Some random person
16 Oct 2005
It was the high-pitched, girly giggles that kept him running through the empty halls of the old city, not daring to stop.
Updated: 08 Mar 2006; Published: 08 Mar 2006
That was hilarious! Short and sweet! I love your writing style. and I love the way you portryed both John and rodney! Keep up the Awesome Possum work! =^~^=
Author's Response: Thanks so much!
Ten years into the future, Rodney suffers a fatal accident.
Updated: 20 Aug 2006; Published: 19 Aug 2006
Wow, just wow. I loved it. You captured Rodney’s personality perfectly. An when I say perfectly I mean it. You captured John’s well too. Here are some of the aspects of your story that I liked.
“Several signatures had surprised the hell out of the pair, including Stephen Caldwell's.”
A lot of people write really well, but they bash, Kavanaugh is the major victim, but Caldwell is a close second. I think that Caldwell would accept John and Rodney’s relationship. I really appreciate how mature it was of you to leave the bashing out.
“John brushed his fingers against hand carved chess pieces on a small table in the corner. It would forever be Rodney’s move in their unfinished game.” That line was particularly poetic, It is sort of symbolizing that even though John promised to move on he never truly will. It is sort of saying to me (I don’t like judging other peoples writing) that Rodney still has unfinished business, but in a bittersweet way John is accepting that.
“John had to smile when he opened the letter – the top flap of the tri-folded letter had, simply ‘He's dead, Jim,’ scrawled on it and John could hear Rodney saying it, as if his lover were sitting beside him.” I think that this line captures Rodney’s character particularly well, and makes the story lean towards the sweet side of bitter sweet.
“John's fingers ghosted over the words as he read, as if he could pick up some final trace of Rodney. He was disappointed to discover that the letter itself smelled of high quality old fashioned ink and paper, and not Rodney.” This part I also like because a lot of people would put that he could smell Rodney or something else, and its romantic and cliché. It also symbolizes (in my mind) that Rodney really is gone.
Because this sure as hell isn't a 'Dear John,' letter. This line also helps it lean more towards sweet than bitter.
Pretty clever, eh? I know I could have just given it to him, or Carson or anyone else but then I wouldn't have been able to use that rather brilliant program of mine. Another line that captures Rodney’s character.
“hope to god I didn't get killed by something stupid, either. Kids. Was I saving kids? I hate the little brats but there are worse ways to be remembered than saving a pack of kids from certain doom. I hope there'll be a lot of them, now. Atlantis needs more kids. Especially now that they won't be bugging me. Make sure there are a lot of kids, John. I think Atlantis misses having little ones running around. She's a city, not a space station.”
“I know no one will ever compare to me, but you've got too much love not to share it with someone. Name a kid after me.”
“Not that my brilliance is going to stop having its effects any time soon, but don't let me be forgotten. Not where it counts; In Pegasus Galaxy; In Atlantis.
Rodney” These lines stuck out to me too. I actually got teary eyed while reading this because I was listening to Rufus Wainwraight’s Hallelujah, and the song and the story combined brought it out. Pleas keep up your wonderful writing!
Author's Response: Wow! Thank you so much! I'm floored by the thoughtfulness of your feedback, it's amazing! I'm so glad so much of it struck a chord with you. Hallelujah is a *heartbreaking* song, though I admit to preferring the Johnny Cale version heard in the movie. Thank you so much for reading. :)
Chapter 1: Final Moments 1/1
Rodney was physically attracted to women, but emotionally attracted to men.
Updated: 20 Aug 2006; Published: 20 Aug 2006
I love the way that you porteayed rodney. I loved the way that you used the words to weave the picture into a picture. I envy you four your ability with POV's (I have trouble sticking to one) Please keep up the wonderful writing.
Author's Response: Thanks, I'm really glad you liked it. This story was a sort of experimental departure from my usual style, so it's nice to know it worked for you.