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Penname: Beaker Bait [Contact]
Real name: Member Since: 22 Mar 2006
Membership status: Member
There's not a whole lot to say about me. I'm a Senior in high school, I like writting, playing sports, watching T.V. (Science fiction mostly: both Stargate series, Startrek, Battlestar...), and just about anything else a typical teenager likes to do these days. (Side Note the above website isn't actually mine it belongs to a friend of mine. You should all go check it out anyway).


Now just for a little something to make you go WTF (I Found this on the internet).

Job Application
This is an actual job application submitted to a fast-food restaurant.

NAME: Greg B

DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle-management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It was lousy.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE: Only when set on fire.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS: Living in Bimini with a fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.

Stories by Beaker Bait
Anything? by Beaker Bait [NC-17]
[Reviews - 3]

Summary: John had always told himself that he would do anything to keep Elizabeth safe, but what she was asking him to do, what he was being cornered into went against every moral he had.

Categories: Ship Pairings > Sheppard/Weir
Characters: Elizabeth Weir, John Sheppard
Genres: Angst, Drama, Hurt Comfort
Warnings: Non-consensual
Chapters: 11 [Table of Contents]
Series: None

Word count: 33023; Completed: Yes
Updated: 13 Apr 2006; Published: 12 Apr 2006
Home Again by Beaker Bait [PG-13]
[Reviews - 4]

Summary: Ten years ago Elizabeth disappeared while off world. Now after all these years she's finally coming home.

Categories: Ship Pairings > Sheppard/Weir
Characters: Elizabeth Weir, John Sheppard, Original Character, Other, Rodney McKay
Genres: AU - Alternate Universe, Angst, Established Relationship, Hurt Comfort, Romance
Warnings: None
Chapters: 20 [Table of Contents]
Series: None

Word count: 34650; Completed: Yes
Updated: 02 Apr 2006; Published: 25 Mar 2006

Summary: He wasn't going to talk and he would make sure Weir knew it. He would take her ice cream and eat it obediently, but that was it, that's where he drew the line.

Categories: General
Characters: Elizabeth Weir, Ronon Dex
Genres: Friendship, Pre-relationship
Warnings: None
Chapters: 1 [Table of Contents]
Series: None

Word count: 2704; Completed: Yes
Updated: 23 Mar 2006; Published: 22 Mar 2006

Summary: For all new personnel (Both Civilian and Military) from Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: To save both you and myself a lot of trouble and headache I have compiled a list of simple rules to help make life easier for all involved.(Correct version of Ch4 now posted)

Categories: General
Characters: Elizabeth Weir
Genres: Humour
Warnings: None
Chapters: 4 [Table of Contents]
Series: None

Word count: 2726; Completed: Yes
Updated: 22 Mar 2006; Published: 22 Mar 2006

Summary: "Grandkids? Getting a little ahead of yourself there don't you think?" (Small spoilers for Allies, but I don't think they're too spoilerish for the episode.)

Categories: Ship Pairings > Sheppard/Weir
Characters: Elizabeth Weir, John Sheppard
Genres: Episode Related, Established Relationship, Humour, Romance
Warnings: None
Chapters: 1 [Table of Contents]
Series: None

Word count: 762; Completed: Yes
Updated: 22 Mar 2006; Published: 22 Mar 2006