest. Following medical, they all wanted to see Rodney, but John explained that the man was probably sleeping, that they'd have breakfast together in the morning and tell Rodney about the nice people of Philandra...the nice people who had decided that Ford should be worshipped because he had taught them all to play basketball.
John didn't have to go to his room, because most of his things had been moved into Rodney's. He entered quietly, seeing Stackhouse sitting in a chair, reading his copy of 'War and Peace'.
"Hey Major," he whispered, "good book. I'm almost done."
John rolled his eyes. "How is he?"
"Sleeping like a baby. We did what you said and didn't tell him you were coming back. And he's been behaving, although he was kinda down when you didn't return after a few days. But we cheered him up."
John got a good laugh out of the shortsheeting incident and it felt good to know that Rodney had been well taken care of. "Go get some rest in your own bed. And, uh, thanks. I owe all you guys."
"It's cool, Major. Payback will be if you get him back to normal. It's kinda weird not having him call us stupid grunts all the time. We kinda miss the 'I'm smarter then God and you're all morons' attitude."
"I'll do my best. Goodnight Stacks."
Stackhouse just grinned and John could have sworn he was humming 'Love is Strange' as he walked out.
John took a quick shower, put on his sweats and thought the lights on so he could see Rodney's face. He loved to look at Rodney while he slept. When they went on overnight missions, he purposely lay his sleeping bag next to Rodney's so that when he woke up, the first sight that greeted him was his errant scientist. Teyla observed him observing Rodney one morning and commented on it and his only reply had been to blush. She had just smiled at him and gone back to sleep.
He lay down on his side, propping his chin up on his fist, taking a moment to study that face, starting at the forehead, down the side, to the nose, then the mouth, noticing the changes. Rodney always looked like an excited little kid when he slept, smiling, happy. But the man he saw now looked worn down. John knew logically that Rodney hadn't gotten older, but he appeared to be. And that scared the shit out of him.
His fingers ghosted along Rodney's arm, Rodney sat up abruptly and John smirked. "Miss me?"
The reaction was not what John expected, to say the least. He had expected a snarky 'It's about time,' or 'What did you do to screw things up?'. But what he got was a grateful hug and a man who had obviously missed him very much. "Rodney, I told you I'd come back."
"Too long," Rodney said, breath hitching, "way too long."
"I take it you did miss me."
"Yes."
"I missed you also. And I was told you ate...mostly."
"I'm sorry John, but you were gone and I lost my appetite and Kavanagh took my project away and..."
"Whoa, slow down." John pulled back. "What do you mean Kavanagh took your project away? The artifact we were working on?"
"Elizabeth said it needed further study and she couldn't wait any longer, so she gave it to him and Zelenka." Rodney's mood shifted and his face fell. "It was mine and she had no right!"
John was at a loss of what to say, how to react. He felt in some way that he was dealing with a child who had gotten a toy taken away and given to a sibling. His good mood was slowly eroding due to pure exhaustion. "Rodney, did they finish studying it?"
"No," Rodney sniffled.
"Then here's what I'm going to do...what we are going to do. Tomorrow we see the good Doctor Weir and the artifact goes back to you...and me."
"Thanks," Rodney murmured, finally smiling a bit. "I wanted you to come back, John. I thought if I didn't listen to Bates you'd..."
"That maybe I'd stay away?" John didn't pay attention to himself...or his tone of voice, which was rising. "Christ, Rodney, do you think so little of me that you would think I'd abandon you?"
Rodney was taken aback. "No, I..."
"How could you think anything so stupid?!" John didn't mean to be so cruel, but he was on his last nerve at that point. "You're not a child so stop acting like one!" He saw Rodney's lower lip quivering. "And stop with the damn crying already!"
Rodney shoved him back. "Maybe you should have stayed away!"
"Maybe I should go back to my room!" John got out of bed, picked up his clothes and walked out. He had gotten no more then fifteen feet outside the door when he mentally kicked and cursed himself. 'What the fuck are you doing?! The man missed you and you're treating him like garbage.' He went straight back inside Rodney's room, tossed his clothes on the chair and climbed back into bed. Rodney was faced away and he lay one arm around Rodney's waist, head against Rodney's back.
"God Rodney, I am so sorry I said those things." He so wished for Rodney to be able to see into his eyes; he would know John was telling the truth. "This mission...they don't sleep, the Philandrans. Teyla neglected to tell us that. They look human on the outside, but they don't sleep." He yawned quite loudly. "We spent entire days trying to negotiate with them. All I wanted was one stretch of at least four hours and I didn't get it. I just want some sleep. Just for a little while..." His eyes were closing and he felt Rodney turning around to hold him, his head on Rodney's chest, a hand smoothing his hair. "I needed you there Rodney, I really did. I missed you terribly."
"Shhh, I'm here now." Rodney was surprised John was allowing himself to be held and comforted. Then it ocurred to him that Major Sheppard was his best friend. And friends took care of one another. It had been so very long since Rodney had had a real friend.
John just let himself relax. Rodney had him. He was safe...he was home. "So tired...so fucking tired."
Rodney didn't have to see to know John was fast asleep already. The man's breathing had deepened and his soft snoring filled the room. Rodney wanted to be angry, but he couldn't. He'd been out there and knew very well that other races could try your patience, make you take out your anger on others. He'd done it himself a few times since they'd arrived on Atlantis. 'Maybe it's time I tried to take care of you John,' Rodney thought, 'because it doesn't seem like anyone else is.' He made up his mind to get up before John and make sure the Major had a nice breakfast waiting for him in the morning.
~~~
Rodney was trying to find his way to the mess on his own, but got lost. He stood still, then felt his way along the walls for a com panel. Yes, much as he hated to do it, he was going to have to ask for help. John was going to kill him, he just knew it.
"You okay?"
Rodney started at the voice. "Huh? Oh yeah. I'm just...lost. Who is that?"
"Compton. You remember me, don't you?"
Rodney smiled. "You're the guy who likes hockey."
"Uh, yeah, that's me. You need some help?"
"I need to get to the commissary, er, mess hall."
"This way, Doctor McKay. I'll take you."
If Rodney had been able to see, he would have read the man's face and taken off in the other direction as fast as his feet could carry him.
They had been walking for a while, taken a ride in a transport tube and Rodney was a bit concerned. He knew it shouldn't take this long to get to the mess hall. They finally stopped and Rodney's heart began to race. "Where are we?"
"You don't remember me, do you McKay? The SGC, Jonas Quinn...I lost a fucking promotion because of you!"
Fear suddenly grasped Rodney's chest as he remembered Compton. It had been a few years before and he hadn't put two and two together. "You were the marine that beat up Jonas Quinn in the locker room."
"Yeah, I am. You reported me to O'Neill and that's why I'm still a Lieutenant. That fucking report went into my file because of you!"
"You...you had no right to hurt him."
"He killed Daniel Jackson, then had the balls to ingratiate himself onto SG-1."
"Jonas deserved to be at the SGC, a hell of a lot more then you." Rodney immediately regretted the words as a fist slammed him in the face, followed by numerous punches to the gut; Rodney went down.
"By the time they find you, you'll be nothing but a musty old bag of bones."
Rodney heard the footsteps disappear and he sat up, feeling his face, the blood dripping from his nose. After a few minutes he began to feel around, but couldn't find a door, so he just sat back and prayed for someone to find him and soon.
~~~
John woke up alone and looked around, eyes moving to the table, seeing a piece of paper. He laughed to himself as he saw that Rodney had left him a note, written half on the paper, half on the table and in one long sentence.
'wenttogetyoufoodapologyacceptedinadvancepsyouranasshole'
"It's you're and I owe you more then an apology," John smiled. "And I am an asshole...a very big one, who doesn't deserve a friend like you." He'd make it up to Rodney somehow, he decided, and went to wash up and relieve himself. He sat down and waited...and waited, but after an hour he went to find Rodney, figuring the man was sitting in the mess, eating fresh eggs. And this time, John was going to eat them.
But Rodney wasn't in the mess and he asked around, but nobody had seen him. After two hours of searching, John was starting to worry and enlisted a few people to help him search.
Two hours after that the base had been put on full alert with everyone searching for Rodney.
John was with Ford, and he began to think out loud. "When we find him I'm going to kill him. He's taken ten years off my life with this little stunt."
Ford smirked. "How long have you loved him?"
"I think since I tossed him off the balcony..." John caught himself. "How did you know?"
"I didn't, not until you just confirmed it."
"Great, just great."
"Cheer up, Shep. We'll find him. And when we do, you are going to tell him."
"And if I don't?"
"Then you don't and you continue to be miserable for the rest of eternity."
"Ford, you don't care that I love him?"
"Why should I? You don't think I have more important things to worry about? There are lifeforce sucking aliens out there."
"I'm gay."
"I'm a happy guy also," Ford laughed.
~~~
Rodney woke and it took him a moment to remember where he was. 'Actually, you have no idea where you are,' he thought. 'I should have stayed with my cat.' He felt his nose, thankful it wasn't broken and heard his stomach growl. 'Great, not only do I die a zillion miles from Earth, but I die a starving man.' For the first time he had used the word Earth and not home. 'Well Rodney, you might as well start thinking of this place as home. It is your home now.' He felt his eyes welling with tears yet again. 'I should have asked for help instead of trying to find my own way. Why am I so stubborn?' The tears began to fall and a face formed in his mind as he curled into a ball, holding himself tightly. "Where are you John? Where the hell are you?"
~~~
It had been twenty-four hours and still no sign of Rodney McKay. John was convinced he had jumped off a balcony. But then common sense took over and he realized the complex was so large that Rodney could be anywhere. Something started to creep into his mind and he headed to Elizabeth's office. He remembered a notation in Rodney's file about a problem Rodney had had at the SGC with a marine.
A marine who was stationed on Atlantis.
~~~
Rodney was sick, retching the contents of his empty stomach onto the floor, the metallic taste clinging to his tongue. 'Great, now you're upchucking blood.' That thought made him even more nauseous. He still couldn't see, but that made no difference. He was dizzy and fought the urge to sleep. 'You sleep, you don't wake up,' he reasoned. He was growing tired though and finally gave in. His last thought before he passed out was, 'Hey, if you Ancients are out there, maybe you can help me...ascend. I'd make a good glowy light, really I would.'
~~~
"WHERE IS HE?!" John demanded, slamming Compton against the wall.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Compton answered calmly.
"Rodney McKay. What did you do to him?"
"Doctor Weir, I have no idea what Major Sheppard is talking about."
"I think you do Lieutenant," Elizabeth said coldly. "We went through your file and there's an interesting report regarding Doctor McKay, Jonas Quinn and yourself. He prevented your promotion."
"That was ages ago," Compton told her. "I forgot all about it."
"I don't think so," John snarled. "Now, you can tell us where he is or I dial up a planet at random and throw you through the 'gate."
"You won't do that! You can't!"
"Just watch me."
John quickly grabbed his arms and tied them behind his back, then led him to the 'gate. Everyone left, except for John. "No witnesses Compton. Now start talking and make it quick." When he got no response, John began to hit symbols at random. "I'm not paying attention here and eventually I will hit a planet. The Stargate will open and you will go somewhere. Maybe to a planet where the Wraith have made their home." Nothing was happening, so he opened his mind, concentrated and hit some more symbols. A wormhole engaged immediately, shocking the shit out of him. "The 'gate stays open for thirty-eight minutes from what I understand, so that's how much time you have."
Compton remained calm, the minutes ticking by. John checked his watch and at thirty-six minutes, led Compton towards the wormhole. "Two minute warning." Still Compton said nothing and at thirty-eight minutes, John grabbed him and shoved him forward.
"OKAY! HE'S ON THE LOWEST LEVEL!"
John didn't let go of him, still ready to toss him through.
"Major," Elizabeth said softly as she came over, "let's go find Rodney."
The 'gate shut down, but that didn't stop John's anger. "Pray that he's alive Compton or you will die more horribly then you can possibly imagine." He decked the marine, knocking him off his feet. "I may kill you anyway, just for the hell of it."
It still took close to four hours to find Rodney and John panicked when he caught sight of the man. Rodney was laying down in a pool of vomit and the smell of the blood was quite obvious. He was relieved to find a heartbeat. "McKay?" John helped lift him onto the stretcher. "Rodney, talk to me."
Rodney moaned softly, "Hockey is better then football," before passing out again.
~~~
"Wh'r 'm I?" Rodney whispered, voice hoarse.
"Medical," Carson told him.
Rodney's breathing increased and he felt around his face, but a gentle hand on his arm stilled it.
"I'm here," John said softly. "You're okay. No feeding tubes."
Rodney felt the IV and pulled at it, but John shook his head, taking Rodney's hand in his. "It's just a mild saline solution. You were pretty dehydrated when we found you." His hand was pushed away and Rodney tried to pull the IV out.
Carson held out a syringe and John reluctantly nodded. "Do it. I won't argue with you." It took but a few moments before the sedative took effect and Rodney went back to sleep, although he was still shifting around. The sedative should have calmed him, but it didn't appear to be doing the job it was supposed to.
"Carson," Elizabeth said, while looking at John, "Rodney doesn't have to stay here, does he? There's no reason why we can't move him, IV and all, back to his quarters, is there?"
"I think that may be a good idea," Carson got the message. "I can't have him disturbing my other...patient."
The 'other patient' was Compton, who was laying in another bed with six cracked ribs, a fractured jaw, a broken nose and two swollen eyes. It had taken Sheppard, Ford and Bates to pull Teyla off of him and when they finally did, she managed to get in one swift kick between his legs as well.
Carson grinned. "Let me move some of these items to his room and then we'll move him."
"I'll do it with you," Elizabeth nodded. "It's the least I can do." She smiled at John. "It's my way of apologizing for my...attitude."
Carson and Elizabeth took a few things to Rodney's quarters and noticed some changes when they entered.
The bed was not your standard-issue cot. There were two bedframes side by side and atop them a queen-sized mattress, akin to what the Athosian's made for themselves. It had two pillows...on each side. There was a pair of pajamas on one side, sweatpants on the other. Two small tables were set up as nightstands, one with John's 'War and Peace', the other with a discman. A brief glance in the makeshift closet showed John's clothing side by side with Rodney's, various boots and shoes on the floor. The main table had two laptops and neither could resist peeking in the washroom, grinning to each other; it was a bit overcrowded, with two of everything.
"I think we should stop referring to this room as Rodney's quarters," Carson observed. "It doesn't appear that he's living alone anymore."
"No Carson, it doesn't. Now, let's get Rodney settled. I think we'll all be a bit happier if he's out of medical."
~~~
The next time Rodney woke, he sat up and reached for the IV and once again John's hand covered his.
"Won't stay here," Rodney told him. "I want to go home."
"If by home you mean our room," John laughed, "then you're already there. And stop fiddling with that thing. I promised Beckett you'd keep it in until your stomach can handle solid food. Don't make a liar out of me."
"Home?"
"Yes, fool, home. No more infirmary for you."
Rodney began to grow more cognizant. "Home."
"Yes, Rodney," John sighed, "home."
"I wanted to get you breakfast, take care of you for a change."
"I thought so. I found your note. And yes, I am an ass, yes, I apologize and no, I will not yell at you like that again, no matter what."
"Yes you will, but that's okay. Compton?"
"In the infirmary and not coming out anytime soon."
"What did you do to him?"
"Me? I just punched him in the face. But Teyla, she busted him up a bit. He'll be in medical for at least a month."
"Teyla?"
"Oh yeah. Remind me to never mess with that woman when she's PMSing." Rodney smiled, but it faded as John's words sunk in. "What is it, Rodney?"
"John, you said...you said our room."
"That is one of the reasons I love you. Your ability to understand even the simplest of statements."
Rodney's eyes grew wide as saucers. "What did you say?"
"I said that your ability..." John paused. "Oh boy." He opened his mouth to say something, anything, to take it back. "Um, I..." There was no turning back though. He'd opened Pandora's box and there was no way to close it now. And he really didn't want to.
"John? Did you just say what I think you said?"
"Yeah, I did. I love you."
"You WHAT?!"
"I love you."
"That's what I thought you said." Rodney lay back down.
"Well? Aren't you going to say anything?"
Rodney thought for a moment, considering the words.
"Rodney?"
"Huh, oh yeah. I love you too, John."
"That's good, that's really good. Love can be a bit complicated when only one party feels it."
"I'm..." Rodney yawned, "...still kind of tired."
"Then rest, sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere."
"Sweetheart?"
"Yeah, sweetheart. Unless you prefer lambchop."
"NO!"
"Then what would you like me to call you?"
"How about just plain Rodney?"
"I can deal with that," John leaned down and finally got to touch his lips to Rodney's, a chaste first kiss. "Just plain Rodney." He felt another yawn against his mouth. "It's late and I'm tired also."
Rodney snuggled close. "Not leaving?"
"No Rodney, I'm not leaving. All missions cancelled until you are up and about."
"Staying," Rodney murmured softly, breaths deepening as he fell asleep again.
"Staying. Right here with you."
~~~
A few hours later, Rodney had the first of his night terrors, a horrible dream of being alone, locked up in that room, waking up covered in sweat. John's arms quickly surrounded him, holding him close, telling him everything was okay. Once he got his bearings, realizing where he was, who he was with, he tried to pull John closer, leaning in for a kiss. The kiss he received was gentle, arms holding him, hands rubbing his back, reassuring him that he was safe. It went on every night, the same words heard every time he woke up screaming. He allowed John to pull him down, allowed himself to be held, John reminding him that he was loved.
But everytime Rodney made a move towards making love, John refused. He still felt like he would be taking advantage. And no matter how many times Rodney told him that wasn't the case, John ignored him. So Rodney learned to take comfort in the love itself and stopped trying to convince John that it was okay for them to make love. The nightmares stopped as suddenly as they started, but John had grown into the habit of keeping an ear open while he slept and every time Rodney made a sound, John pulled him close and calmed him.
One week later John finally made a decision to return to the planet where this had all started, with a 'Jumper and a few marines armed to the teeth, ready to force information out of those people as to what they had done to Rodney. Elizabeth thought it was a bad idea, but agreed.
All they managed to accomplish was Bates getting shot in the leg.
Over time, with everyone's help, Rodney began to improve emotionally, learning to get around, although he still wouldn't go anywhere himself. He did start nagging at John to go on a mission Elizabeth had suggested, telling John that he'd be fine. After a few days of prodding, John finally agreed.
Rodney didn't go to the 'gate this time, saying good-bye to John in their room, kissing him softly and promising to behave while he was gone.
"Gonna miss me?"
Rodney shook his head with a smile. "Nope."
"No?" John feigned sadness, wishing Rodney could see him. He had what he considered his best pout on.
"Well, maybe a little bit," Rodney admitted.
"But not too much."
"Not too much."
"I'm glad Rodney. I mean, I might start to think you actually love me or something."
"John, I do and I only meant that..."
John cut him off with another kiss. "Sarcasm, baby. I know you love me."
"Baby?"
"Don't like that one either?"
"Actually John, I do like that one."
"Well then, baby, I'll see you soon."
And so it went...
~~~
One thing Rodney absolutely refused to do was use an electric razor. He'd brought enough blades for a lifetime. But after all the nicks he kept seeing on Rodney's face, John made the decision to shave Rodney from now on. And it was slowly turning into a semi-erotic experience.
John was sitting in Rodney's lap, facing him and trying to get at the side of his cheek.
"Stop that!" John said firmly.
"What?"
"That...moving."
"Why?"
"Because...because it's distracting, that's why."
Rodney shifted again, smirking as he felt just exactly how distracted John really was. "Am I doing that to you?" he asked innocently.
"You know damn well you are. And if you don't stop it, I'm going to end up slitting your throat."
Rodney put his hand over John's, taking the razor and putting it aside. He took John's hand in his, bringing it to his mouth and kissing the palm, leaning his cheek into it. "I won't wait any longer, John. I want you to make love with me."
"Rodney, didn't we talk about this?"
"No, we didn't. You made a decision and it was the wrong one. I am sick of waiting. You tell me you love me, that you care for me, that I mean everything to you. I want you to show it already!"
"I can't. That would be..."
"Don't give me that bullshit about taking advantage of me. Just because I can't see doesn't mean I don't have feelings. I want you to make love to me, to touch me. Because if you don't, you might as well move out. I'm doing fine on my own and don't need a babysitter anymore." The words cut like a sharp knife and Rodney was well aware of it, but he had to do something. When he got no response, Rodney pushed him off and stood. "Get out John. Go move back to your own quarters." He sat on the bed, shaking his head.
John sat down beside him. "I don't want to hurt you."
"What, so suddenly my being unable to see is affecting the rest of me? And you are hurting me. Everytime you hold me and kiss me, but won't let me touch you, and won't touch me, that hurts more then anything."
"I'm sorry."
"Just words, John," Rodney said sadly. "Just words."
"More then words," John said, lips atop Rodney's, kissing him as he hadn't previously. His tongue slid in, sucking on it's twin, moaning into Rodney's mouth.
Rodney pushed him away, coming up for air. "John, you have to make love to me because you want to, not because I want you to."
"I know and I do. But we do it slowly. Anything you want, I won't say no to you." Rodney's breath hitched and John knew what was coming. "No more tears, no more pain. Never again." John motioned Rodney to lay down, laying beside him. His eyes mapped a path down Rodney's body, followed by one hand gently touching his groin, feeling Rodney quiver. "I'll stop if you want."
"I'll never forgive you," Rodney told him in all seriousness.
"If I do anything that hurts you..."
"You won't," Rodney replied with conviction.
"Then just relax," John kissed him softly, lips trailing to Rodney's ear, hot breath blowing inside, "and enjoy the ride..." He pulled Rodney's shirt aside, kissed to Rodney's right shoulder, sucking at the sensitive juncture by his neck and leaving a dark purple bruise. "You're marked now."
"It's a start," Rodney cracked.
John reached out with both hands, brushing the hair from Rodney's brow, palms resting on his face. "So beautiful." He leaned in for another kiss, licking Rodney's lips, pulling back when Rodney moved forward. "I think I'm going to love undressing you." Rodney's shirt was pulled off and he held Rodney close, just feeling the body heat, hands rubbing small circles over Rodney's back. "Can I take off your pants?"
"If you want," Rodney said shyly, a slight blush touching his cheeks. "I'm not..."
"You're not what?" John asked as he lay Rodney down, undoing his pants, nuzzling his crotch, breathing deeply.
"I'm not a pretty boy," Rodney said, turning his head aside, very much embarrassed.
"Who told you that? Tell me, so I can go and kick somebody's ass." John removed Rodney's pants and underwear. "And you're right. You're not a pretty boy." He covered his lover's body with his own, kissing his face, his neck, nibbling on his ear, whispering, "You're beautiful. And don't argue with me because you can't win." More kisses, more sweet words, reassuring Rodney that he was loved. "Wanna undress me?" John sat up, pulling Rodney with him, taking Rodney's hands, placing them on the hem of his tee-shirt.
Rodney hesitated, but pushed it up, John's hand cupping the back of his head, pressing it against his chest. Rodney licked a nipple and John gasped, tightening his fingers in Rodney's hair, shutting out everything but that mouth. Rodney began to suckle, his head moved to the other nipple and he nipped at it. "Ahhh, that's good Rodney..."
John felt the hand on his crotch, lightly rubbing, erection becoming more pronounced with each caress of Rodney's hand. "Take my pants off." John tilted Rodney's face up, kissing him again. "This will be a hell of a lot more fun if we're both naked."
Rodney pushed him backwards and felt around, managing to undo the buttons, initiating a kiss this time. "Help me."
"Nope, you do this on your own," John told him.
Rodney's eyes seemed to darken and he got the most determined look on his face, backing up so he could slide John's pants down. He slid so far down the bed that he nearly fell off, but John grabbed him and pulled him back, Rodney laying beside him. "We'll have to practice this undressing stuff," John laughed, removing his own pants and briefs.
Rodney turned, hands mapping John's face, thumb sliding over his lips. "What gets you hardest John? What do you want me to do?"
"If I asked you to blow me, would that offend you? Do you do that Rodney?"
"As a matter of fact," Rodney grinned, "it is something that I do." He took John's dick in his fist, jerking him slowly, kissing his way down John's body, kneeling between John's legs. He fingered John's balls, licking the tip, tongue in the slit, sucking the head. He sucked about a third of John's dick into his mouth, raising his head, teeth grazing a bit, just enough to tease. He took the tip between his fingers, squeezing gently, feeling the drops of precome, bringing the fingers to John's mouth, wiping the come over John's lips.
John sucked them inside, softly moaning, "Please, more."
Rodney slid his mouth down again, taking John all the way, head swaying from side to side, grasping John's ass so he could pull him deeper.
John was ready to come, but he didn't want it like this. He wanted to be inside Rodney when he exploded...and he knew that's what it would be. An explosion...of mass proportions. He pulled Rodney's head up, seeing the expression, quickly reassuring again. "No, it's...amazing. You're amazing. Baby, I want to be inside you when I come. Can I?"
Rodney answered him by raising himself to his knees, feeling his way under John, pulling John up so they were kneeling before one another. "Yes," he whispered, resting his head on John's shoulder. "Inside me."
"Lube?" John asked quietly.
Rodney took John's fingers, sucking on them, drenching them with saliva. "Spit."
"Might hurt."
"Don't worry about it."
"I do."
"John, I can't wait. I don't have lube and I don't want to stop to search for any. Just do this my way."
John didn't speak, one hand moving down Rodney's back, teasing Rodney's ass, flicking his nail against the puckered hole, slowing easing a finger inside. "Do you have any idea how much I love you?" Two fingers then slid in and Rodney could do nothing but grind his body down, closing his eyes, just feeling. "As much as you love me." John began to suck a nipple, licking and biting, while his fingers made a complete wreck out of Rodney. John shoved them up hard, feeling the small nub, brushing his fingertips over it and Rodney screamed as his prostate was hit.
"AGAIN!"
"Yeah," John moaned, stroking that sweet spot, enjoying each and every shout from his lover.
Rodney was fargone at this point, begging John to do more. "Fuck me."
John shoved in again. "Watch your language," he grinned.
"Please John, I need you...need you inside me."
"Okay, baby. How do you want me?"
"Don't care, any which way."
John lay down, Rodney straddling him. "Now, love?"
Rodney raised himself, "God yes," pulling himself wide.
John took hold of his dick with one hand, slowly guiding it inside. He had gotten about halfway when he heard the sharp gasp. "You okay?" When he received a silent nod, John slid further in, hands on Rodney's waist, rocking him back and forth. He sat up a bit, pulling Rodney's mouth to his. "Kiss me. Now."
Rodney plundered John's mouth, jerking forward and John broke the kiss, whispering, "Relax, sweet Rodney. I've got you." John moved his hips slightly, going deeper still, finally buried balls deep, brushing Rodney's prostate again. Rodney fell back, knowing John would catch him, feeling the hands on his back, John's position driving his dick even deeper.
John thrust up a few times, seeing the come leaking from Rodney's dick and eased him off, leaving Rodney slightly confused. He lay back, pulling Rodney with him. "Enough foreplay for you?"
"That was foreplay?"
"Yep." He rolled Rodney onto his back, tracing a line with a fingertip from Rodney's neck to his groin and back up, all the while kissing Rodney's neck, face, nibbling his ear. As he kissed Rodney's lips, he pinched a nipple, hearing a soft sigh, stealing a glance at Rodney's face. Rodney was in the throes of ecstasy, mouth wide open, a smile on his face. John decided he wanted to hear Rodney sigh again, moan again, anything, so he grasped the other nipple, taking it between this teeth, sucking hard.
Rodney finally moved, hands carding in John's hair, pushing his head further down his body and John kissed and nibbled, stroked and caressed, taking his time. As John's mouth reached his groin, Rodney just knew John was going to stop; John wouldn't want to blow him. He was way to manly for that, Rodney was sure.
But John was full of surprises, taking Rodney's dick in hand, jerking him slowly, tongue licking the length, fingers teasing Rodney's ass again. John placed both hands on Rodney's ass and sucked deep, urging Rodney to fuck his mouth, feeling the tip at the back of his throat. John moaned and Rodney came, John holding him there, reveling in the taste. He didn't move until Rodney was soft and his body had stopped shaking, kissing his way up, taking Rodney's mouth, sharing the taste with him. "I love to give head." He didn't give Rodney a chance to say anything, letting the next kiss go a bit longer then he should have and Rodney was giddy by the time John released his mouth. "I want you more relaxed." Another kiss, this one harder, deeper, longer then the first, not letting go until the need for breath overwhelmed him.
It took Rodney a few moments to gather his wits and by the time he did, he found he was on his hands and knees, John kissing a path along his back.
John teased again, rubbing his dick back and forth against the hole, hands kneading Rodney's ass, nails digging in, torturing his lover. As Rodney shifted back, John moved away, wanting to prolong this. He slid one hand under, feeling Rodney harden, in awe that Rodney was managing to swell again. The man had come no more then five minutes previously.
"Now, John...now."
John was fargone and thrust inside hard, pulling out and shoving in, slow steady movements, feeling Rodney clench around him, pulling him further. "Oh Rodney, lover..." John stroked him faster, "...you are so hot, so tight..."
"Coming..." Rodney sighed, "coming again."
John felt the warmth on his hand, letting himself go. Before he was finished coming inside his lover, he pulled out, covering Rodney's ass with come, leaning down to lick Rodney clean. It was filthy and lewd and perverse and he loved it, knowing somehow that nobody had ever made love to Rodney like this. He laved, licked, sucked, kissed, bit...anything to give his lover pleasure. He finally stopped and Rodney collapsed, John releasing him, turning him over. "So sweet and so beautiful. I love you, Rodney McKay."
"I know," Rodney managed to say, grabbing John by the hair and kissing him.
"And now, my beautiful lover, I need a little rest."
"Sticky, John," Rodney pointed out.
John huffed and went to the washroom, getting a wet cloth to clean them with.
"Wet spot too."
John made a face and got a dry towel, placing it on the sheet. "Happy now?"
Rodney crawled into his arms, laying his head on John's chest, listening to the rhythm of John's heart. "Very much so." He listened until the rhythm in his own chest matched John's. Only then was he able to get to sleep.
~~~
The next time Rodney opened his eyes, he saw light. It took a few minutes but he slowly focused, feeling the body next to his. Turning, he saw John's face, looking quite haggard. "John?"
"What?" John's sleepy voice answered.
"You look like shit."
"Feel like it too." John stretched, getting out of bed, still not hearing what Rodney had said.
"You look much better naked then I imagined."
"Thanks, Rodney. I gotta pee."
Rodney smirked, following John into the washroom, waiting for his words to sink in.
But John was tired and he was washing his face and staring into the mirror when he saw Rodney behind him.
Rodney just smiled. "You are beautiful."
"Whatever, baby. What do you want to do today?" John exited the washroom, still oblivious.
Rodney sighed and relieved himself, then came back into the main room. "You know John, I thought you were keeping the room clean. You're a bigger slob then I am."
"Who cares? Now if you..." John stopped midsentence, mouth dropped open.
"Houston, we have liftoff!" Rodney grinned.
"RODNEY!" John stared at him. And noticed the stare back. "You..."
"I didn't realize your dick was so...damn John, did I have that inside me last night?"
"You can see."
"Well, duh. I just commented on your dick size, didn't I?"
"You can see."
"Yes John, figured that out all by yourself, did you?" Rodney's attentions suddenly moved to the balcony and he walked outside, watching the suns rise. "I'll never take it for granted again. Such a simple thing, it happens every day, but I never knew how lovely it could be."
John followed, standing behind him, arms around Rodney, his chin resting on Rodney's shoulder. "Yeah, I guess I never noticed either. And from now on, we get up every morning to watch."
Rodney turned, arms around John's waist. "I want to make love with you right now. I want to see what I do to you." He kissed John and took him by the hand, leading him inside.
John pulled him into the washroom, turning on the shower. "I had this fantasy..."
"No more fantasies, John. Only realities."
"I've been wanting to blow you in the shower for a while now...suck your brains out through your dick."
"Be my guest," Rodney swept out his arm as he stepped in, bringing John with him.
~~~
After a stop to see Beckett, who stared wide-eyed and backed away (until Rodney reassured him he wouldn't be folded, spindled, mutilated or maimed) John and Rodney headed to Rodney's lab.
"Hello Calvin," Rodney sneered as he entered. "What are you doing?"
"Something you don't need to concern yourself over...Rodney."
"Hmm," Rodney peeked at the computer, "it seems to me that your calculations are wrong. I think I'm going to have to look them over."
Kavanagh stared at him. "You can see!"
"Yes, I can." Rodney poked him in the chest. "So get out of my lab and leave me to my work. Because if you don't," Kavanagh was backed up to the door, "I will see to it that you mop floors for the rest of your stay here!" He practically tossed Kavanagh out, turning to John, a big smirk on his face. "Teach that asshole to stay off my turf."
John pulled him close and kissed him. "I just love you macho geeks."
"And I just love sappy Major's." Rodney returned the kiss, but his attentions were quickly drawn back to the computer. "Let's see what those idiots have been doing while I was...unavailable." He began to flip through screen after screen and John smiled, slowly backing out of the room.
"Have fun, Rodney. I'll see you later."
"Okay, John. Whatever," Rodney muttered.
"I love you."
"Yeah, me too." Rodney paused and jumped out of his chair. "I...I'm sorry, but I've been out of the loop for so long and..."
John shut him up with another kiss. "Don't worry about it. You play for a while. I have my own work to do." He pushed Rodney back to the chair, turning him to face the screen. "Now get to work McKay, and earn your paycheck like the rest of us." One last quick kiss and John headed for the door again.
Rodney laughed and went back to the work at hand. "Zelenka, you imbecile, how could you think..."
John tuned him out, grinning to himself. "Yep, things are finally back to normal." He went off to give Ford and Teyla the news and to advise Elizabeth that his team was ready to go on a mission...all of his team.
~~~~~~~
EPILOGUE:
They couldn't hold Compton in the brig indefinitely and the decision was made to let him out, but a close watch was kept on him. Nobody spoke with him or went near him and he kept his distance from Teyla, who growled everytime she passed him.
Stackhouse found him in the supply room one night and a fight ensued, but the sergeant was thrown against a wall and knocked unconscious. By the time he woke and hit the alarm, it was too late.
Compton made it to the 'gate, quickly taking out the techs on duty and dialed, and John ran in just as he was going through. He nearly followed, then realized he had no idea where he would end up.
Bates finished an inventory and concluded that Compton had taken a large supply of C4 and a few P-90's with numerous rounds.
Later that day, Rodney found John by the 'gate, looking at the dialing panel. "Where did he go, John? And why did he take so much firepower?"
"To the Genii," John replied. "He went to the fucking Genii."
FIN