Summary: AU - John Sheppard is High Lord of the Planet Leiath in the Pegasus Galaxy. Rodney's away team gets captured by John's soldiers. Started out as an attempt to write EVIL John Sheppard but it came out more like completely non-evil, but snarky, John Sheppard.

Categories: Slash Pairings > McKay/Sheppard
Characters: Aiden Ford, Carson Beckett, Elizabeth Weir, John Sheppard, Rodney McKay
Genres: AU - Alternate Universe, Humour
Warnings: Adult themes
Chapters: 8 [Table of Contents]
Series: None

Word count: 15450; Completed: Yes
Updated: 03 Nov 2006; Published: 15 Jan 2006

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Dr. Rodney McKay gave up his ineffectual struggles against the two alien goons dragging him towards what, based on prior experience, and wasn't it sad that he actually now had prior experience at being taken prisoner, was either a) a prison cell or b) the lair of some Evil Overlord.

While he was in better shape now than when he had first started these insane field missions through the Stargate he was still a scientist and not a soldier. The soldiers were all, sadly, either dead or unconscious. The ambush had hit them about ten minutes after they'd exited the Stargate. Lieutenant Ford, Sergeant Stackhouse and five other grunts he hadn't bothered to learn the names of, and okay he felt kind of bad about that now that they were probably dead, had gone down in a burst of precision energy blasts of some kind. The only reason he hadn't shared the soldiers' fate was that Ford had realized something was wrong right before the attack started and had used a precious second to shove Rodney behind a rock. Before Rodney even had a chance to fully comprehend the force of the attack, Ford and the others were on the ground and there were really big guns held by really big unknown alien soldiers being shoved into his face.

They had disarmed him before he'd even remembered he had a stupid gun and then force marched him into an airship of some kind which he'd noticed through his general terror was actually very advanced technologically, and he hadn't really meant to try and touch that panel, but the guard who'd given him the bruise on his face hadn't seen it that way. Rodney hadn't seen Ford or the others since he'd been hauled away and he had a sinking sensation that they were all dead and there was no one left to rescue him.

And so, here he was being hauled down a subdued hallway towards a double door with two guards standing at attention (ah, Evil Overlord's throne room then and not a prison cell). The guard on the right saluted the two mutants who were man-handling him. At least he was reasonably certain they weren't saluting him, although that would be pretty cool if the denizens of the planet decided he was actually a God or something although the chances seemed pretty slim since a) he was still being manhandled and b) people who had achieved the technology of flight were rarely the type to be fooled into thinking travellers through the Stargate were Gods.

Oh, and here they were in the throne room or, Evil Overlord's room, and uhm, Evil Overlord was pretty hot. Oh no, he did not just think that. It was the stress, it was the stress making him slightly insane and he hadn't eaten since they had come through the Stargate and that had been at least an hour ago, at least, and he could feel the onset of hypoglycemia and okay now they were in front of Evil Overlord. Rodney tried to jerk his hand free from the goon on his right and was depressingly not surprised when absolutely nothing happened.

"What?" He snapped at right-side goon, his fear as always translating into condescending anger. "Do you think I'm going to attack your Evil Overlord or something? You took my only weapon! I'm surrounded! Don't you have something better to do? Some minions to boss around or something? Some villages to pillage?" He looked up and saw that Evil Overlord looked amused. Evil Overlord nodded to the soldiers who immediately released Rodney and stepped back one pace leaving Rodney the sole uneasy recipient of Evil Overlord's regard. Rodney stared back defiantly, or at least he hoped it was defiantly and opened his mouth to try and negotiate his way out of this. "Okay look, you have to let me go or else my people will blow your planet up."

Evil Overlord smirked at the threat. Smirked? What kind of Evil Overlord smirked anyway? Smiled diabolically yes, fine. But smirking? Actually, he didn't look all that evil. He was sitting on a throne type chair just like you would expect an Evil Overlord to do, okay, he was actually kind of slouching, and he was dressed in a uniform similar to the other soldiers, a slate blue sort of deal with a collar thingie. And his hair was...weird. It was a thick black and was sticking up all over the place. Did they have hair gel in the Pegasus Galaxy? Actually he kind of looked like one of the jocks who used to try to beat Rodney up in high school only older and hello, alien.

And again with the smirk.

Evil Overlord raised an evil eyebrow and drawled out "well, that might be kind of difficult for them to do since, you know, we captured your whole raiding party and no one knows where you are."

Dammit, Evil Overlord had a brain. Rodney hated that in an Evil Overlord.

He drew himself up in irritation. "First of all we were not a raiding party we were, are, peaceful travellers."

"Carrying weapons?" Evil Overlord raised his evil eyebrow again as one of his Evil Minions handed him one of the P-90's the Atlantis soldiers had all been carrying. Rodney winced and shouted "Careful with that!" He watched in apprehension as Evil Overlord casually inspected the weapon. It would be just his luck if the gun went off and he ended up shot by accident.

"And our weapons are for protection," Rodney muttered, watching resentfully as Evil Overlord casually found the release on the gun, removed the magazine and efficiently reloaded it all in about five seconds. It had taken Rodney several very painfully awkward training sessions with Ford to be able to do that and he still couldn't accomplish it that fast.

"And my people know what planet we're on. We have, uh, tracking devices amongst ourselves." Rodney added hastily.

"Really?" Evil Overlord looked back up at Rodney, interested. "Funny, 'cause our scans didn't show any tracking devices on you when we captured you for, you know, trespassing on our planet."

Rodney decided to ignore the first part of the sentence since, well, he was lying about the tracking devices although, really, that was a good idea and if he got out of this alive he was going to talk to Elizabeth and Colonel Sumner about some sort of implants. "I told you," Rodney repeated impatiently. "We're peaceful explorers. We didn't mean to trespass on your little planet. We're looking for trading partners. Give us back our possessions and we'll be happy to leave."

"Oooh, Peaceful Explorers," Evil Overlord nodded thoughtfully. "Right. Never heard that one before. Still," he mused, "I suppose it's possible."

Rodney felt himself relax slightly. Maybe he was a reasonable Evil Overlord. Maybe he would let them go and give them food. Maybe this would actually turn into the holy grail of planets and have coffee beans. And, oh, ZPM's.

"What's your name?"

That was safe to tell right? Rodney drew himself up to his full height. "I'm Dr. Rodney McKay. I am a scientist specializing in...."

"And what planet are you from?" Evil Overlord cut him off.

Rodney felt himself tense back up. "Uh," Rodney hesitated briefly. In the short time they'd been exploring the Pegasus Galaxy they'd learned that most of the worlds had heard of Atlantis and that the reactions were varied. It might be better not to mention Atlantis for now. "Earth, we're from a planet called Earth." He figured they would never have heard of it and it was safer than saying that they were from Atlantis. He was surprised, therefore, when he felt the Evil Overlord's previously amused interest sharpen to something much more intense and Rodney felt his stomach drop at being the sudden centre of such focused attention. It was like having a laser suddenly targeting you in its sights. A laser with messy hair.

"Earth," Evil Overlord repeated in a slow drawl. "That's...interesting." He considered Rodney for another long, searching moment before apparently reaching some sort of decision. He motioned for another soldier who had been standing to the right of his throne and murmured something to him. The soldier, a tall, older man who was another buff example of jock breeding at its finest frowned slightly and nodded before murmuring back "and the others?"

Rodney's head snapped up as sharp hope struck him. "Wait, others? Others? Are they okay? Are they alive?" He babbled out, looking hopefully back and forth between Evil Overlord and the other guy. "When my people come looking for us they'll trade for us. All of us," he emphasized. Please, God, let Ford and the others be alive.

Evil Overlord's eyes had never left Rodney's and now Rodney saw humour and that stupid smirk returning. "Is that before or after your people blow us up?"

"Yes, well, they'll probably be willing to negotiate first. But if you hurt us then they'll definitely blow you up," he snapped out. Dammit, negotiations weren't his field!

Evil Overlord smirked again and murmured an answer to the soldier that was too soft for Rodney to hear. The soldier nodded at the two goons and before Rodney could breathe out a protest they had him by the arms again and were dragging him back out the double doors. He frantically pulled against them but was as spectacularly unsuccessful as he had been the first time. He craned his neck around to look back at Evil Overlord who was watching him be led from the throne room with cool interest. "Wait!" He shouted desperately. "We're a very technologically advanced people, Evil Overlord! We can be useful trading partners. We can be allies!" The last was said to shut doors as he was led back into the hallway and towards another door.

Panic, which had been fluttering erratically around his system started to take over as the guards pulled him into some sort of elevator or lift system. One of the guards put a hand against a scanning pad and spoke a command "Sub-level 9." It didn't feel like they were moving but a light above them flashed a cool blue and Rodney was unceremoniously pulled out of the elevator onto a new floor. He was hauled off to the left and he tried to keep track of where they were going but he was very scared and, okay, now they were in front of another double door with two guards. Repeat of the salute and they were in what looked like someone's quarters. Someone's very nice quarters. Was this good or bad?

Wait, was that food over there?