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Penname: Beaker Bait [Contact]
Real name: Member Since: 22 Mar 2006
Membership status: Member
There's not a whole lot to say about me. I'm a Senior in high school, I like writting, playing sports, watching T.V. (Science fiction mostly: both Stargate series, Startrek, Battlestar...), and just about anything else a typical teenager likes to do these days. (Side Note the above website isn't actually mine it belongs to a friend of mine. You should all go check it out anyway).


Now just for a little something to make you go WTF (I Found this on the internet).

Job Application
This is an actual job application submitted to a fast-food restaurant.

NAME: Greg B

DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle-management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It was lousy.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE: Only when set on fire.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS: Living in Bimini with a fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.