Penname: Ayama_chi [Contact] Real name: Member Since: 09 Jun 2009 Membership status: Member
I've been with Stargate since the beginning, but I'm fairly new to the fanfiction arena (since 2004). It's my alltime favorite show, and Samantha Carter is my favorite person and role model.
Despite that, my OTP is Jack/Daniel and somehow Sam/Jack seems wrong, even before I was into slash.
I've started with Atlantis a year and a half late, and was most interested in Carson/Rodney at first. Now I'm writing John/Evan and I really don't know where that came from, but it turned into my Atlantis OTP and I'm happy with it :D
Summary: Yesterday is but a dream, tomorrow but a vision. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore, to this day. Such is the salutation to the dawn.
Wow, I am left speechless! This fic was so amazing, slow to develop and with a foreign feeling to it that only added to the authenticity of it. You write a wonderful Radek voice, so very true to form, very realistic and pragmatic that I felt like hugging him. I loved the way you managed to describe the Atlantis of the day to day through Radek's eyes, as well as some truths about Ronon I don't think I have ever ran across in fanfiction, although it all sounded so very reasonable given the people on Sheppard's team. I thoroughly enjoyed this fic, it was multi-leyered and breath-taking, and kudos on Nara and the genious-loving yeti! :)
It's a nice story, even if a little under-developed. It has the potential to become a nice slash series if you intend to write more (whic, by the way, are you?). At any rate, it was a nice GEN/Pre-Slash story! :)
Author's Response: Thanks! Wrote this as a little study into complex emotions and trust dynamics in a tricky situation. Intended this as a stand-alone but why not? Thanks for commenting! :)
The story's got a lot of potential, but you need to work on it some more. For example, you need to decide what to call your characters: 'John', 'Sheppard', 'Lorne', 'Evan' all mixed together in a single sentence is very confusing. Maybe gradually change it to show the gradual change in Sheppard and Lorne's relationship? Also you need to seperate the mass of the fic into smaller parts. The way it is right now it's 6000+ words in one long scroll. Seperating it would make the fic easier to read. All in all, it was an interesting read and I hope you weren't offended by my critique...
Author's Response: Thank you! I very much appreciate the help. I\'m brand new at this and welcome any help I can get. Your points are all valid. I\'ll try to work on that in future stories and go back and re-work this story once I\'ve learned a bit more. I wasn\'t sure about how to handle the presentation - all in one or broken up into chapters. I usually copy things to read off-site so I tend toward the all-in-one approach. But I agree that if reading online it involves a lot of scrolling. Thank you for reading one of my first attempts at writing, and thanks for taking the time to give me some feedback.
Amazing. And so realistic, I envy you for being able to write like this. I don't know how close it is to reality, but I liked your John. It was both pragmatic and possessive, the hard ass commander. I look forward to read more from you :)
Author's Response: *Blushes* Thank you! I don\'t usually write this style, so I\'m really glad to hear that it seems to have worked out. =) I\'m glad you enjoyed this John, it was certainly fun to write a more \'hard-ass\' John. =) Cheers, Ace
When I read the fic I had a feeling that it was a part of something bigger, something that maybe you had built in your mind but never put it all on paper. I found it hard to relate to the anguish that John and Evan were feeling because it was hard to understand where it was coming from, and even harder to understand what motivated John and Evan to behave the way they do. The dialogues and actions didn't tell it all, and it's a shame because it could have been a very nice longer fic, maybe even a novellete.
Author's Response: Yeah. I\'m not necessarily done with the idea, it was just something that yes, I developed in my mind and hope to eventually get on to paper as something bigger. I\'ll make sure I let you know if/when I do :)
