Wraithbait

Summary: Screw the bet. Rodney was going to prove the existence of extraterrestrial intelligence. Oh, and incidentally, he might just catch the United States Air Force with their pants around their ankles.

Summary: In the year 10073 After the Exodus, humans are the dominant race on Earth. The remaining descendants of the Lanteans are kept as pets, carefully bred to keep the gene alive that is needed to operate their ancestors' machines, their beautiful cities. Once a pet is fully mature, he or she is assigned to an owner; a person they are programmed to love and obey until they die.

Summary: Rodney McKay is a maligned scientist, kicked out of his cushy post at a leading university. When no other school will hire him, he falls back on his high school hobby--inventing simple items to help around the house. The problem is, his abrasive personality makes selling his brilliant inventions hard. Enter John Sheppard, king of late night infomercials. John's sure his good looks and charm can help sell Rodney's products, but first they'll have to sell John to Rodney...

Summary: Ascended!Major John Sheppard is playing matchmaker for alternate versions of himself and Rodney. Series of stories centering around different versions of John and Rodney and how ascended!John tires to make them see reason.

Summary: Rodney used to have a job in research; John used to be in the military. Rodney used to live alone; John hasn't lived alone in centuries. Rodney used to be human; John used to be human. Circumstances force them together and each has to learn how to cope - both as humans, and as wolves.

Summary: (Taken from the original story post in Lavvyan's Live Journal.)

If you ever wanted to know how my mind works:

There's new spam in my inbox, with the intriguing subject line of "Male Enhancement".

Which leads to me wondering how the human male, in general, would be enhanced.

Which leads to imagined conversations such as, "Now, my new boyfriend is an SX-7. He does the laundry and the dishes, and he never comes first." - "Oh, I'm so envious! I only have a GL. He can't even cook. *deep sigh*"

Which leads to brief flashbacks to the two volumes of Yuu Watase's Zettai Kareshi! I actually read, and to just about every John-is-a-hooker fic out there.

Which naturally leads to this: