It was pretty sure they were all going to die. Die horribly and painfully, and old.
But that wasn't what he was worried about.
He was going to die alone.
There had been Kate but just like his predisposition for blondes there was also his reaction to certain doom that she hadn't handled well, each of them only exacerbating the others fear.
It was a stressful time, which had been how he'd got hurt again.
The truth had come out and it hadn't been pretty. His cheek still hurt he remembered, touching it gently, wistful at the passion to the hit. If only the rest of the relationship had been like that, in reverse.
The thing was he could now see those kinds of risks always left him vulnerable and he couldn't take it. He wanted something to be sure of, at least more so than the things he'd previously thought were certain. Kate had seemed certain that she loved him but also certain she didn't want to be with him by the end.
Which was why he was alone. Why he walked the corridors of Atlantis in the middle of the night.
They were only a day away, the last chance for sleep and he couldn't.
In one way this was for the best, that he'd die leaving no one behind, no loving spouse and 2.4 kids. But who was he kidding, when had that ever been a possibility?
He wasn't the only one either, which was why he made his way to his destination.
She was alone too and if he knew her well she'd be awake just the same.
He'd caught her crying yesterday, a few tears in between reports, nearly silent.
And he'd said nothing, pretending they hadn't existed; thinking it better to ignore it, let it slip.
Only it wasn't, was it?
They were all going to get the life sucked out of them or blasted to bits.
Tonight was the last chance for any redemption, last chance for anything to be said, for anything they had left.
He wanted comfort, that was all. A friend, someone safe to hold onto as the world came crashing down.
Because he was sick of risks. Taking risks had never truly worked out with him.
Because the real love, in his not so extensive experience, was painful. Red like hearts, bleeding all over.
This time he wanted something simple, something not so risky. Friendship would have to do. It was a good start.
And she was as good a friend as you could get without being more.
Elizabeth was reliable, trustworthy, someone who could calm him. He could open up to her and not feel so vulnerable.
In fact this friendship sounded a lot better than any 'love' he'd had and it was all he had now, and everything he needed.
But it depended what was best for her, what Elizabeth wanted. It might have been a misjudgment to think she wanted him there at the end of their days but she had let Simon go, him being in another galaxy entirely anyway and it was stressful for everyone. They were going to die and no one wanted to die alone. It was comfort, companionship and nothing else in his mind. Going there to talk but not talking because words seemed silly and useless when you were going to die. If no one in the course of human history had managed to find anything to gloss death over with then he certainly wasn't likely to in the next 24 hours.
She'd opened the door to her quarters silently, evidence of tears streaked down her face.
Her angelic face mournful, her beauty there but shattered by the responsibility, the magnitude of what would soon be upon them.
And all he'd wanted to do was take the pain away, for her, for him – for everyone.
They'd sat down, his embrace of her tentative but strong.
She held on for dear life and he felt like he was her lifeline to get through the night.
Comfort had been all that was on his mind, well maybe not all exactly, but it was the motivation. Why he went to her, why he claimed her body to his arms and sat there rubbing her back, attempting to ease the angst a little.
Only he'd not expected anything else, perhaps not even expecting that move towards something deeper - thinking any hint of his suggestion might earn him a slap on the cheek, a glare saying she despised him, just as every other woman tended to do if he ever crossed the line from stranger to anything else. But surprisingly their friendship held, as he held onto her wilting form.
The line crossed of their simple friendship into an unknown territory, more than friends, the title of good friends looming on the horizon. And then he put himself out on the line. Heart dangled into the waters, testing it, ready for the sharks to come biting.
There was an irony that this was the riskiest thing he'd ever done but it felt a lot safer than anything else in his life. There's were only two outcomes he could see and if it all went horribly wrong then....
He didn't want to think about that, though he did doubt it would go the right way because his luck with women was atrocious. Had been his whole life and the last day had only proved that further.
He'd kissed her, pressing his shivering lips to hers. Shifting his body to come in contact with her, desperate for her warmth.
She'd never stopped him, and eventually they'd come to the truth, what he was really there for, what he really wanted to ask for.
Ask and you may receive, it seemed.
He hadn't expected to want it for anything else.
He'd prayed for that safety but not realised he might get more than he'd bargained for.
There was a familiarity there, a bond that ran deep between them and now it was turned over and inside out. Only it wasn't just comfort or even a singular lust. There wasn't a pretense that she was anyone else other than her or that he was Simon, something else was there and somehow it was more than the last man/woman scenario it would seem like.
She was safe, yes, as he'd wished and desired but that didn't stop her being passionate.
It didn't make it gentle or guarded s she slid on top of him, pushing him onto his back so he was trapped on her bed.
He'd opened up to her but not expected her to take him in as she had, feeling her lips catching his gladly, willingly pulling him closer. Like a wild dream that he'd never had about her, all the suddenly happening. The borders breaking down finally, there in the early hours of their last day.
Elizabeth Weir was their fearless leader, his best friend and the woman currently whispering forbidden things into his ear.
The end of the world hadn't looked so bad then.
Summary: The wraith are coming, as they promised they would, the battle in sight for Atlantis. Rodney McKay feels fear, feels alone and he goes to Elizabeth for comfort; friendship being all he has for now.